[Actinide]

I added an introduction to the sticky topic, but thought I should also say hello here. So hello!

I also have a question.

Has anyone put off the start of a diet or other weight loss plan because they were embarassed? Before gaining weight, I'd never been too overly concerned with my appearance, and as such it almost seems like my friends and associates see weight loss as something "shallow" that I should be "above" caring about.

[LockItUp]

Welcome first of all. I have put off the start of a diet because I was embarassed to admit to myself I needed to lose weight. But I don't usually mention to people that I am dieting unless and until they ask. I wouldn't worry about to too much if I were you. Just focus on yourself. It's not shallow to want to be healthier at all. Even if your main motivation is for looks there are many many many other good side effects other than looking better. Your body is all you truly have in this world, there is absolutly nothing wrong with worrying about your body. I think that if you rise "above" that, you've lost reality!

You'll love it here at 3FC. Good luck with your weight loss journey, you will find tons of support here!

[mocha74]

Hmmmm...can't say that I've felt embarassed to lose weight. I dont know why losing weight would be shallow . News to me. I agree with Stephanie. Focus on yourself! I don't know why your friends/associates wouldn't be supportive, however make sure you surround yourself with those that are. It totally helps in your weightloss journey!!!

[crk05]

To answer your question, I was embarrassed to start dieting more because I refused for quite some time to admit that I needed to lose a bit of weight. Oh, and hesitant to give up all the and . I don't see dieting as "shallow" or superficial at all, and neither do most of the people I run into. As I see it, YES I will look a little nicer when I'm finished, but the important thing is that I'm making a healthy decision which will (knock on wood!) have positive long-term effects, both physical and emotional. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to take good care of yourself.

Best of luck to you!

[Actinide]

Thank you for all of the welcoming words.

It's kind of difficult to explain why they see it as shallow. I think it's mostly that I live in Los Angeles, and weight loss as a whole just seems to have gotten a bad name in this town because so many people here plainly abuse their bodies in order to be skinny and beautiful.

I think it's akin to some of the reactions people give when they find out I'm a Buddhist or that I practice yoga, and they immediately think of the stereotypical valley girl with an IQ of 40 who is into eastern religion because it's "just omigod like totally super exotic". If that makes sense?

All of that nonsense aside, though, I'm really happy that I found this community. Hopefully this time will be THE time.

[jillybean720]

Maybe if you focus on losing weight to be HEALTHY instead of to be SKINNY, it won't be so bad? At 160, I wouldn't think you're terribly "fat" looking, which is probably why people think it's "shallow" of you to try to lose weight, but maybe instead of telling them you're trying to lose weight, you could just say that you're trying to be healthier? Eating whole foods as opposed to processed will not only help you lose weight, but will clean you from the inside out! Maybe if you just push the health take on it a bit more than the weight or size, it won't seem so cliche? I've never even visited the West coast, so that's about all the advice I could muster since I've never had that same issue--for me, people were probably thinking, "My GOD, it's about time she did something to lose that weight!"

[PhysDom]

I can empathize with you... I don't want people to know that I'm dieting and watching what I eat and trying to be healthier b/c doing so kind of 'admits' that I'm not confident with myself, that I admit that I have physical flaws, etc. Especially for me, as a self-proclaimed feminist, it's a difficult position to admit that I care about how I look. It _shouldn't_ matter, right? (And for me, it's more appearance that I'm concerned with than health). So I feel that my admission of intentional weight loss is an admission of weakness.

Funny, b/c I **never** feel that way when I hear about someone -else's- new paths to health... but I feel embarassed that I got that way in the first place.
*scrunchie face*

An example of how realitites are distorted when applied to ones self, I suppose...

[Isla_Bonita115]

Firstly, I have taken a couple weeks off from this site myself due to the busyness of the holiday season, but I am back (and only 1 lb up as of yesterday...it will be gone in a few days ).

Secondly, I echo all of the other girls' when they say you shouldn't worry about whether your friends, family and/or acquaintances view your weight loss as superficial. You're doing this to make a better life for yourself and those that you love, and that's definitely not shallow. It's good to care about your health and how you look - it shows that you love yourself.

I am interested in Buddhism, and would like to become Buddhist eventually. I've never known a Buddhist before, so you are very interesting to me!

Thirdly, good luck w/ your weight loss journey and make sure to come on here if you are ever in need of support, encouragement, advice, info or praise! These girls (and guys) really are a wealth of information on exercise, nutrition, diet programs and just life in general.

[shrinkingchica]

If people judge you for your weight loss then they are the superficial ones. You need only take care of yourself and your body in the best way that you see fit.

[Pilatesgrl]

Hi,
I completely understand the feeling embarrassed about telling people you are trying to lose weight. I lived in a house with 4 other girls...one was (still is) very annorexic (we have all tried helping her- and she does not want help...) Another roomate is EXTREMELY thin, and has to get her thyroid checked, because she can't gain weight if her life depended on it...and weighs 105 on a good day, and hates how thin she is, another roomate who weighs about 110 and is just tiny- and another roomate with IBS who is thin because everything she eats goes right through her.
So I had onen roomate I DEFINITLY couldn't discuss weight loss with because of her annorexia, and the rest never wanted to hear about dieting because of the first roomate, and they were so tiny they just didn't understand...so I TOTALLY see where you are coming from.

It's so nice to have this site to have support from people with similar goals...good luck to all!!
Julie

[Actinide]

Jenn, if you're interested in Buddhism I have some fantastic online resources you might like.

[TBJ333]

Yeah, I agree with Stephanie, Christina, and PhysDom.

For a long time, I didn't mention to my hubby that I was changing my eating and excersise for the purpose of losing weight. The changes were just "to be healthier." Recently, I've admitted the real reason to him. He's been supportive.

The only other person who knows that I'm consciously trying to lose weight is the woman who clued me in on WW.

Mainly, I saw myself as a failure for having gained so much weight. People who hadn't seen me in a while always wore a look of pity on their faces. Fortunately, these people weren't crass enough to mention the topic. But I didn't want to mention it either, not even to myself.

There are so many people who care more about fashion than they do their health. And I'm not hating on people who want to lose weight to look good -- everybody here probably would agree that they don't mind looking better as they lose weight. Just that the fashion reason leads to so much obsession and competition. There are lots of stories on 3fc about friends and relatives who get all snarky when we lose weight. And we don't want to be that shallow.

So I agree with what you're saying. Maybe, think of your weight loss as a lifestyle change that includes a mental attitude that you're changing for healthy reasons. Then you can be alternative and subvert the dominant culture.

Good luck!