But sometimes I think, "Why am I even trying to lose weight?"
I just feel, no matter how much weight I lose, no matter how much lean muscle I develop, no matter how much cosmetic surgery I get, I will never be gorgeous...I will never look like Halle Berry...I will never look like Beyonce.
It's very frustrating to have to reach a point of self-acceptance. But I've decided to look the best that I possibly can, because if heavier, I'll look even worse and be even more depressed.
Also, when women that I think are uglier than me have boyfriends or husbands, it makes me sad. I wear nice clothes, makeup, and stylish hairstyles for myself, but when I see an ok looking woman with a man, it makes me just say screw it all! Damn. This sucks. It all makes me feel ugly. And then when I meet a nice, successful, attractive guy, I think deep down, "He would never really want me. He's out of my league." But I refuse to date men that are considered to be "in my league." So I just don't date.
Ugh. Don't I have days like that sometimes...I sure do identify with that last part. I would like to say that no matter what that number on the scale says, don't ever lower your expectations- you deserve the best and no less! This much is true! The sucky thing about love is that you never know when it's going to sweep you off your feet (or knock you clean over).
Also, you ARE a gorgeous woman! You do need to learn to love and accept yourself before anyone else and that doesn't happen with surgery or a satisfactory number on the scale. The level that you speak of I believe comes from within and I hope you can find that
I don't see anything wrong with your attitude, it sounds very realistic. You're at a healthy weight now, granted, you might want to lose a few more pounds, but the key is being healthier.
First, from your profile pic. you look very pretty. Although those celeb's are pretty, you are you and shouldn't want to be them. You sound like you like to dress well and take care of yourself. As long as you keep a good attitude I think you'll find someone.
I use to think only the "PRETTY SKINNY" girls got the guys. Well I met the man of my dreams(hubby now) being 217lbs, and trust me he's not only the man of my dreams but about every girl who meets him. He's in a band but is not your typical band guy. He is faithful and treats me like I deserve to be treated. I never in a million years thought I would get a guy like him. He's hot, got a great bod, great job, and worships the ground I walk on.
Love will find you. Beauty in within, all that is on the outside is just for show..lol. I'd buy a house if it was beautiful on the inside and ugly on the outside.
HA ha - i feel the same way - i don't like a lot of men in "my league" thus I don't date.
I don't get it! men are scared of us???? or we are scared of them?
as a side issue on the "self acceptance" and living up to societies impossible standards being set on women these days - have you seen the new dove ad? check it out here
every single person should sit down and watch this and understand how distorted our perception of beauty is.
it does come down to being comfortable with yourself while being realistic of what is possible with our limitations. i know i will never look like mischa barton - i don't resemble any of her features but it doesn't mean i can emphasise my own best assets to become my own "mischa". does that even make sense?
When I first met my bf I was thin, fairly attractive (I got any guy I ever wanted), and was actually dating someone better looking and with more money. He was definitely WAY below my league!! But he was persistant, and kind.. and even though all my friends said no, I went for it anyways. Fast forward 6 years. He's extremely sucessful with his job, great looking, decent body.. me? I'm fat, which is very unbecoming on me and girls are always trying to "steal" him away from me. We bonded on a different level, he's my best friend, my partner in life. My point? Leagues mean nothing, its all about the heart! It's a little cheesy but... be the best you can be and all the good stuff will come
I'm a celebrity/tabloid junkie I compare myself to what I see on tv and in magazines-most of us do. The strange thing is....
Halle Berry's husband cheated on her. Repeatedly. Even though she's got a killer body and tons of money. It happens all the time, even to the people we think have it all.
I watched an interview with Beyonce on tv once (before Jay-Z) and she, like many other of our single icons, said she has a hard time getting a date. Not because of her looks, of course, but probably because people are intimidated by her status and her schedule. So many women who we idolize have that problem. Men won't approach them because they feel they are "out of their league", and fear rejection. It works both ways.
Besides, all of those people have the benefit of stylists and airbrushing. Anybody, even any of us "regular" people, can look 1000 times better in that situation than we do everyday.
I think sometimes we unknowingly, by shyness, attitude, body language, etc. sabotage ourselves in this department because of our self esteem. The whole no one can truly be able to love us until we can love ourselves is a corny old cliche, but it's true.
I think your avatar pic is gorgeous, girl! Self acceptance should feel good. Don't settle for what you think is in your league! Go ahead and go after a guy who you think will make you happy. What's the worst that could happen? Rejection? Even that can't possibly suck much more than feeling so unworthy of what you truly do deserve and settling for what you don't really want.
Whit, you are already gorgeous! and seriously, any guy who is so shallow that only wants a woman who looks like a celebrity is probably an *** hole! Being as beautiful as you are plus a good personality, you are set.
Thank you so much for all of your kind words. I agree with each of you ladies. Thank you for lifting my spirits, and helping me on the road to self-acceptance.
Hey whit, whit. It's early and I read your post. I didn't read all the comments yet but I just wanted to run in here to remind you that Beyonce and Haile are millionairres who spend thousands of dollars DAILY to make sure they look their best! They have make up artist and hair stylist, trainers, etc. They are no more beautiful than you or me. I am sure by now you seen the Dove commercial. That girls skin was nasty looking. Pimples everywhere!! Look how she turned out, on a billboard! And meanwhile women, average women even, better looking than her drive by and wonder why they don't have flawless skin. Well that girl doesn't either!! Quit comparing your self to the mags and the movies. They airbrush the heck out of mags!!
Also, when women that I think are uglier than me have boyfriends or husbands, it makes me sad. I wear nice clothes, makeup, and stylish hairstyles for myself, but when I see an ok looking woman with a man, it makes me just say screw it all! Damn. This sucks. It all makes me feel ugly. And then when I meet a nice, successful, attractive guy, I think deep down, "He would never really want me. He's out of my league." But I refuse to date men that are considered to be "in my league." So I just don't date.
Omigod, you are in my head! I swear I have the same thoughts every freakin day. One of my smug-married friends told me I need to lower my standards, but I think that if I did that I would just end up hating and resenting the men I dated. So I don't date either.
By the way girl, you are so gorgeous. That's a fab pic; I lust after those sunglasses!
Quote:
have you seen the new dove ad? check it out here
Wow, that was amazing. And I'm so awful, my first thought was, DA--yam! Where do I get that computer program? It would be kind of nice to see what my adult face looks like without the weight. I've never seen it.
I know this is bad...
