OMG, I should be the poster child for Over weight and out of the house! I had and still do stand up in front of the crowd and sing my @$$ off...(figuratively speaking of course lol) I did this when I was heavy, heavier and not as heavy. Hopefully I'll get to do it not heavy at all soon....BUT NOTHING will EVER stop me! Never once did anyone say anything to me. I wonder why not? All those drunks in the bars you'd think it an invite to MOO or something. Hmm...? Maybe I'll post an unflattering pic of me on stage.....
Oh believe me I know how you feel. My DH is in the military (and can eat anything he wants and still remain thin..trust me..he doesn't work out EVER) so we live on a military base..I feel too fat to workout at the base gym so I workout at home. I know when I have to go somewhere like a job interview or something no matter what I put on I just feel too fat. :-(
so I went out last night!!!
and I didn't get depressed! and I danced - and had a blast! And the scaryish man I stupidly gave my home number (I am leaving this home in a week) did call me today - though I did not answer it. Ok he wasn't that scary - but not my type - the kind I usually attract
Anyway - I went out after a partially bad evening out, where the guy I thought I liked was not liking me at that moment, and flooding another girl's attn - I guess when I didnt' like him I crushed him haha whatever that means - anyway I was all dressed up with no place to go and went out at 10:30 - meaning getting to a bar at 11 - which in LA is touch cause it closes at 2 - but we had FUN! and went to the beach afterwords.
bida - I've found "liking boys" to be way more fun than having "grown up"-style relationships.
Well, it looks like I'm a little late on this thread.. but I've often felt too gross to go out, but I guess my low self image doesn't override my desire to be around people. I've probably done the "I look stupid in everything" routine a hundred times, but I don't think I've ever not gone out because of it. For me, having cute clothes that fit (instead of cute clothes that will fit) really helps. Even if it is just one or two outfits, I like having a few safe things to wear that I don't feel self conscious in when I'm having an ugly-fat day.
So I work on a military base - with military people. They are all buff and in awesome shape. They're having a cookout tonight - a house warming party.
Ever have days where no matter what you put on you see every buldge and get so frustrated and feel so disgusted with yourself?? You look in the mirror and just want to cry?? That's where I'm at right now... So I've pretty much decided to not go out...
Has anyone ever not gone anywhere with friends because you felt that you looked too... i dunno - fat? to go out?
so i might just go to the gym for an hour and go to bed early...
does anyone else ever go through this???
I feel this way at least once a month. No, it has no relation to the monthly visit from the maid....I just feel too fat to be looked at. I don't want people to notice me, and feel as though I should be doing other things like, working my tail off in the gym rather than going out.
I have always been self conscious! My best friend used to tell me I was self absorbed and paranoid for assuming everyone was mocking me... but it's hard not to worry when you actually HEAR the comments. Looking back, I of course worried too much...
And then something happened this friday night. I was at a party with a bunch of old friends and I was in one of those moods where I kept pulling at the bottom of my shirt because I was afraid of exposing myself. As the night progressed, my girlfriend decided that she wanted to run through the streets of Boulder naked. She doesn't have the perfect body by any means, but she sure does love herself and is quite the free spirit (obviously). She actually started a naked jogging party (I didn't join in, but got some pictures for posterity ). Even though I wouldn't go so far as to have nekkid joggin' party, it made me realize that life is too short to be pulling at my shirt all night.
So I guess the moral of that ridiculous story is that I will not be wasting anymore time adjusting my shirt or sucking it in or making sure my roll isn't sticking out too much on the top of my pants. Half of your beauty is in how you work it.
I've felt like that many times.. i pretty much live in my sweats now. I dont bother to wear nice clothes because they all look bad on me and the fat just bulges out. I quit my job because of it and im dreading going back to school in september. Sorry I cant give advice, but i do know exactly how you feel. I'm sure you look better than you think you do though, the mind can play cruel tricks
For the most part, it didn't much bother me to go out with my friends (even though most of them are smaller than me). The first time it bothered me was back in April. We were at a bar & one of my friends saw someone she knew from high school. So that girl was sitting with us and she asked me if I was pregnant. I was mortified! First, who even asks that? How rude... Second, if I was pregnant, I would not be in a smoke-filled bar with a drink in my hand! *rolls eyes*
Anyhow...the others gave great advice. Don't be afraid to go out & have fun. Because life happens whether you're enjoying it or not. So you might as well have fun along the way.
