Do you ever feel like what is the point of wearing make up if you are fat?
I love make up. It is really a passion and hobby of mine. I'm always trying new techniques on doing make up. I must be good at it because I always get compliments on how good my make up looks.
But lately I've been saying to myself what is the point? I'm still fat at the end of the day and people will still see me as ugly just because of my size.
And I feel no matter how much make up I wear and how good my hair looks I'm still ugly because of my weight.
If you've got it, flaunt it! Drawing attention to your favorite parts and doing a good job with your makeup lets people know that you care about your appearance and yourself. You know what you are doing for yourself, getting healthier and whatnot. Getting and feeling comfortable in your own skin, with or without makeup, is more important than what other people think of you. Rock on
For what it's worth, I don't wear makeup anymore. I just end up throwing it out when it gets old, having used it only once or twice.
When I'm feeling really frumpy and "ugh" I just want to throw on sweats, stick my hair in a pony-tail and forget the makeup. I'll say to myself, "I'm a SAHM, why do I need to dress up?" BUT, I always feel better about myself and more confident when I do take a little time for hair, makeup, etc. I turn 28 on Friday and I told my husband that I want new makeup and nail polish for my birthday. I'm hoping it gives me an extra lift.
I have seen women who are very overweight and look GORGEOUS with beautiful makeup and hair, and I've seen very in shape women who could use a makeover in that department... If you've got it, flaunt it!
Last edited by OhThePlaces; 05-15-2012 at 12:36 PM.
It's been a while since I've been in my 20's, but this question really hit me, so I wanted to respond.
As I was growing up, my mother instilled in me the belief that I was OBLIGATED to always look my best, because I was fat. Going anywhere without nicely styled hair, clothes that were spotlessly clean, unwrinkled, and dressier than the occasion warranted (and usually in dark or otherwise slimming colors and patterns) and (when I was old enough) full makeup was tantamount to a crime against society.
I didn't realize how much I had absorbed these beliefs until I started having problems with my skin and had a hard time finding foundation that didn't aggravate my sensitive skin. As the makeup made me break out, I'd search for heavier and heavier makeup to cover the breakouts - which caused more breakouts.
Having to go without makeup was devastating, and I started feeling "what's the point" in dressing up and having nice hair and nails? Heck what's the point of bathing, brushing my teeth, and using deodorant?
I quickly realized it was depression and self-defeating attitude talking. I COULD dress nicely and wear little or no makeup. I could try to find a makeup that didn't hurt my skin (even if the coverage wasn't perfect).
And I didn't have to feel ugly.
I met my husband at my highest weight, and at a time when I wasn't able to wear much makeup (I had not yet discovered mineral makeup).
As it turns out, my hubby finds women the most attractive without makeup, or without much. And he didn't see me as ugly, nor did the many other men who responded to the personal I placed which described my weight (just over 350 at the time), weight struggles, and included a photo (I did have makeup on in the photo, but I'd gotten it done professionally and the photo was a mall "glamour shot."
When I met hubby and he said, "you look prettier in person" I thought he was just being nice (turns out he meant it - he prefers women in light to no makeup).
I prefer to wear makeup, but even the mineral makeup will break me out if I wear it for more than about four or five hours, so I wear it for special occasions (and if I wear eye shadow that is less subtle than a shade or two lighter or darker than my skin, hubby will tease me. The man really has a "thing" against eye shadow. I jokingly asked him if he was traumatized by eye makeup as a child).
My long-winded point is wear what makes YOU feel good. Not everyone is going to consider you "ugly," and the ones who do, aren't important enough for you to worry about.
In many ways, at 46, I feel much less attractive than I did at 395 lbs. I don't do acrylic nails because they're not practical. I don't wear makeup often because it irritates my skin. I don't do my hair, because the pain and stiffness of fibromyalgia and arthritis prevent me from using a blow-dryer or curling iron. I dye my hair, but can only afford to do it about once a year (and the last time I tried doing it at home, I left the bathroom looking like a crime scene).
