For most of my life, I have been chubby if not outright fat. Since I was a little girl I dreamed of being thin and ergo pretty. In high school I attributed boys I liked not liking me back because I was fat (even though, looking back, I wasn't).
This brings me to my point. Lots of women, whether they admit to it or not, are here to transform into the proverbial butterfly. To be thin and ergo pretty and finally become everything they dreamed of being and maybe finally being liked back by the latest incarnation of that high school boy who ey lusted over. I am not downplaying the importance of health in our journeys, it is super important, in fact, this post kind of supports getting to a healthy weight because of just that, because it's healthy.
I realized today that there are many average weight girls who aren't pretty. And I'm going to be one of them. Losing my 70lbs won't turn me into a gorgeous woman, it'll just turn me into a smaller, leaner version of me. I won't magically become an amazingly gorgeous woman. I wasn't in high school when I was thin, and I won't be now as a 24 year old adult either. I may gain the ability to dress myself better and more fashionably, but it won't change my facial structure or my skin (too much) or my voice or teeth.
So I've committed to being healthy instead. It's far more realistic to hope for being fitter and able to do more than to hope for being a knock out.
Apologies for the bleak post, I'm a little bit depressed, but also enlightened, today.
Everyone is going to respond to your post reassuring you that you are pretty. I would do that too, but I think there's much more to life than being pretty, and I don't buy into the notion that being "pretty" is the absolute best thing a woman can be. I also think "pretty" is an entirely subjective matter and everybody is pretty to somebody, so nyahhhhhhhh. :P
Ack >.> I'm not fishing for compliments! I will add a caveat that I don't think I'm ugly either, even now. I'm just average! This post is about priority shifts, not the relative attractiveness of my mug.
I know you're not! But that's just how a lot of women operate, our nurturing side or whatever kicks in.
It really is tpugh not to put all your eggs in the "When I'm at goal" basket sometimes, the hardest part of it is often finding you're still the same exact person once you lose the weight. I do think "being able to do stuff" is its own (and the absolute best) reward of weight loss but it's disappointing when you don't come out looking how you thought you would 20, 50, 100, 200 lbs ago.
Pretty is such a general term! I'm not saying this "just to be nice" but when I look at your pic - I think you're VERY pretty (unless that's not you?). So who's definition are you going by? And I'm not saying that to be mean either, but geez - you're adorable!!!
I know that I will always be able to find something I don't particularly care for in my appearance. If it wasn't my weight, it'd be my nose, if it wasnt my nose, it'd be my hair, etc. etc.
We always want what we can't/don't have, but ultimately, at the end of the day, I'm more than my reflection in the mirror....and I like me. That's all that ultimately matters.
beauty is a funny thing.... my daughter said to me when she was in High School (she is 28 now), "mom, why are all my friends so beautiful?" and I responded "because they are your friends and you know how kind and thoughtful they are"
Fattitude is right. If you're going by appearance alone, there is always going to be something else you don't like. Weight loss is not a cure all for self esteem. OP I think you're absolutely correct that these lifestyle changes have to be made for all the right reasons, or what do you learn?
Also, I'm a Saskatoon girl myself, born and raised. Woop woop!
Hmm... pretty is an interesting word. I came to have a revelation the other day about "why am i not pretty and others are". This is the answer i came up with: I think some people in this world, were born beautiful..No matter what they do or what kind of bad hair day they have, they will always wake up looking beautiful. They are the kind of people that everyone wants to look like or strive to be but will never attain..so how come i cant be that person? Well here is a thought: Perhaps if you were "beautiful or pretty", you wouldnt fullfill your own destiny or purpose in life. For example: A paramedic is not beautiful, but they save lives.They need to be strong and tough and they face risky things every single day. They dress in a not so flattering uniform and yet at the end of the day, they can say " i saved a life". If that paramedic women was beautiful all her life, perhaps she wouldnt have fullfilled her destiny of becomming a paramedic.. Perhaps, instead, she would have become a model on a runway or an actress and at the end of the day she wouldnt say "i saved a life". Im not suggesting that being an actress or a model is bad or not fulfilling, but rather..that sometimes if we always got what we wanted in life..to be pretty or thin..perhaps we wouldnt accomplish that which we really want to do with our life.. On the flip side..look at people who become Miss America and can make a stand for people and can represent .......Fill in the blank...Or look at the gracefull ballet dancer that shows poise and beauty...If there was no beauty in anyone, we would never be able to admire it. Each person is made with a destiny and we are all made individually the way we are..Perhaps i wasnt meant to be Pretty or beautiful by the worlds standards..however.. i know i was built with more muscle and more of a guys physique type body ..but that makes me look strong and courageous...My itty bitty teeny weeny friends who are girls, hide behind me when i walk down the street at night time in downtown, because they are afraid that they will be taken advantage of by a guy on the street..I walk down full of confidence..knowing that i dont look like i can be easily taken advantage of and i look strong and im not what the average guy is looking to get with..so i dont worry...See my point?
