And by me not posting the sad things people said or did to me, it's my heart trying to pretend they never happened. I would never ever be as cruel to anyone as some have been to me (and to you all).
These break my heart, people can be so awful. I can honestly say I never really had these things happen to me. I've had a couple thoughtless comments but nothing really mean honestly more just annoying.
The only person who has said anything to my face is my mom. I'm sure other people talked about my weight behind my back, but it never bothered me much. I'm aware that I am a little bit chubby. That doesn't mean I'm unhealthy. I am strong and have good stamina. I can do more physical activity than many tiny "healthy" girls I know. I'm losing weight for myself, not them. I want to be able to wear what I like and look good in it, as well as avoid future health conditions.
I'm very bottom heavy. I do have a somewhat big chest, but I carry my weight in my butt and thighs. At only like 140 pounds, I've been made fun of for my weight. In high school when I was 138 - not big at all, the fattest kid in school hated me since I was dating his friend and his friend was spending more time with me. He would insult my weight ALL THE TIME since I wore a size 11 while most girls wore size 4-7 then. That one sucked since he would do it in front of a group of people.... never his friend though since he knew he would have lost it.
Reading this is oddly cathartic. Its just comforting to know Im not alone.
When I was in high school, the cheerleading captain (a girl I didn't know personally) stopped me while I was walking in the hallway to tell me I looked like "Mrs. Piggy" in front of all her friends. She then proceeded to make "oink, oink" noises. I was mortified, and it was all I could do to walk away. I was over 200 lbs at the time.
Two years later, at 140 lbs, I was walking home with my girlfriends after a party when a bunch of frat boys ran up to us to call us "fat tranys." Again, at 5'6" I weighed 140 lbs.
What I learned: 1. I won't ever be able to please everyone's expectation of "not fat." 2. Opinions uttered by tactless, insipid individuals whom exemplify a scathing indictment of the American education system are the least of my concern.
I don't recall any strangers being particularly rude to me, or if they did I have blocked it from my memory. My MIL on the other hand... when my BF were early in the relationship, we were over for dinner and said that she liked my top. I told her I got it at wal-mart and without skipping a beat she said "Only fat people shop at wal-mart" My jaw dropped, and I just kind of sat there stunned. She is 5'2 and weighs maybe 120 lbs soaking wet. I will never forget that comment.
Once at a punk show, some guy came up and asked my friend when she was due. Shes 6" tall, lovely and totally stylish but has some pooch that she has never really been able to get rid of, after much hard work. (OH and she had a drink in her hand too!!) She immediately burst into tears and was off to the bathroom to bawl. Later we found the guy standing on the outside of the mosh pit. We each tossed our drinks on him and shoved him into the middle of the pit (then ran away giggling...) Not really the mature route, but boy it made her feel better.
People are very rude sometimes. When I was 12 I had a was play fighting with a boy and I accidentally hurt him and he yelled at me "Go me another piece of pie, fatty!" .... I think the saddest thing is that I don't even like pie
When I was in highschool, I never had anybody say anything mean to me, but people would make comments to my sister ALL the time. She's always been a bigger person and I NEVER liked when people would make fun of other people, it just put me off. People would say such horrible things about earthquakes, how everyone should put their food away if they wanted to keep it, etc. The funny thing is she's really not even that big. She lost some weight doing HCG drops? And playing Wii fitness! And honestly, she carries herself so well.
But for me, there were two instances. The first was a couple years ago on Facebook - yes the dreaded social network. I got a friend request from somebody that went to my high school. I didn't recognize them for the life of me but that tended to happen to me. People would request me and I'd be like who is this person?? Then upon looking at their pictures I was like ohhhh that's who that is. We had TONS of mutual friends in common so I was like I have to know this person. I accepted them but never figured out where I knew them from, the picture didn't even look familiar to me. But I could care less about Facebook at that time so I was like whatever. So one day I was meeting a friend for lunch before work and I had a status that was something along the lines of "call me whatever you want, you don't matter to me" and this person commented on it and said "well how about I called you a fat *****" - and then it hit me that I didn't really know this person because it takes GUTS to write that on somebodies FB. I commented back with "excuse me" and all my friends chimed in and was who the **** are you and blah blah blah - I even PMed them and was like "seriously I don't know who you are or why you are doing this to me but you have no idea what your talking about blah blah blah" and they took our conversation and posted it on Facebook. I later started seeing some of our "mutual" friends talking about this person and I realized the whole account was fake and I eventually found out who did it. I never understood why they did it but this past summer I actually saw this person in a deli when I was picking up lunch for my co workers and when he saw me his mouth dropped and of course the whole "Wow Jamie you look so good" comment came out and I basically through up the middle finger to him and left. He knew what he did, and it was enough satisfaction for me. I hope he never stoops as low as that again because it seriously tore me up for a long time but I realized jerks will be jerks. I thought it was funny coming from him too because he was huge his whole life and then he lost weight. So I never got why he would do that when he knows how it was.
