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Old 06-14-2008, 07:59 PM   #1  
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Default I need help please

I just dont know what to do any more.
I have lost the same 20 pounds about 5 times in the last few years. I lose and gain lose and gain a horrible cycle. But my biggest problem is food I cant control myself anymore. When I eat good food by evening I am starving and I over stuff. I cant stop thinking if I blow it I might as well eat alot and start tomarrow then I blow it the next day and over indulge thinking Ill start tomarrow and so on.... tomarrow never comes. Plus if I eat 4 cookies and think well I blew it I might as well eat them all! I recognize my problems but cant change them I have tryed. Its like when I smoked I didnt care what I eat because I felt one its to hard to breathe good Ill wait till I quit. Well now I have quit a year and a half ago and its like well if I smoked I would eat less. I always have an excuss.
I eat alot of food. I dont eat much junk. my problem is to much food. I am a vegitarian an will make about 10 veggie sticks 1/2 cup of brown rice and corn well it tastes sooo good I make more if I dont I feel hungry. When I eat good and stay within my calories I feel starved. Even drinking 8 glasses of water. I just dont know what to do anymore. I know youd think since I can identify my problems I should be able to do something about them right? Any and all advice welcome thanks guys Kelly.

Oh btw my tracker says 237 that was a month ago I have already regained to 257

Last edited by babyfattimes3; 06-14-2008 at 08:01 PM.
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Old 06-14-2008, 08:41 PM   #2  
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We've all been there so know that you're not alone. What worked for me was to make a commitment to losing weight. I made it my "job." I tried to lose many times before, but until I made that commitment in my mind to do it, I would lose, gain, lose, gain.

I don't like to be hungry so I eat small meals every 2-3 hours, and those meals contain lots of filling fiber. Exercise is extremely important and in my losing phase, I exercised almost every day, starting with walking and working into running and other forms of cardio as I got more fit.

You must change the all or nothing mentality. Okay, you overate one meal--that does NOT blow it for the rest of the day. You have to just jump back in and stay on plan for the rest of the day. Go for a walk, call someone, come here and post, do something that breaks the cycle of mindless eating. Set yourself up for success by changing those thoughts of "I can't change." You CAN change. You're no different than those of us on the board who have lost large amounts of weight. Believe that you can do this, no matter how long it takes, and your name will be added to the Hundred Pound Losers Club.
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Old 06-15-2008, 05:55 AM   #3  
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Girl, you're singing my song!!! I did this for YEARS...I complained about my weight ALL the time, I hated the way I looked and felt, degraded myself for it, made excuses for it and every week I'd say "OK so I'll start eating right on Monday" then on Tuesday I'd say "Oops! Forgot to start eating right yesterday so I'll start next Monday"...My husband got so sick of hearing me complain about it, he tried to BRIBE me with a tummy tuck and new boobs (2 things I'd been wanting for awhile) if I lost the weight...didn't happen! Finally, something happened that was a HUGE slap in the face for me; I couldn't fit into a ride at an amusement park! I was mortified! You need to find out what motivates YOU to lose the weight...it won't be the same as mine or someone else's...just like when you quit smoking, something happened that made you finally say THAT IS IT and you quit...don't give up and like Sheila said, forget the all or nothing mentality. Instead of one day at a time take it maybe one hour at a time...break it down into segments that make YOU successful, if you mess up ONE small segment it doesn't mess up the whole day. We are here for you and we'll help you through, just don't give up!
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Old 06-15-2008, 09:50 AM   #4  
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You should be able to lose weight without being so hungry. Fiber, protein, and a moderate amount of healthy fats are really important to keep you full and satisfied. I don't know what you are eating overall, but could you add some edamame or tofu to that brown rice? Do you eat dairy? I plan a snack in the evening of lowfat yogurt or ricotta cheese with fruit, etc., to help keep me full.
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Old 06-15-2008, 11:08 AM   #5  
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As the other posters said, the all or nothing attitude is going to derail you. You cannot possibly be perfect for the rest of your life. The point is to do the best you can, and get right back on track with the next meal. Don't even wait for the next day. You can't undo what you just ate - but you certainly can stop from consuming an extra 500 calories later because you ate 4 cookies earlier.

If you are starving on your calorie allotment per day, you aren't eating enough. What is your range for the day?
Are you getting adequate amount on protein, fat and good carbs?
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Old 06-15-2008, 06:02 PM   #6  
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Quote:
I recognize my problems but cant change them I have tryed.
Unfortunately .. there's no other answer. You say you can't change ... it seems like you've made up your mind. You just can't. But there's no other option here. No one else can change your problems or habits for you and there's no magic bullet that will let you continue with your current mindset and still lose weight.

I know that sucks, but unfortunately it's the truth.

Really the best thing to do is to take baby steps. You aren't able to change everything at once, so make one change. Just one. Pick one thing that you can control and do it.

