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-   -   Serious friend question! (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/20-somethings/29365-serious-friend-question.html)

Justlikeabirdie 07-15-2003 03:10 PM

Serious friend question!
 
Okay, I'm sure I'm not the only person going through something like this. PLEASE HELP!

Since April '02 I've lost 75 pounds, bringing me from 226-151. I still have 11 pounds to lose to get to goal. A good friend of mine has probably gained 50+ pounds since April '02 and constantly jokes that I lost it and it ended up on her. She comments constantly about her weight gain and my loss. It comes up in general conversation all the time. For instance, if I say to her "hey, what did you do today?" she will say "Oh, I went shopping... you know... at the FAT GIRLS store".

Now, this girl is a great friend. She is always one of the first people to comment on my weight loss and to tell me how good I am doing. From my experience, I can always tell when someone's jealous of my loss when they DON'T comment. And, she's always right there giving me positive feedback.

Anyway, to make a long post slightly shorter, I am going on a little trip with her this weekend. I don't plan on sticking too close to my diet, but I plan to eat/drink in moderation as to not backtrack too far. I'm worried about how it will look when I push food away or wake up early to do a little walking. She is roughly 100 pounds heavier than I am and I don't want my actions to make her feel bad about herself for not dieting/exercising. I do not pass judgement on her (I was in her situation not too long ago) and I don't want to hear her constantly bash herself. But, I don't know how to ask her to stop without being rude.

If anyone has gone something similar, please let me know how you deal. For those of you who haven't had to deal with this, please give me your opinons also!

Thank you in advance!

mocha74 07-16-2003 11:33 AM

Maybe during conversation you should say something in the line of "Wow I can't wait to go on the trip. I wonder if there will be places where I can walk to keep up my daily exercise routine? IF we find some good places to walk do you want to join me? It would be nice to have company." Okay maybe not in those exact words because it sounds kind of cheesy but hopefully you get what I mean.

Becca_charles 07-16-2003 04:42 PM

I think it's ovious that she wants to talk about it. I just know this. You don't bring something up ALL THE TIME and not want it to be a hint that you need talk about it.

I know you seem to not want to talk about it. but i think a friend would like to help out a friend. Just be blunt and ask if she'd like to know things that you did loose the weight.
Why don't you ask her if she'll join you on your walk in the morning ?

if that doesn't work though and she has no interest in trying to help herself i think you're gonna have to say look can we talk about other things? this bugs me. haha (i've done that b4)

Justlikeabirdie 07-17-2003 10:57 AM

Thanks for your input guys! I think that the situation definitely needs to be confronted to ensure for a relaxing and fun vacation! I appreciate that you took the time to respond.

Thanks! :)


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