Your BMR is what it takes to keep your body working at your current weight AND to support the fat you currently have on your body.
That said, NO, it doesn't hurt to eat below that. As long as you feel like you have energy, aren't light headed, etc. Your body will find the energy (ie by burning fat!)
I've always eaten less than my BMR and done fine. Would I eat less than the BMR for a person my height that weighs my goal? No. But for a 175 lb person, sure. You want a caloric deficit. If you can maintain a 1500 cal diet and lose well, keep at it!
The starvation mode thing is a total myth. You'd have to eat absolutely nothing for upwards of 6 days before your body would go to that extreme.
By the sounds of it, she seems to be aware of her ED. Shooting dirty looks at other women is her defence. I wouldn't be surprised if she'd act out in rage if you voiced your concern to her. However, if someone hears something enough, they eventually believe it. It won't "fix" her, but it might chip off a little piece of her armour if you say something to her. I agree that it's not exactly in your place to say something, but at the same time I don't feel that it would be 'rude' or 'nosy' of you.
I've seen the same thing. There was a girl who was basically skin and bones exercising for hours on end at my old gym. And while I felt definite concern for her, I am in no way "professional help." I've seen dozens of documentaries on eating disorder patients and not one of them got help simply because a random person walked up to them and expressed concern. It takes A LOT of therapy and hard work to help them get over their compulsion. And usually it takes their family and loved ones years and years to convince them than they even need help. One girl who beat anorexia had a friend who was anorexic. When her friend died as a result of her disease, that was when she sought help for herself.
I highly doubt that if someone walked up to me in the middle of a Burger King and told me that I shouldn't be eating my Whopper with cheese (no onion no pickle) because I'm already severely obese according to my BMI, I would be thinking... "you skinny b**** get the **** away from me." And then I would feel like the whole world was against me. Which would make me feel depressed and might even cause me to get something sweet to eat in order to give me that emotional pick-me-up. No, you have to let ppl figure things out for themselves. Otherwise, there's no way they can truly learn why their behavior is so destructive.
For my own two cents talk to her. I don't want to be judgemental but most who said not to talk to her assumed she had family maybe she doesn't. I didn't say walk up to her and say you are way to thin. But someone else said it before me. Start a conversation be friendly. If she is always there and you are there quite often what about a good ole friendship? You may never say anything you may find out from a good ole friendship that yes, she is sick with cancer, or it is an ED or whatever the case maybe but then again maybe she is looking for someone to break down the brick wall. One person to say hello.
I have been a foster mom to 17 children who did not have parents they could turn to they had me for the short period of time they allowed me in their lives. Many leave foster care to be 'out of the system' which means when they are out they have NO ONE.
So...talk to her what is that old song "Thank you for being a friend"
i think you should talk to her. the difference we can do to this world is to take actions to change it, so, yes, maybe you could help her just by saying something encouraging or something like that!
it makes me happy to see that there actually are people that care about others!
Well, true, but how would you feel if a stranger came up to you at the gym and asked if you had some sort of disorder and needed help?
And if anything, the woman is probably going to find a different location or time to work out so she doesn't have to see the person who confronted her, good intentions or not.
Last edited by bandit bear; 02-15-2012 at 06:21 PM.
Well, true, but how would you feel if a stranger came up to you at the gym and asked if you had some sort of disorder and needed help?
And if anything, the woman is probably going to find a different location or time to work out so she doesn't have to see the person who confronted her, good intentions or not.
that's why i said "encouraging" you don't have to point out problems always, so you don't have to tell people their having a disorder. perhaps you could just ask her if she's feeling well, tell her she's got nice hair or ask her for a tip with crunches. what happens to people with eating disorders is loss of self-value and this is why pointing out their value is a nice thing to do! perhaps she'll start thinking that maybe she's just fine the way she is and doesn't need pusing herself further.
pointinting out that eating disorder suspitions is a part of the parent's job, also her friend can tell her that or, as one of you said, the trainer at the gym.
that's why i said "encouraging" you don't have to point out problems always, so you don't have to tell people their having a disorder. perhaps you could just ask her if she's feeling well, tell her she's got nice hair or ask her for a tip with crunches. what happens to people with eating disorders is loss of self-value and this is why pointing out their value is a nice thing to do! perhaps she'll start thinking that maybe she's just fine the way she is and doesn't need pusing herself further.
pointinting out that eating disorder suspitions is a part of the parent's job, also her friend can tell her that or, as one of you said, the trainer at the gym.
But still, if a stranger came up to you and asked how you were feeling.... well, I know I'd be like "WTF is it any of your business?"
The thing is, it's not the OP's business to say something. She doesn't know this person. She's a *stranger*. To say something would be totally inappropriate. The woman has actually sneered at the OP before and given her dirty looks. Even for a casual conversation, she's not approachable.
I say forget it. Ignore her. Work out at a different time.
I'm with the "don't say anything" crowd. Eating disorders are mental illnesses, and, unfortunately, you really don't know how she'll react to being approached by a stranger because of her appearance and exercise habits. Many people who suffer from anorexia find any mention of their bodies to be triggering. Having a stranger approach her in public could reinforce the idea that everybody around her is hyper-aware of her body and judging it. Honestly, as other people have said, it's highly improbable that mentioning your concerns would help her, and it's possible that doing so might actually exacerbate a negative mental state.
All of this is assuming that she has an eating disorder, of course. Even if she doesn't, she probably wouldn't appreciate a stranger telling her that she looked sickly.
Just my two cents. I think it's wonderful that you are so concerned about a person that you don't know.
I agree with others who have already said the issue is too delicate to raise with a stranger. What I WOULD do, though, is try to smile at her and say hello next time you run into each other, even if she is shooting you a dirty look. At least you will be able to give off some positive energy, which is good for you and for her, and who knows, maybe you'll end up talking at length one day. But I do think that your concerns, while valid, should only be voiced if this was someone you are close with, because you might make things worse.
bad things happen because good people are doing nothing. that's all i have to say.
But in this case, the woman at the gym is a stranger and if the OP says something (or gets a trainer to say something), it could make it worse. If she were a friend or knew the woman, it would be different. But she doesn't know her or her situation and is at this point assuming.
Thanks everyone. Saw her yesterday morning and smiled and said "Hi" when she came in. She gave me a typical teenage "Whatever" look and walked by haha. If nothing else, she knows I'm friendly . I just keep thinking, what if this were my daughter... it hurts. I wish every girl knew how beautiful she was. I know all too well how hard it is to have a bad body image as a teenager.
Be Healthy and Happy!
you don't have to point out problems always, so you don't have to tell people their having a disorder. perhaps you could just ask her if she's feeling well, tell her she's got nice hair or ask her for a tip with crunches. what happens to people with eating disorders is loss of self-value and this is why pointing out their value is a nice thing to do! perhaps she'll start thinking that maybe she's just fine the way she is and doesn't need pusing herself further.