The only other time was when I went for a run with one of my friends and as we were crossing the street a group of guys screamed out of the window "keep running fatty, you need it" At first I was like "are they talking to me" and then I looked around and was like wowwww how shallow!!! I don't understand how people can be so mean to complete strangers. It boggles my mind.
Last edited by celigirl88; 03-14-2013 at 01:46 PM.
these break my heart!
I think comments from strangers are easier to deal with I never got comments from strangers but my sister would tell me - without fail - every single day "you are a fat pig, gross just look at yourself" I tried to ignore it but after 10 years I had enough, my mom would constantly tell me not to wear a swimming costume in public and I remember one day my dad was taking me to school and I was packing a lunch and he screamed at me to hurry up saying "just leave the food - you can do with skipping a few meals"
After a wile it gets too much for your heart to bare so I did something about it.
To date my family have not commented on my healthy eating behaviours (except to say "are you going to become anorexic now?") or weight loss - and I think that breaks my heart more than the comments!
Ugh I was asked out today by an older 35-something, but handsome gentleman. He was very pushy and it made me feel uncomfortable so I declined the offer. He then went irate on me and told me that fat women are always angry and that I needed to eat more tacos. He then proceeded to text me 2 of his previous girlfriends who he said "obviously eats less tacos" than me. I have been horrified ever since. I have been so proud of my progress and today I felt like complete trash. I still keep crying.
I was so proud that I was able to put on my old cheerleader shorts today, too.
I got mooed at. I have never been mooed at in my life. I was always a thin person, but then gained a lot of weight. I'm back to being thin again except my belly. And then last October I was mooed at again by a guy I know and I felt like crap because I am a very active person, and I eat healthy. I thought that maybe my belly just wasn't going to go anywhere despite that. And then I just found out that I have a six pound ovarian cyst. He felt like crap when he found that out. So at least I know he does have some empathy.
When I was about 6 my babysitter said I looked "pregnant" and continued to make fun of me for the rest of the night. Not only did this confuse me and make me feel sick (for some reason, I was a sensitive kid!), but it started, from a young age, the awareness of my weight. I wasn't fat at that point, but once puberty came around all the girls were tiny thin things and I was nice and squishy. I struggled internally throughout highschool, wearing a size 9 instead of a 2. No one ever said much to me, but it was still sad to go shopping and they're all at the same rack and I'm at the other end of the store alone.
The worst thing that hurt me about my weight was my ex. When he and I dated, I didn't think I was that bad. But I look back at pictures and Im totally in shock. I don't know what I weighed but it was getting worse than I thought. I was completely enamored, and so was he for a while. Out of the blue, he just stopped calling me (we dated for 2+ yrs). I had to bust into his house and demand an explanation. You know what I got? "I want to experience 'other body types'" or something like that. He was a yoga instructor and in pristine shape, and I was always a little insecure about the 6ft, 100lb girls taking his classes. So him saying that was basically confirming my insecurities.
It took a long time to get over him and over the hurt. I felt discarded and dishonored. But you know, I am f****** awesome!! So screw that. I decided then that I would begin losing weight and start feeling good. I'm doing it for me. But how awesome would it be to see him and be super fit!?? I'm completely over him now, living with my superbly supportive love of my life, and would love to just 'bump into' this guy sometime and give him a huge middle finger!
My SO and I have been together for a long time - he always tells me he loves me just the way I am - that I should "enjoy life" and eat anything I want to and not deprive myself. That he loves me no matter what. But when we get into heated arguments (which doesn't h=appen often) -- then I get called a cow or a disgusting fat c*nt.
I've asked him to leave but he won't - because I always get the "I'm so sorry" stories afterward, and he "can't live without me"........... Unfortunately, legally I can't just pack his bags for him - I have to go through the court process which takes quite a bit of time -- I have to have him served with a notice to vacate -- which gives him until 4/30, then I have to have a formal Complaint served on him, then we have to wait for a hearing date -- it will probably run into August or September before that happens. Then once I get a Judgment, if he still won't leave voluntarily, I have to pay a constable and hire a moving company and get his belongings put into a storage unit that I would have to pay three months rental fee for -- then the constable would remove him and I could change the locks. Lots of time and money!!
During our arguments he tells me he can't wait to leave, but won't go unless I buy him a motorcycle (he doesn't even have a driver's license) and I have to find him an apartment and pay the first and last month's rent and security deposit.
Ladies -- don't let anyone move in with you until you are absolutely positive, positive, positive you have a good solid relationship together. I so look forward to getting him out!
Wow - I certainly went OT !! Sorry - I had to get it off my chest!
Girl I know the feeling there. My (ex) boyfriend was abusuve and I had enough when it escalated to him throwing me though a door. I called the cops and could have had him arrested, etc, but I was told he couldn't just be kicked out since he had set up residency. >.< People don't realize why some women stay with a ridiculous guy. It's normally because bills and the home is tied up with that person. Good luck to you!