Demoralizing Setback
 

This seemed like the place to come to talk about this. Yesterday, I was walking to the park in my sweatpants and a t-shirt for my daily jog. About halfway there, a car full of guys drove past me, and one of them stuck his head of the window and shouted something at me like, "Look at her! Look at that fat a**!" and everyone in the car was laughing.

I know those guys are jerks, and I shouldn't let this get to me. This certainly isn't the first time something like this has happened to me. I think every obese person has had the misfortune of experiencing this at some point in their lives. The way that people will put others down for no reason than their own entertainment will never make sense to me (or any other decent human being, I'd imagine).

The thing that got to me is that I am self-conscious about working out in front of people. In the back of my mind, I imagine that people are thinking...pretty much exactly what that guy said to me. I ended up jogging half of my usual route and then walking back home (taking a different route).

I'm so sorry this happened to you :( I think 99% of people wouldn't think that at all, my DBF is slim and always has been, naturally, and when I expressed my fear of walking/running outside due to people taunting me, he thought I was crazy. He said if he noticed a bigger person walking or running, he either wouldnt think anything, or be impressed that they were working on getting healthier. Stupid people are stupid, and again, I'm so sorry!

i'm sorry that happened to you :(

i'm also super self conscious of how i look while working out, and i've spoken to a few thin/in shape/athletic folks about my insecurity, and they all came out with the same answer: when they see someone who has weight to lose exercise and give it a shot, they're reaction is positive, like "awesome, she's/he's getting to a healthier place".

i think those guys need to get a freaking life. who the **** yells out of a car like that??? keep it up hun, and always have a good comeback ;)

Originally Posted by Cheece:
I'm so sorry this happened to you :( I think 99% of people wouldn't think that at all, my DBF is slim and always has been, naturally, and when I expressed my fear of walking/running outside due to people taunting me, he thought I was crazy. He said if he noticed a bigger person walking or running, he either wouldnt think anything, or be impressed that they were working on getting healthier. Stupid people are stupid, and again, I'm so sorry!

i think we posted at the same time!

Originally Posted by fillupthesky:
i think we posted at the same time!

Lol! Great minds and all that :D

Don't let the morons get you down! As the others said, I believe most people are thinking "Good for you - I ought to be out getting in shape too!" You are doing a fantastic thing for yourself, keep it up. :)

Just remember YOU CAN lose weight, but those morons will always be LOSERS!

I actually feel sorry for people like that... Just think how miserable and pathetic their lives must be that they drive around aimlessly "amusing" themselves by yelling childish insults out of the window of a car... I think people like that must have such deep seated feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness, that the only way they can "feel" even the slightest bit better about themselves is by attempting to bring others down... how sad...

I hope this helps.... But I know when people try to pull this kind of crap with me, my first reaction is that I want to DESTROY them! But I know that I'm better than that.... and I put that CRAP right back where it belongs.... Back on THEM!

The most important thing I can do for myself in a situation like that, IS NOT to internalize that HATE! because that hate is on THEM, not on me...

I remember that when I started to jog I covered myself with layers of clothes, fearful of what I looked like and of that kind of situation. When I started to get proud of my fitness, I also felt proud of my shape, no matter how roundish I could look to others. Now, when I see somebody heavier than me jogging, I admire that person. I wish I had been able to jog when heavier, and that I had been confident enough not to wear lots of clothes.
Kudos for your jogging, for your resilience, for your strength! Don't harbour ill feelings towards these guys... They are ignorant, stupid, and insecure. They need to abuse others to feel better than somebody else...
Go jogging again, usual route, and feel proud of what you are doing!

Ahhh yes, I've been through this. It sucks so much.

I also had a touch of it last night, though not as blatant. I went to the gym to swim and there was a girl there that was also swimming with an "Atlanta Triathlon Club" swim cap so I asked her about the club since I do triathlons and didn't realize Atlanta had a club. I was really excited and her response was, "You could come watch and try a practice with us to see 'if you can keep up' with us." Such a blow. So rude. In my head I was like, "B*tch, I do triathlons already. I've done three this year. STFU." Instead I said, "Oh ok, thanks." Today? I'm looking into the club.

I'm usually the biggest girl at the triathlons, but you know what? I dont give a F because at least I'm out there.

Yesterday? You were lapping everyone on the couch. You were making a change. It takes our bodies time to catch up with our brains I've realized.

Stay strong.

That sucks! A car full of *******s though, seriously. People like that will put people down about anything. If you weren't overweight but there was something else different about you they'd be shouting about that. When I was around this weight a few years ago a car full of guys stopped to shout at me about the shoes I was wearing. Idiots trying to impress morons with their bullshit. You're better than that. You're getting healthy and awesome and they suck.

Whenever I see a larger person running or in my Zumba class, my first thought is good for THEM! My second thought is usually negative on myself ... I think about how much more difficult running/Zumba must be for the larger girl (on her joints, etc.) and I think that I should be tougher and go farther than I do!


