So I wasn't always obese, I was about 160-175 lbs all throughout highschool and it didn't really bother me, even though I wanted to be 130 very badly.

I was just spending so much time partying it didn't matter. I was chubbier and I didn't get to show off my stomach, but otherwise I wasn't in bad shape.

I recently reconnected with some one from a long time ago and we're meeting up today after work. I mentioned in passing I had gained some weight since we'd last met, but not in a depressed low-self esteem type way, just a fact. Anyways, it was over Facebook so he can see my pictures and stuff.

But I hate this feeling like I'm the cute girl from highschool who got fat. He used to have a crush on me and I kinda liked him too, but meeting up again and being so much bigger makes me anxious. I doubt he cares, and it isn't a date, but it's just a big fat reminder of how I used to be a normal weight and now I'm big.

I have been working through my issues with food, trying to get past my binging and stuff. I started yoga, which I love, and meditation and things that were making me feel really good in my skin. I was at a point where I knew it was going to take some time to get my eating straightened out and that I didn't have to lose it all right now.

I guess I am just ashamed to have gained so much weight. /sigh

I am trying to stay positive and just go meet him and do something fun. I'm not a sad or boring person or anything, so I don't know why I worry.

Well presumably, especially as he can see what you look like on facebook, he likes you for your personality and spirit. I know that sounds corny but that is often the basis of caring about someone. Just be as fun and nice as you were in high school and he will enjoy your company and be glad he met up with you. Your appearance won't be a shock to him because he already knows what you look like now. So go and enjoy yourself!

He's seen your pictures over facebook, and you guys are still meeting...Don't freat about the weight gain. Be yourself. Dont worry. Have fun and catch up If it bothered him, he would not be making the effort to see you...

Let us know how it goes

Aw, thanks you guys.

I already feel better.

I think I worry myself to bits, even when it's not necessary. I should just hang out with him and see what happens. Besides, I have finals this week and the last thing I need is to break down about gaining weight since highschool. It's so silly. I'm overweight and there's nothing I can do right this second to fix it, so I should just be myself and put my energy into finals.

Thanks!!

That's a great attitude! My sister once asked me what I would do if I woke up and I weighed 600 pounds. I said I would try and stay positive, make the best of it and lose weight day by day as there is no point getting stressed over something you can't change very fast. You may be overweight but as you said, all you can do is keep going with your weight loss plans and believe that people like you for more than what weight you are anyway so you can have a great life in the meantime.

Honestly we are our own worst critic, so anything we think is bound to be loads worse than what other people think. Stay strong and have fun! Hugs!

I'm saving this response. I think it's so wise and so true. I often stress about things that will take time to change, wanting them changed yesterday and you're right, it's pointless. The best we can do is keep going and keep working on ourselves and doing our best. External factors like other people's reactions are beyond our control.

That's entirely the wrong way to look at it. You're not the cute girl that got fat, you're the beautiful woman who happened to gain a few pounds with your life experience, and is only going to get sexier from here because you've already committed yourself to making healthy lifestyle changes. I certainly know a few girls much bigger than I am that can sexy the socks off of me just because they have awesome outgoing and confident personalities. Like you said, your friend can see your facebook pictures...if he had an issue with your weight, he would have made an excuse to get out of meeting up with you. Concentrate on your finals, then try not to freak out about meeting your friend...I'm sure you'll both have a great time if you can relax.

Well, we ended up putting off our meeting until next week anyways, when we will both have some extra money.

So now I have one more week to worry about it.

Just kidding. He and I have many similar interests and I am not really worried anymore. And, as we've said, there is nothing I can do about it right this second so I might as well let loose and do what I do best! Which is laugh, and laugh a lot.

Thank you all for the helpful words.

you are a credit to yourself for thinking soo positively...keep it up hun!!...yes i knows what you mean..i almost always make a mountain out of a mole hill and then when it comes to the crunch it is never as bad as i made out it will be...and you will find this too!!...i hope you both have a wonderful time!!...cheers liz

Beauty can fade with time. Cute is eternal in one form or another. Think about the Cute little old ladies. Since you were cute then you are cute now. No worries! I know that is easier said than done but think about it. The traits that normally make a person "Cute" to begin with don't normally change too much with time or weight.

So what if you gained weight? You have gained experience, memories and clarity on your life you didn't have then. Most importantly, you are focused on improving you because YOU want too. Chances are anyone worth knowing from the old days will respect all these changes that you have made for your future days.

Good luck this week and next with both the meetings and the finals!

I'm right there with you girl. I too was the "cute" girl in high school who has gained weight since. But...my true friends have stayed with me...and my true friends have tried to reconnect with me, no matter what I look like. It's cheesy but true....who needs the rest of em? And I'm having finals this coming week too....Good Luck and Study Hard!

I wanted to let everyone know that it went super well!

I have some hickies to prove it, lol. I just was getting myself so stressed for absolutely no reason. I don't know what I was afraid would happen, but nothing exploded and I am still alive...

Thanks for the support everyone!