You are you for a reason, made to look a certain way. Every single thing about you is intricitly woven to make up who you are for a reason. So yes..we may not be "beautiful or pretty" by the worlds standards, or even by the classmate we want to look like..BUT..we are still just as worthy of love and attention and admiration and compliments. I would like to say that i also believe there is beauty in everyone..Sometimes its just hidden..and other times its so unique that we truly have to look harder just to grasp a glimpse of it.
First things first: 1) agree with krampus, much more to life than being pretty; 2) learning to love yourself for you is important and will go a long way toward your own happiness.
However, for what it's worth, I'm a gal with an average to below-average face. At 168 lbs, I received very little attention; at 120, I get tons of it. (I dressed relatively modestly at both weights, have a wedding ring, and consider this attention unwelcome!) My personal experience has been that being thin alone is an attention-getter.
I don't think most people in here are losing weight solely to "be pretty"
We do know that we're not going to look like Angelina Jolie just because we get down to our goal weight
Have you ever seen Mean Girls? I always think about that scene where they're looking in the mirror talking about all the things wrong with them.
My thin normal weight friends want to lose 15lbs, my friends with curly hair want straight hair and my friends with straight hair want curly hair. People who are too pale want to be tan, people who're very short want to be tall, people who are too tall want to be shorter...
I could go on.
Krampus is right, as usual! There's so much more to life than 'pretty'? Also, who gets to say what pretty is? I'm pretty. Not to everyone and there's no way I ever could be pretty to everyone. Pick any actress you think is absolutely gorgeous and you'll find people who don't care for them. Pick an actress you think isn't pretty and you'll find people who think they're angels. Same goes for male actors.
So don't worry about being 'pretty' to someone else's standards. Love yourself. Love your hair for still being on your head, love your eyes for seeing the things you enjoy, love your ears for listening to the world around them, love your legs for carrying you everywhere you go, love your waist for harboring your most precious organs, love your shape for making you who you are, love yourself. Seriously. You only get one body in this life.
I could go on. I came to terms with a lot and still experience self-esteem issues, but I'm a healthy 21 year old with nothing to complain about! Yeah there's 100lbs of extra fat hanging onto me but having that fat and, hopefully, losing that fat is going to be part of who I am.
For most of my life, I have been chubby if not outright fat. Since I was a little girl I dreamed of being thin and ergo pretty. In high school I attributed boys I liked not liking me back because I was fat (even though, looking back, I wasn't).
This brings me to my point. Lots of women, whether they admit to it or not, are here to transform into the proverbial butterfly. To be thin and ergo pretty and finally become everything they dreamed of being and maybe finally being liked back by the latest incarnation of that high school boy who ey lusted over. I am not downplaying the importance of health in our journeys, it is super important, in fact, this post kind of supports getting to a healthy weight because of just that, because it's healthy.
I realized today that there are many average weight girls who aren't pretty. And I'm going to be one of them. Losing my 70lbs won't turn me into a gorgeous woman, it'll just turn me into a smaller, leaner version of me. I won't magically become an amazingly gorgeous woman. I wasn't in high school when I was thin, and I won't be now as a 24 year old adult either. I may gain the ability to dress myself better and more fashionably, but it won't change my facial structure or my skin (too much) or my voice or teeth.
So I've committed to being healthy instead. It's far more realistic to hope for being fitter and able to do more than to hope for being a knock out.
Apologies for the bleak post, I'm a little bit depressed, but also enlightened, today.
You are gorgeous. Don't call yourself average. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Even the people considered the most beautiful people in Hollywood are called ugly by someone. Even fashion models have looks that would not be considered the idea of conventional beauty but each is beautiful in their own right. I am a member of other forums and sometimes the guys will post a picture of their ideal beauty and some guys will respond saying she isn't pretty. So beauty truly is in eye of the beholder. You should just appreciate how unique and beautiful you are and just be you. Rock the clothes you love, hairstyles that make u happy and smile.
I know to some people I might be beautiful and to others ugly but I'm fine with what because that's the way the world is. I'm also originally not from the United States and have seen that beauty ideals are different in different countries. Someone might be ideal in one but not in another. It took me a long to come to loving myself but I finally got it. The external worlds thoughts used to matter to me but now it no longer does its what inside that counts most of all I know I sound cheesy.
No matter what, you are what you think you are. Those girls that you think are beautiful are probably insecure as well. I agree that you should work on being healthy, but you also need to concentrate on seeing the beauty in yourself.
I find confidence to be a major factor in "beauty"...and we all think that losing the weight will bring that out. However, we carry our issues with us regardless of size.
Let's talk about pretty - warning, depressing.
