eating disorder..
 

Hey everyone. I just needed to voice this, because if this is happening to me, it's probably happening to someone else too.

I think eating disorders come in many sizes. And I think I developed one very young. In a binge-ing way. And I started to take control of my eating habits I was happier and I lost 30pounds. But then school happened and my stess started and I started bingeing again. And gained 10 pounds back.

But then school slowed down a bit and I got balance and I lost 11 pounds. but now, I am feeling the stress. and twice today I binged and twice today, I purged. That is scarier than anything. I have never done that before.

I do not want to go down that road. It is terrifying to think, that it could turn into bulimia. I honestly don't know any other way to deal with stress. It's kind of freaking me out. No good.

You're absolutely right- EDs come in all shapes and sizes and can absolutely be triggered by stress.

something-fishy.org is a great resource for ED support. Also, does your school have a counseling center were you could talk to someone? Sometimes just finding healthy outlets (like talk therapy) for anxiety and stress can work wonders.

Try reading Food: The Good Girl's Drug. I've battled with the binge aspect of it all and found this book very helpful.

I actually wrote a whole blog post on eating disorders and various sizes and my own struggle with it. You are not alone.

I've sort of taken the bulls by the horn and been working on the inside issues of why I feel the need to binge, why I get so OCD about it all and working on those. I'm learning to trust my body and hope for the best. I battle daily with this and I also battle with the scale - in a weigh in/don't weigh in sense because once I weigh in once I will weigh in easily 25 times that day.

:hug: Hang in there.

I am dealing with a binging disorder and I know that as soon as I get stressed it is a thousand times harder to control. I have just come to terms that I have a problem with food and that I will never have a normal relationship with it.

I have read many sites online that have really helped me understand but I have to look inside myself and figure out why I feel the need to eat until I am sick. Maybe it would be a good idea to look into some sort of counseling for yourself?

It is a constant battle to keep myself from binging or obsessing over food. Just getting plugin away girl, we can do this!

I DEFINITELY can relate to this. I'd put myself in the binging ED related category. It's pretty amazing how related my binges are to stress and anxiety. I can always always link the two, to the point where sometimes the binges happen before I even realize I'm feeling stressed or anxious. Not sure if that makes sense, but I think the next step in my healthy lifestyle change is going to be to get to know my own emotions better. Hopefully that'll help with the binging!


anyways, we're not alone, ladies!

It helps me to look at all the things purging will eventually do to you.

When I was younger I purged quite a lot for a few months, but was also counting calories and eventually lost weight. You could say I lost the weight before it turned into a real ED, with all the mental issues and what-not. EDs tend to rarely be about weight loss. It's usually about something deeper, mentally.

But I just see it as a slow suicide. I suggest you start journaling, meditating, take a hot bath, take a look at some of the way bulimia eventually kills it's victims. Be careful of internet support sites for anorexia and bulimia, because they usually are full of girls who still have the ED are not looking for help. I suggest finding that place in you that believes you can have peace. It doesn't have to be religious or anything.

I one read something that really helps me during stress. It goes something like this.

Stressed?
Can you do anything about it?
-No> Then why worry?
-Yes> Then why worry?

It was actually a picture when I saw it, but I always remember it now when I feel the stress building up.