And yet my husband still tells me I'm beautiful, and I am to the people who mean anything to me, and the rest can take a flying leap.
Wear makeup or don't wear makeup. You will be ugly to some, and beautiful to others (and that's true for every single woman on the planet, regardless of size, shape, age).
Yes. Often. As in, most every day. Why does it matter what I wear, when it's not going to make me skinnier or prettier or more appealing?
But then I end up getting dressed up anyways, because I have to for work, and put on make-up because I feel weird wearing a dress without putting on make-up... And I look in the mirror, and am grateful that I put in the effort, because it does make a difference in how I look and feel.
I agree that women who are overweight (or even just "bigger") can still be absolutely gorgeous. I know it's not a perfect example, but there was a plus-sized contestant on America's Next Top Model a few years (or more) ago, and she was legitimately stunning. Now, model plus-size is in no way real world plus-size, but still--she was way more gorgeous than most of the "normal size" models. Size has nothing to do with it. It's about looking your best, right?
I'm sorry your feeling this way. I have felt this way many times. All I can say is it does get better... even losing what I have lost (I am still very much overweight) I feel so much better about myself. Keep your head up at the end of the day, make up or not I am sure you are just as pretty!
Personally when it comes to things like doing my hair/make up and everything else in that category-I used to neglect it because I felt I was too ugly to salvage. I've always loved all those kinds of girly things but it was just another excuse to neglect myself really.
These days I make the effort to style my hair and wear some make up and nice clothes, especially if I am having a bad day. It's another way we can take care of ourselves. I'm fine going without make up but I do enjoy applying it, even if it's just some BB cream and eye make up.
@Brummy-I don't think weight or appearance is any reason to not use make up if you want to-Learning to adapt to a healthier diet is a long process for a lot of us, and i think quite often spending some time prettying yourself up can improve your self esteem and subsequently inspire you to get healthier/slimmer.
I'm not saying self esteem should come from make up* It's just a boost knowing you have nicely polished nails or a cute lip color on.
I have to admit that I felt that way too, and I do take more pride in my "appearance" now. I try not to leave the house until my hair is nice or my face looks "presentable".
But you should most definitely do what makes you feel comfortable. If you love makeup, and you love dolling up, who cares what people think, and not for anything people will probably notice the talent in your makeup skills rather than any weight at all.
I know when I see a bigger girl with beautiful makeup, I look up to her, because I am, and always have been, the eye liner & mascara only type of girl. I have no skill. So please, for those like me that cannot master any kind of nice makeup, please wear yours with pride!
i really love makeup and always have growing up....But yeah sometimes i am insecure about my weight and this question does pop up but my friends encourage me to keep going and not give up! i dont think you should keep wearing it and try to feel beautiful
I feel this way on a regular basis even if I make the attempt to 'look pretty' by doing my hair and makeup I still feel ugly...i feel like i look ugly cause my face is too fat..and when it comes to clothes..I feel like whatever I put on, nothing looks good so Im like 'whats the use' and throw on some sweatpants and a t shirt to be comfortable I cant wait to lose weight. I have never felt the way i do now. And thats part of what gets me motivated
I feel that way now because I notice men walk right past me to hit on women with ugly faces or no makup because they are skinny.
Men look at body first, then make the decision, and as a chronic mostly overweight single girl, it is disheartening. The only thing I notice about make up is that women and older people smile at me more. But I am straight so doesn't really help.
To be honest, I think people who are bigger get judged harsher than they should, but I think if you are bigger and use make up and show with your clothes that you do care about how you ook people will judge you less. They will see you love yourself and are fine with where you are at. I think you should love yourself, and if the make up is part of that, then do it!
As to what men do and don't look at - WHO CARES? Lol. Sure it's fun to date and whatnot, but I hope you don't leave the house looking a certain way because you hope men will pay attention to you. Look good for YOU, nobody else!