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Have you ever had a guy go on and on about how you don't need to lose (and why) and it actually has the reverse effect -makes you feel even worse about your figure? The descriptions make me feel like I'm being judged at a livestock competition!
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Yes, I've been objectfied with catcalls and whistles and things. Never by a BF though.
If you already asked him to stop talking down to you like that --like you are not a person but a THING to judge and he keeps doing it anyway? OVER AND OVER eroding you? Dump the guy! There are some weird guys who use that talk to hold their partner's emotionally hostage for more abuse later on. Thpppt!
If it is about his insecurities that you will leave him once at goal and you are willing to work through that, reassure that you aren't going anywhere and love him. Have a good talk and sort it out.
If it is about his worrying you will head into eating disorders or hurt yourself -- are his concerns valid? Address that with a good talk too. Sort it out.
Basically -- what's motivating the comment? Then assess from there.
It may turn out to be a little thing that can be made nothing after a good heart to heart. Or it can be a red flag in context. Only YOU know him, so you have to make the call.
But the actual weight loss is your business, not his.
My DH has loved me thin, loved me obese, love me pregnant, loved me not. We're very secure. So he doesn't make any of those type comments and I'm glad.
On the one hand it is nice not to listen to body crap! On the other hand, I also don't have a pal to natter with or a workout buddy or anything because fitness is a shared interest. It isn't.
If I announce weight loss, he will mildy go "yay! I'm glad for you!" because he knows I'm working on it for my PCOS management and he loves me and wants me to feel happy in myself.
But it's not like he
cares like I do. He just has no esp interest in fitness reading or cooking or health or... any of that. Which is ok. He's him. I'm me. *shrug* He makes the effort to encourage and listen politely. I make the effort to encourage and listen politey when he tells me about music or model planes he wants to make and I'm not esp interested in. Fair enough.
I rather have this than deal with insecure BF or mean BF any day!
A.