OT: Going through dumb stuff...RANT
 

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oh honey :hug: i was just thinking about you, having a look at the exercise thread and wondering if you were ok.

as much as you might feel like you love him - get rid of him. i have been there and done that and given myself completely to a man who did not want what i wanted and at the end all i got was shame and humiliation and a broken heart. like you, it went on for about 2 years. however, despite my broken heart (which i still feel sometimes when i reminise) i am thankful for knowing him as i believe it has helped shaped me into the woman i am today, which i am proud of.

you are a strong, beautiful, intelligent woman and can move on from him and anyone else who is treating you with less respect than you deserve, as hard as it will be at first. get a strong support group around you (we are here!) and you can start to put your own well being before others. it will feel like you are being selfish at first, but you KNOW you have to do it.

its hard to convey everything i want to say on here. i hope it makes sense. pm me if you want to talk

dreamer, I have a friend that is going through this same type of thing. Its so hard, to be strong in this aituation. But I will tell you the same thing I tell her...if you see him romantically and he is not able to see you that way you need to move on. A one sided romantic relationship is just not worth the heartache. If he cannot see the wonderful girl you are and have no doubt in his mind that he wants to be with you...then he isn't the one you want anyway. Move on and find that man!!! People come to rely on their 'doormat' friends. The ones that are always there for them. But because you self sacrifice so much for everyone else they don't respect you or your time...you are THIER friend, THEIR time is YOUR time. Make some time for yourself...hun. No one is going to hate you for that.

Thanks ladies! You're absolutely right... Unfortunately, its just so hard! Hopefully I won't be distracted with it in the next couple of days while I get my life on track a little and do things for ME! Thanks for your responses! And just thanks for being here

Hi Dreamer, I know it's easier said than done, but I think you'd be a lot better off without this guy. Good luck. :hug:

Hey dreamer.

I have been in your shoes. Lets look at it from a different perspective. If you saw this guy on the street, he was treating his current "friend"/GF like crap, would you be attracted to him?...also think of it this way, HE KNOWS he is doing all this to you, HE KNOWS you still care for him, HE KNOWS his druken "i love yous" hurt...HE KNOWS! he is doing all this consciously TO YOU...if this was happening to you closest and best friend (or family memeber) what would you tell them...

When I was dealing with this, a friend said this all to me and then it click...I HAVE THE POWER to kick him to the curb and say NO MORE...if he doesn't want to respect you then he is not WORTHY of your respect in return...This is the time to STEP UP and PROVE to yourself that you are worth better.
Believe me its hard, but once you do it, you will feel soooo muc better about yourself (and other things begin to fall into place). And by kicking him to the curb you open youself up for someone to come into your life and care for you, I mean really really from the bottom of their soul care for you!!! Remember that!

You can do this!

My heart goes out to you, I have been in a situation very similar to this and I know how much it hurts to have your heart crushed into a million pieces and then on top of that to have the person that did it not give a damn. As hard as it is to probably hear this, you do not need him in your life. Love is a crazy thing.. it puts blinders on you so that you do things you would never normally do. Sometimes it is just not meant to be and love is not enough. I am a firm believer in everything happening for a reason. So later on down the road, you will realize why this happen the way it did and I guarantee you that you will be a much stronger woman because of it. You deserve a man that is going to admire and cherish you for who you are. If you have been neglecting yourself as you say you have, I think it is time that you put yourself as your number one priority. After I experienced a horrible break up similar to this, the only thing that kept me going at the time was focusing on other things(such as my health and mental state) and keeping busy. I look back now and I cannot believe I stayed with my ex for as long as I did... although I learned so much from that particular relationship that I have no regrets. Good luck sweetie! :hug:

Someone who doesnt value you as a friend doesnt deserve you.. Ditch him and forget him. You deserve a million times better than that hun!