[beautifulone]

How can my thinking be so warped? HOW??? I feel fat again, I feel like the fat on my abdomen is so much tighter, because there is more of it again and it has no where to go. I can't fit into clothes, I think I look much worse than I did, I obviously don't feel better at a heavier weight. AND, I woke up during the night last night with a very similar discomfort in my abdomen that I used to have that in the past had me thinking it may have been gallstones (that was cleared up with ultrasound). When it lasted, it used to come on after eating a lot of fat. i.e. last night.

I am tired and I feel really sad..and I don't know how to make myself feel better. which I am sure is increasing the desire to go out and buy chocolate and cookies... such junk!! I am going to the gym this morning, but the gym is situated right next to a grocery store. All morning I have had this debate in my head of

- "no, do not do it, you don't need it and you know it will only make you feel worse!"

- "but a little bit won't hurt and it would feel soo good"

- "it's not a little bit, it's a lot, and it has already hurt, made you gain back so much weight!! you know how awful you feel when you look in the mirror and see the number on the scale, remember how great you used to feel seeing that number get lower and lower?!"

- "silence.." somewhere in the distance of my head though: "but a little bit won't hurt and it feels so good!"

UGH! What the ****!! And I realized the other day that on some level, I don't believe I could ever look that good. It's as though I believe that despite eating healthy and exercising, I will remain obese/overweight and that won't ever change. And at the same time I feel so awful that I just want to be comforted and I keep turning to food for that comfort. And I'm sorry, I feel like I keep whining. I don't mean to be I just wanted to get some perspective from you guys.

[chick_in_the_hat]

whining is always allowed.

I HATE that freaking voice that says a little bit won't hurt....it's in my head too. The problem is that giving into it only makes me want more.

Sometimes I can talk it into waiting. If I can put off buying cookies until tomorrow...and then tomorrow I do the same thing...

[math puppy]

oh man! i get that voice too! but you can do this! look at all the ppl that already have, you will be one of them one day! just dont give up! im rooting for you where ever you are!

[susiemartin]

I have the same problem.
What really gets me discourage is when I'm on "auto pilot" and don't even realize
what I'm eating.
1/2 jar of peanut butter goes down before I catch myself.

[chick_in_the_hat]

susiemartin - if possible, get the PB out of the house. Have you ever tried better'n'butter? It doesn't taste as good....especially straight. But it's pretty good in a sandwich. For me this stops me from eating it out of the jar.

My theory of waiting until tomorrow is much easier when I have to go somewhere to get stuff.

[KrisR]

Keep your eyes on the screen and your fingers on the keyboard and don't back away until you have the strength to say no to the cookies!

I do find that by reading threads here and different blogs that I can sometimes get past those moments where I just need/want to eat something. I had one of those moments yesterday....I just wanted to eat. I wasn't hungry physically. It was something else, and I really don't know what, but I just needed to force myself NOT to eat the cookie or even the carrot.

It's not easy, for sure. Somedays I can say no, others I can't. Food is an incideous foe. This isn't an easy battle. But, if we give up the battle, we're doomed to the misery of being trapped in a body that is bigger than healthy for us (me).

Do you have a list of why you are losing weight/getting healthier? It might be a good time to refer to that list to remotivate yourself.

I'm pulling for you!

[LisaF]

Originally Posted by beautifulone

I am tired and I feel really sad..and I don't know how to make myself feel better. which I am sure is increasing the desire to go out and buy chocolate and cookies... such junk!!

I was really struck by this comment, because I can definitely relate to this feeling. But when I'm having these moments, it really helps me to stop and ask myself, "How is eating the chocolate going to make me feel less sad?" I haven't been able to come up with a good answer to that one. When I try to tell myself that chocolate releases a feel-good chemical in the brain, I remind myself that exercise does too, and does a far better job!

There are some books that really helped me cope with my tendency for emotional eating, and I have gotten hugely betterabout it. I highly recommend Geneen Roth, if you're not already familiar with her. The first book of hers I ever read was When Food is Love, and it was the first time I ever started to ask why it was that I thought food was the solution to my emotional issues.

Lisa

[JoyfulVegGirl]

Ditto what Lisa said. What else is going on in your life? What's going on when you get those cravings? Are you bored? Sad? Angry? Tired? Food only postpones those feelings. You still have to deal with them sooner or later.

It might make it a lot easier too if you disconnect going to the gym with shopping for food (or junk). Tell yourself that when you go to the gym, you're going to work out, and that's IT. No stopping anywhere on the way home, no trying to talk yourself into it while you're working out. No matter what. Make your gym time your time to reflect and focus on your body and it's wants and needs, instead of thinking of it as something that you need to reward yourself for.

You can do this!

[rockinrobin]

Oh those stupid voices!!!

The food tastes good- the good ends there. You absolutely DON'T need it. You've got to use some self-talk and tell yourself over and over again that you don't need it and are better off without it. Remember, as someone's signature here says, "if hunger is not the problem, food is not the solution". Tell yourself this over and over again if need be.

If we're ever going to get anywhere with the weight loss, we've got to break the cycle of giving into those voices/urges/CRAVINGS. Once you start resisting them, the easier it gets. You have more and more time between them and a new habit will form. One where you don't give into the cravings just because you want it. And then a great thing happens, the voices are further and further apart.

Hang tough, it's so incredibly worth it.

[GirlyGirlSebas]

I constantly battle with self doubt. But, I've realized that the more I lose, the longer I keep it off and the longer I'm eating healthier and feeling better....my self doubt gets smaller and smaller. Keep going! One day, you'll believe in yourself, too. And, keep coming here and reading all of the posts. Hearing about other's journey and how they are overcoming temptations is very encouraging and shows you that this can be done. You can do this, too!