* If this second thought is in any way offensive, I don't mean it to be!

Thank you all for the uplifting comments! I'm glad to know that I am not the only one who feels self-conscious about working out. You guys gave me some really good advice and really lifted my spirits.

It's happened to me when I was as low as 160lbs, so you're not alone. Some people just aren't good people- it's not a reflection on who you are and what you're doing. Judging by the millions of people who watch weight-loss shows every year, it seems that more people respect you for what you're doing than those few jerks who would mock you for it.

You should have grabbed your a$$ and given it a good squeeze in front of them! You can let this get to you or you can laugh it off and move on. Yes, it's awful that they did it, but if you let them get to you then you'll be taking steps backwards. Working out in public is daunting, all your jiggly bits are jiggling but you're WORKING OUT. That's something to be proud of even if it's the most unflattering of all activities! I have ginormous tits that look like they might knock me unconscious, I sweat like crazy, I go red, I pant like a dog in summer...but I don't work out to look good then and there - I work out to stay in shape and be healthy. If someone told me I looked like a hippo then whatever, not gonna stop me.

Those people are TOTAL DICKS and you are awesome. End of story.

No one who isn't a complete moron would see someone exercising and think to berate them.

Wow what a bunch of idiots.

You should be proud of yourself for getting out there and exercising.

For every idiot who makes a rude remark they'll be plenty of non-idiots who would think "good for you" or similar. Don't let those pathetic fools bring you down!

AHoles! They are just lame. I have a couple of songs I listen to when people are complete jerks. They are best when screamed.

Kate Nash- Dickhead

Sarah Bareilles- Sweet As Whole

there is a line in the second song... I was going to try to find a great line to post to make you feel better, but I would end up posting the entire song. Give it a listen. It always makes me feel a little bit better.

I've been there. But I agree with a previous poster - it is your choice how you handle it. You can't control them, but you CAN control you. It can either be fuel or it can hold you back.

I choose fuel, and I hope you do, too. ♥

Thank you all! So I haven't stopped exercising, but I have changed my route to make myself feel a bit less uncomfortable. It's working for me so far - forget those guys!

I had a car full of high school boys whistle at me and kind of made me feel the same way, but there is nothing anyone can really do to change what they did. We either move on or let it stop us.

My 1st thought when I see someone like myself out there pounding the pavement is good for them! 2nd thought is I hope they have a good sports bra ;)

Good for you keeping you and changing your routine to work for you!

It was a good idea to change the route for a while but I wouldn't change it permanently unless you are really happy with the new route. Don't let people inconvenience you from your goals!

Seeing as how I have a jogging trail behind my house, I see all shapes and sizes walking, jogging, running, and I always praise them for various reasons. Whether it be out in the early morning (like most are) or if they are out in the middle of the afternoon when it feels like you're on the surface of the sun. But I always think "Mad props, dude/lady." Hopefully I'll start to join them soon!

And I had a friend honk at me once when I was running. Even that shook me up a little.

:hug: Jerks..

I have the same issues. I remember trying to jog at 240 lbs and I was so embarrassed... I let that hold me back. I wish I would have tried harder because I know running would be easier for me now. F them!!! They are worthless pieces of junk.. obviously their no athletes themselves, considering they are spending their time in a car yelling at people. I would have flipped them off.. and continued my run. You don't wanna see my fat butt run, don't look :)

You are doing a great job, and you are doing this for you. Do not let insecurities about something someone may think change the way you are trying to better yourself.

I remember someone doing that to me in high school while I was walking. I still walk the same path so I guess that is why I was so insecure at first.
I honestly could care less right now. I know I got things that jiggle when I run, that is why I am running to get rid of my jiggly parts :D

Chicago? That's where I live! Ahem, you wouldn't happen to be willing to share the general neighborhood this occurred in, would you? Anyway, I'm like, seething with rage over here. I hope they... I won't even write it... They are, undoubtedly, incredibly stupid boys. How insanely wicked of them. Ugh, I don't mean to play the gender card but you'll almost never hear about this happening in reverse (thin young girls shouting humiliating slurs at an overweight male jogger). What festering evil drives so many young males to cut down complete strangers???

Don't you DARE feel bad! You've nothing to be self-conscious about! A brain thinking mean things about a person openly attempting to lose weight is a person with a lot of personal mental issues. They have the problem, not you, and that's simply the fact of the matter. You were doing nothing wrong! You were doing something incredibly right, in fact - jogging to fix your self-identified problem, for C's sake! How absurd and irrational of them to randomly insult any stranger over their weight, let alone one WORKING OUT! Don't ever feel discouraged over such illogical stupidity from aholes (or anyone at all really). Just roll your eyes and think, 'Ugh, what a bunch of low-functioning ape-boys. Anyway, this is some damn fine weather for a jog!'