So heres my problem how do I help my mom eat healthy without hurting her feelings? My mom is borderline diabetic and she eats horribly, she bought an abb glider a few monnths back so I know shes concerned about it, but she stopped using it right after she got it. So the other day I came over and she was cooking breakfast and I could feel my arteries clogging just looking at it, fried everything with loads of grease. So I have been on a calorie counting kick I was excited to tell her about all the calories she was about to eat. I didnt realize I was hurting her feelings because I was too excited about being healthy I guess I wanted to spread it around, after she got her plate she told my boyfriend to eat all that was left on the stove because she didnt need to eat anymore. I feel bad I was just trying to help I just dont know how to do it without her feeling bad. But I want her to be healthy too she is always eating fast food and candy bars. How can I help her without hurting her? I cant just watch it happen she is my mom and she needs help.
You can't. Do your own thing and hope she is inspired by your success.
You can't force someone to change their eating habits and bugging them about it won't really help at all and may just cause resentment. She knows she needs to do something, but she needs to find her own solution.
My family is starting to change their own habits because of my own success. Unless they ask me something I don't mention anything to them; they found their own way.
Maybe help her cook, or suggest some good recipes and not over emphasize the healthy part. Or maybe not mention it at all! lol. If you get her to eat even a bit healthier without her realizing, it's probably the best? I don't know, for me it's hard because my mom is like.. 61 and cooks the way she always has, but now she is underweight, weighing 100lbs and so she could care less about weight, and insists "some foods HAVE to be cooked in butter" etc. So I've tried to suggest other healthy food substitutes "Oh I wonder how it would taste with x instead of y" kind of thing. It may be worth a shot?
If you say she knows shes not suppose to and she knows shes suppose to be exercising, i dont really think you can make her stop eating the way she eats..you can give her advice and whatnot but at the end of the day, if she doesnt really want to do it, if its not coming from her, she wont do it..it really sucks because theyre hurting themselves but its just the way it is..even if she eats "healthier" infront of you, she probably wont once youre not around her. I hope she makes an effort though..good luck
I have stuggled with this also, trying to help and convince people that I love to change. You just can't. They will change when the time is right for them. Some do it before they die, others never do.
Just keep going and your success will inspire them in the long run Good luck!
Do you visit there a lot? If you do, I would say to try and cook dinner a few times a week if you can. If she works, you can pack her a lunch. Phrase it as a "you help me out so much, I want to help you" or "I am starting to love cooking!" Or you can ask her to be your "exercise buddy" or something of the sort, and frame it as you needing motivation and help to stay on track. I would say don't do it as it's already happening or too late to help (like when she's already cooking).
Of course, as everyone else has says, it's not up to you to make your mother do this, and I'm nowhere near as experienced with dieting and staying on track as most people here probably are. But it sounds like she maybe just needs help, and like she would want to work on things with you, so if you can keep each other motivated, maybe that would work?
I dont say anything unless I am offered food. When my mother offers me food and its cooked it a way that would throw me way off course, I just plainly tell her why. Usually it comes out as "I only have so many calories allowed and that contains way to many, sorry mom! It smells good tho".
But, on the other hand, my mother and I have a very close relationship so when we go shopping together and she complains nothing fits, I will just flat out say "Well, its probably all that crap you eat before bed" (Since shes a horrible midnight snacker).
You can't change how people wish to live their lives, but there is nothing wrong with encouragement. Hopefully by offering to cook her a meal one night to show her that food can taste good without grease/butter, it would inspire her to eat better herself. Or maybe mention that you came across a great website with low calorie foods (skinnytaste.com, chocolatecoveredkatie.com). I did that and now my mom likes to cook off of those sites a couple times a week.
Do you visit there a lot? If you do, I would say to try and cook dinner a few times a week if you can. If she works, you can pack her a lunch. Phrase it as a "you help me out so much, I want to help you" or "I am starting to love cooking!" Or you can ask her to be your "exercise buddy" or something of the sort, and frame it as you needing motivation and help to stay on track. I would say don't do it as it's already happening or too late to help (like when she's already cooking).
Yeah, I totally agree with everyone else. I also have tried this with my mom..with no success and hurt feelings...
If they don't wanna do it, there is not point in trying.
Thanks, I will try to cook her something yummy . She loves my cook'n anyway. I am starting to see a difference though since I started talking about calories. She is going at it wrong but she is making an effort and im glad for her. But yuck lol she ate a bowl of veggies covered in mayo! Eww.. I am happy she is thinking about it. Yay mom!
It's hard with moms isn't it? They fight back so hard! I think cooking for her is a good step, you don't have to necessarily count calories to lose weight and be healthier.
My mom is a healthy weight and exercises, but she eats like garbage - think a bowl of instant white rice with cinnamon sugar and butter for dinner, Stouffer's chicken pot pies, probably 80% carbs. I'll order something with vegetables or fish in it when we go out to eat and she'll be all "ohhh HEALTHY STUFF." Sigh.
It's hard to change your family's views when you're trying to change your own. My mom always has eaten horribly. She's undergone bariatric surgery to help with weight loss. She has diabetes now. She's the type of person to say that she's on her period and deserves chocolate and will buy a whole thing of cookies instead of a small chocolate bar to curve the craving.
But I've noticed that even though it's a greater challenge for us to eat healthier when we're surrounded by the crap, they will admire us for it when all our hard work is paying off. My mom finally told me one day how proud she is of me and that she wants to begin to support me more because I've taken a healthier path compared to my family. So keep working hard, she'll definitely notice, and maybe if she sees how rewarding it is, she'll jump on board too!
My mom loves when I cook so she doesn't have to...so when I cook, I have control over what goes on my plate. So try volunteering to cook! There's plenty of yummy things out there. You can google "healthy recipe blogs" and PLENTY will pop up! I found a healthy recipe for crock pot pulled pork.
Just don't jump on her about calories. I've done the same thing, and have pretty much gotten the same reaction. Instead of pointing out the high caloric items, point out the low ones. Point out the good options she does, not the bad ones. I did that with my mom, and now she asks about calories all of the time.
My mom loves when I cook so she doesn't have to...so when I cook, I have control over what goes on my plate. So try volunteering to cook! There's plenty of yummy things out there. You can google "healthy recipe blogs" and PLENTY will pop up! I found a healthy recipe for crock pot pulled pork.
Unhealthy family
Good luck!
