[BreathingSpace]

Originally Posted by Kelli21

I'm all worried now because I threatened him once, a month ago, via text message and his mom said they were going to use it against me. The threat? He said he was going to start sleeping around in my home, in my bed if we broke up. I said I would beat any woman he brought into my home. Obviously I wouldn't and couldn't, but I still said it. He and his mother are both manipulators that have all these people believing I'm this crazy psycho who abuses him, when that isn't the case.

I just want this to be over so I can move on with my life to bigger and better things.

Just remember, when you are feeling like the above, remind yourself that him (and his mother) are MASTERS of manipulation, and the fear that you have is just their voice whispering in the back of your head. It doesn't mean it's true.

I know, I've been there.

I would encourage you to also journal through this time. I found that once I started writing things down about my feelings I was so acutely aware of his voice in my head whispering and making fun of me that I began to feel FREE of him because I realized he was full of sh*t. That what I was writing on paper were my own thoughts, true and free and beautiful, and the only thing he could do was pathetically whisper in the back of my brain. It was actually very therapeutic and something that doesn't cost a cent and you can do on your own right now.

You have done a HUGE HUGE HUGE thing, many people do not have the strength to go through with what you did.

You are free now, remember that. And I don't mean just physically, I mean free in spirit and in your heart to live in pure truth from now forward. Just keep repeating that to yourself.

[Bex1984]

What kind of judge says you didn't file in time?!?!?! It can takes years of abuse before you get the nerve to report it!!!

[summerkate83]

Make sure you tell your lawyer about that one threatening text message, and anything else he might try to say/use against you. Whether it's true or not, if you think he's going to say something about you, it's important for your lawyer to know that. They may be able to prevent it in a way that sounds less severe, etc.

[Missy Krissy]

Originally Posted by Bex1984

What kind of judge says you didn't file in time?!?!?! It can takes years of abuse before you get the nerve to report it!!!

Before becoming a SAHM my job required me to attend family court and sometimes testify. What you say is true, it can take years of abuse before getting the courage, but for every person who has a legitimate reason for needing a protective order (the way OP does), there's another who is abusing the justice system to get back at or hurt someone else, often their ex. Sad but true. I've seen it firsthand.

I think that the judge is right to want to hear his side of things and gather evidence. It sounds like he is just trying to do his job correctly and make a fair ruling.

Good advice has been given: document EVERYTHING. Get any police reports, hospital records, lease agreements, absolutely anything. You made a very smart decision getting in touch with the women's group, they are a great resource. Don't worry about that text message, you didn't threaten him and any judge with half a brain looking at it in it's original context would see it for what it is - your ex trying to get a rise out of you. If I were you I would make sure I have the records of that entire text conversation so that you can put it into context if need be. When in court keep your cool and don't let your ex provoke you or make you feel as though you're somehow in the wrong - the judge will see the truth of the matter.

Good for you for getting away from this jerk, you deserve better. As a human being you deserve a loving relationship with someone who treats you with respect.

[LiLLy19]

Just wanted to say that you did the right thing by getting out of that relationship! Good luck on the court proceedings ahead..hope he's out of your life for good.