So I work on a military base - with military people. They are all buff and in awesome shape. They're having a cookout tonight - a house warming party.
Ever have days where no matter what you put on you see every bulge and get so frustrated and feel so disgusted with yourself?? You look in the mirror and just want to cry?? That's where I'm at right now... So I've pretty much decided to not go out...
Has anyone ever not gone anywhere with friends because you felt that you looked too... i dunno - fat? to go out?
so i might just go to the gym for an hour and go to bed early...
does anyone else ever go through this???
GO OUT GIRL!!! I live in a military community (a pretty elite one at that), too. And I still have people over. I have had many days where I sit and look at myself bulge out of clothes and try and try and try to find something "decent" to wear. And a lot of the single guys have the hot little 19 y/o flat-as-a-pancake stomach gorgeous girlfriends. Not really who you want to be standing next to (being compared with?), but I go out and find that 99.9% of the people you are out with just want to have a good time and don't think to much about what you weigh... just if you want to party or not!!
I hate going to the lake with my boyfriend's family. All of his girl cousins are super skinny and insanely in shape and make me feel like such a blob. The worst is when they take pictures of us all together, I hate seeing the difference. I can't wait until I can strut around in a 2 piece swim suit too.
I was feeling the same way until recently... three things changed my view:
1.) I realized I was being too paranoid. For one, not as many people are judging me as hard as I judge myself... and those that do aren't worth my time anyways. I have friends/relatives who are bigger than me, but no one notices whatever bulges or flab or whatever because they're too busy focusing on the person's wonderful personality.
2.) On that same note... you can be be big and still look good... something else I've learned recently from other bigger girls. Instead of shopping with my super skinny mom who comments on my weight and picks out stuff that's more suited for her to try on, I went with some other not so skinny women my age and they showed me how to buy things that make me actually look good. It was actually sort of empowering... I learned how to accentuate the positive and hide the problem areas. And they showed me things I wouldn't normally have tried on and I ended up looking fabulous in them. Random people even said I looked hot when I wore one of the dresses to a special event. So yeah, that was a big confidence booster. For the first time in a long time, I felt genuinely beautiful... and I actually had the confidence enough to strut my stuff in front of hundreds of hoity toity size 0 beautiful people without any self doubts... it was awesome.
3.) My dad had to go in to have an angioplasty and they basically said he's probably going to have a heart attack eventually. His mother, father and brother died of heart disease... and his little sister has already had a heart attack. My dad has just started living his life... after years of working 16 hour days and being depressed when he wasn't at work, he's finally living his life and doing things that he enjoys... I want to live my life. If something happens to me, I want to know that I've done all the stuff I've wanted to do. That I've been a good friend to others. That I've had adventures and do amazing things. I want people to remember me as a happy person, if something happens to me, and I want to have happy memories of other people, if something should happen to them.
So in a few weeks I basically went from being a hermit for 7 years to going out and about town like a friggin social butterfly... which is a big deal because I was shy even before I was this big. But I had so much fun. And made new friends. And realized that it's all in my head, that people aren't sitting around basing their whole existence around making fun of me, that there are plenty of other not skinny people out there living life to the fullest and that I am indeed a beautiful person regardless of my weight. So goodbye to hermit elise and hello to the elise that actually lives, that makes memories, makes friends, that dances and has adventures while I still can.
I also went out, granted it was just a small town street dance, and I was usually dancing with my 3 year old niece BUT it was great to get out! Next weekend my kids will be at a babysitters----- the WHOLE weekend -----can't wait! Def need to make some plans
YES! I have gained about 40 of the 60 pounds I lost about 3yrs ago since then, I never want to see old friends and even now I hate to see my mom. I hate feeling like everyone is thinking "oh my god look how much weight she has gained back" most days if I didn't have to leave the house I wouldn't
bida - I've found "liking boys" to be way more fun than having "grown up"-style relationships. 
so i might just go to the gym for an hour and go to bed early... 