The other thing is to, as someone else said, work on getting rid of the "all or nothing" attitude. Instead of thinking about doing something forever .. just do it today. If you want cookies, tell yourself that you're not going to eat them today - you'll do it tomorrow. And then you can deal with tomorrow ... well, tomorrow.

Baby steps will be so much easier than trying to do it all at once, failing, and saying "I can't". Because really .. you can. You just have to take it one step at a time.

.
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Old 06-15-2008, 08:15 PM   #7  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by babyfattimes3 View Post
I eat alot of food. I dont eat much junk. my problem is to much food. I am a vegitarian an will make about 10 veggie sticks 1/2 cup of brown rice and corn well it tastes sooo good I make more if I dont I feel hungry.
This description of a typical meal is one clue to why you're always hungry. There's no protein there, and you need protein to stave off hunger. I was a vegetarian for eight years, so I know first hand how hard it is to fit in adequate amounts of protein and stay within a weight loss calorie range. It's possible, but you have to increase your protein with tofu or soy or beans.

Once I figured out I was insulin resistant I realized that I can never lose weight as a vegetarian. So I started buying humanely farmed meat from local farmers, and now I'm losing again. Being a vegetarian just involved too many carbs for me to lose. Your experience may be different, of course, but you definitely need more protein.
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Old 06-16-2008, 06:20 AM   #8  
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I totally understand how you are feeling - I have been there SO many times. Maybe try some baby step....drink lots of water or write down everything you eat dilegently or start each day with stretches or movement.

What has helped me is listening to weight loss meditation tapes or just plain meditating. It takes practice - but, is so so helpful in calming the frenzy of life and food.

You CAN do this. I am so glad you posted.
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Old 06-16-2008, 07:30 AM   #9  
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I'm also insulin resistant, and I find that carbs (even "good" ones) increase my hunger, so I easily overeat them. Even if I keep calories low, a high-carb diet just doesn't work very well for me.

One thing to remember is that what you've tried hasn't worked for you, that doesn't mean nothing will work, but you can't do what you've always done and expect anything other than what you've always gotten. Something in how you're trying to lose weight, or in how you're thinking about it is holding you back. Try something else.

You may be trying to stick to a calorie level that is unrealistic. To a degree starving yourself is a lot like holding your breath. You can do it easily for a while, but it gets harder and harder until instinct and more primitive parts of the brain kick in. Unlike breathing, you're not going to pass out and start eating while unconscious, but you can feel anxious or nervous until you give in and eat. Eating to give in to starvation relieves stress. "That wasn't fun, let's not try this for a while," is a natural response (hold your breath until you feel like your head is going to explode - now when do you want to try that again?)

So, stop trying to "hold your breath." Change the foods and/or reduce the amount of food you are cutting back. You can lose weight if you eat "almost" what you would eat to maintain your weight (this is a little trickier if you have insulin resistance, and you might have to increase the protein to carb ratio to see alot of success).

But keep up the trial and error and don't give up no matter how slow the weight loss is. You've got to look at even weight maintenance as success in order to keep off the dieting roller coaster. Because if you look at maintaining your nearly 40 lb loss as an incredible success, one that you intend to keep, then giving up and regaining isn't as tempting. It's only when you've decided that you've failed because you haven't lost (and ignore the success that maintaining would be ) and that it doesn't matter - do you stop trying and return to gain-eating.

I think another thing that can get in the way is allowing yourself to interpret difficult and slow as synonymous with impossible. Difficult and slow, just means difficult and slow, it never has to mean impossible. Keep going, keep trying, don't get discouraged, and don't throw yourself down the stairs.

By that I mean you've got to look at food intake like any skill you want to practice. If you're trying to play the piano, you don't take a sledgehammer to the piano (or yourself) when you're having difficulty learning. If you're climbing a staircase, you don't throw yourself to the bottom if you trip on one step.

Change is tough. No two ways about it. It's never going to be easy, and it's rarely going to be fast, but you can do it if you don't set yourself up to fail (and even learning to do that can be a difficult change in itself).

Hang in there.
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Old 06-16-2008, 08:57 AM   #10  
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Stumbling over one stair doesn't mean you have to throw yourself down the whole flight. None of us are perfect. you CAN do this. Until you tell yourself YOU CAN, you won't.
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Old 06-17-2008, 05:57 AM   #11  
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Kelly,

I was struck by your comment "when I eat good and stay within my calories I am starving". I too find that different foods fill me differently, and carbs don't do it for me, I am a protein girl!

Think about splurging on a couple of sessions with a dietician to assess your eating and make a plan. That has really helped me and my husband. Also, my doctor told me to lose 2lbs a month. Setting that as a goal feels so easy, that instead of doing major deprivation I'm settled into a much easier and more maintainable eating plan.

We all have heard that it takes at least 20 minutes for your brain to catch up with your stomach...so eating very slowly may help as well.

Good luck
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