Is it weird that I kind of like how I look now but know when I reach goal that I'll probably be looking at myself like what was I thinking. The thought occurred to me when I was looking through early "during" photos that I actually liked and now I don't like them as much because I started to nitpick about all the memories associated with my weight and just the roundness of myself that I never noticed. I started thinking of the commercials from shallow Hal. I never watched the movie but I'm starting to wonder if I'm being shallow because I really no longer like how I looked morbidly obese and just under. My doctor told me he doesn't think I should go down to normal because he doesnt think it would look good. Is it shallow for me to disregard his idea and just keep trying to go lower? I've been pretty stressed out but I've never stopped thinking about my weight. I just want to make some sense to more than just myself.

So basically you are in the habit of shooting down any positive thoughts with a negative? Can't just stop at "Hey, I look nice today!" Why do that? I don't see how that help you on the journey to wherever your final goal will be.

And I think you look fab!

Is your doc worried you are at risk for eating disorders? Something else on your medical record being affected? TTC chances? What did doc mean "not look good?"

A.

Why is your doctor concerned with how good you look? I think that your goals are fine. I can totally relate! I am a reloser and right now, I don't like the way I look (edit-but I am thrilled with the progress), but the first time I lost, I was only a little unsatisfied with my in-between body, but I didn't mind because getting down to that weight was sooo new to me.
What really freaks me out is how troubled I am by my old eating habits...like even a couple months ago! I can't imagine eating like that now, and yet I did...for years and years. I can't imagine how many refined sugar and carbs I ate...and then I thought "What was I thinking???" but hey our priorities change and what we are aware of changes (or choose to we aware of).
I think its fine to feel this way (as long as its not to the point where you are totally ashamed of your old weight), if anything it'll make you want maintain your goal weight even more. I don't think that there's anything wrong with being shallow, as long as overall, we care about our health the most. I know for me, what pushes me day to day is me wanting a hotter body, but in the back of my mind, I don't want to have high blood sugar forever, so thats why I do it the healthy way. I must admit, my vanity is what gives me that push! lol
edit-I think that a good idea would be to think about your past body as proof of your hard work-all those steps you had to get through, trudging through to get to your current body, this stuff doesn't happen overnight! =)

I've been having a lot of trouble thinking positively. I feel like I need some work on accepting compliments overall. I just haven't been able to accept anything. Whenever someone says a compliment I usually feel like I'm trying to defend myself from whether it's actually a compliment from the same people who've been putting me down. I don't feel like I'm ok with myself

I am not completely sure what he meant at first I thought he meant I would be unhealthy but I think he meant I would look too thin to him. My boyfriend took down most of my obese pictures online which kind of feels weird.

I don't think I would develop a disorder i've been doing this so long it feels now. I kind of wish I had the same time I had in the summer to devote for losing weight. Maybe the stalling is making me think too hard about my figure.

Well, I don't know you from adam. But I can see your hard work SHOWS and you look great. So I hope you can take the positive comps from me. I don't have any ulterior motives or anything.

I can understand how two-faced comps from people who previously insult you can make you leery. Rather than internalizing their baggage and carrying it around... how about letting them carry their own dang baggage?
Isn't it fresh to be fobbing it off on others?

It's like they don't want to do the personal growth work to become nicer people with better social skills. They'd would rather boost themselves up by bringing others down and stay the same sour mean they are. Acting out people spreading misery.

Can you get rid of some of these people in your life? And the ones you are stuck with -- see them less?

Then perhaps think about spending more time with more uplifting people?

A.

Ok wait... I'm really concerned that your doctor felt the need to make a comment like that.

You look wonderful!!! Be healthy for YOU and you'll look beautiful.

When I have a flat enough stomach, that's when I know that I should stop losing weight. I know I'll never have the complete washboard flat toned stomach like all the photoshopped ladies in magazines have - but I know that when I stop seeing so much wobble in my pudge department that's when I'll be happy!

If right now you're happy, then just soak it up and enjoy it! You might think later on "Huh, I'd like to try and lose more" and keep on going. I have a friend who got down to around 135 lbs and she's 5'7". She said while it was the thinnest she's ever been, she felt that she looked a bit ill. She now wants to be around 140-145 lbs because she feels like she's still got some meat on her but she's healthy.

Honestly it might just all be about testing the waters, seeing how you feel. I'm going to keep doing what I do until I'm around my goal, but if I reach 140 and feel like I LOOK ideal, then I'll stop.

Ignore your doctor, that was a prickish statement to make, YOU decide what looks good (as long as you don't go stick thin on us!) not what anyone else thinks. When I say "I want to be around 130 lbs" people think it's too much. Well it's my body, I'll do what I want with it and see how it goes first. If it does end up being too much then lesson learnt!

Your doctor sounds... odd. I just can't imagine any doctor saying that. Since when does "looking good" have anything to deal with health? I could see a doctor saying someone didn't need to reach a healthy BMI if everything checked out but looking good? I'd just ignore it. Doctors are human and they can say stupid things too (trust me I know!).

FWIW, I'm the same way. I can look back and some of my progress pictures and be pretty "eh" about them. On the other hand, there are some that I look back at objectively (ones that I didn't necessarily like at the time) and think wow, I looked a lot better than I thought. The mind is pretty funny!

Ultimately, as long as you're healthy, I think you have ever right to pick a weight you feel comfortable with maintaining and you like your appearance at. Whether that be above a healthy BMI or squarely in the middle of it. Doctors should just stick to the health aspect of weight and keep their appearance comments to themselves!!

What kind of quack doesn't want their patient to be a healthy weight? That's just not the way it should be. Ditch the doc!

And also I'd like to say you should CHERISH and HOLD ONTO the moments of self-love and happiness with yourself that you experience. You're a work of art in progress and it's totally ok to be happy RIGHT NOW with how you look!