New here-embarassed - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

startanew · 03-01-2008, 02:33 PM

Hello everyone
I just found this forum last night, and I think this is great. I think OA is what I need, I've been thinking about it for a while. I've had problems with binging since I was little...hiding in my room with a box of cookies or chocolate, eating until I could explode, then wishing I had room to eat more. I've went through a couple of stages in my life where I just had to lose the weight, so along with the binging came the purging. Mostly its binging which has gotten me to the 275 lb mark.

I've been to the OA website several times, and through lots of tears I've wrote down the number, and I know where the meetings are-less than 2 minutes from my house. I'm too embarassed to say it aloud, much less go to a meeting. If I were to go to a meeting, the thought of telling my dh would be devastating. I'm sure he would be supportive, but how do I get past that? Plus I'm in a small town, and I think, what if I know someone? Anyone go through this? How do you get past it?

Tracy

PudgieMom · 03-01-2008, 09:47 PM

Hi Tracy:

I'm a very new member of OA and I shared so many of your fears. It really is frightening to feel so out of control and desperate to change. When I went to my first meeting, I was absolutely terrified, but I found other people with the same food secrets I had. It is so liberating to feel the love and support of other folks who've been there/done that. It's when we admit just how powerless we are and look beyond ourselves that we can finally begin to grow. I haven't felt so hopeful in years and years. It's a wonderful feeling. I hope you will find the courage to attend. Everyone you would meet there has the same problems as you and anonymity is one of the cornerstones of the OA program.

Wishing you all the best that life has to offer.

Jenny

evandrewsmom · 03-02-2008, 09:44 AM

Hello,
I am also new here and this site is wonderful. There is a good group of people here who are here for support and encouragement. I will be going to my second oa meeting today. I was so afraid and nervous the first time but I loved it! Everyone was so supportive and welcoming. I met one woman who has been abstinant for almost 7 years. What an inspiration. Good luck with your new journey.

startanew · 03-02-2008, 01:01 PM

Jenny and evandrewsmom- You all make it seem so hopeful! I'm so sick of crying all the time about this and being mean to those I love because I'm miserable. My husband and I have grown apart so much lately, because of my moodiness. I just can't get it together and its seeped into every other part of my life. I definitely have to do something drastic. I've already mentioned to my dh that I may be going to a support group(thats all I could admit to so far). I'm going to at least make the call this week and see what happens from there. Thanks so much.

Tracy

marny · 03-02-2008, 10:57 PM

Hey Tracy-
Your last post was exactly how I felt before my first meeting. Then, something amazing happened-- I found out I wasn't alone and there was hope. You don't have to tell anyone where you are going until you WANT to.

startanew · 03-03-2008, 10:22 AM

Okay, I'm going to do it. The meetings are on Sat., I'm so nervous, but so excited at the same time! To think I might actually have some real help with this!

PudgieMom · 03-03-2008, 12:23 PM

Tracy:

You won't regret it! Just after a short time in OA I feel more at peace with myself than I have in years. That definitely spills over into other relationships in a very positive way. Always before when I have dieted, I have felt a sense of entitlement. You know--"I'm dieting, so the rest of the world needs to be nice to me and tolerate my crankiness". That has not happened this time. When I am really hungry, I am trying to connect with my HP to provide a sense of peace. I'm slowly starting to figure out that hunger is a good thing! When we face our weaknesses together, we can become stronger!

Jenny

marny · 03-04-2008, 01:06 AM

Jenny-
I love what you wrote.

startanew-
Hurray! Your first meeting! That's awesome.

evandrewsmom · 03-15-2008, 04:43 PM

Hi Tracy,
I am hoping you made it through your first meeting and checking in to see how you are doing. I haven't posted in awhile, been home with the flu and won't be able to make it to my meeting this week, but I have to take care of myself in other ways until I get better.
Let me know how you are doing.