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My name is Aleshia and Iam 24. I am currently 284 pounds and am aiming for 190 pound by June.

I have been obese for as long as I can remember. I really hate being this big, but I am scared of loosing weight. Right now guys dont find me attractive so I dont feel like I have to worry about rapist. I am afraid of becoming smaller and more attractive. I really want to be happy with my weight. Not only am I afraid but I am an emotional eater. I have tried time after time. I guess I need to be accountable to someone and when I gain weight I need to own up to it and not let it defeat me anymore.

I have been up and down with my weight since I was in middle school. I have not been under 240 pounds since middle school.

I really want to change it but when people make fun of my weight who suppose to support me then it makes my emotions run wild then I eat and lay in bed.

I am trying to fuel my mind with I will show you that you don't have power over me by using exercise as an emotional coping tool and not food. This is one habit that is hard to brake since I do need food to live.

You have to make the decision to change. Start little by little if you are really concerned. Food can be fun. Have you checked out the food section of the forum?

Hi Aleshia :) What an awesome nickname you have ;) I love it!!! Hehehe. I'm so glad you made this decision for yourself :)

Do you have a plan?

I am also 24 and 284lbs. Don't beat yourself up, I'm sure guys find you attractive! Hopefully you will find many people here that can give you the support you are lacking in your life so that you can make your weight loss journey a sucess :) just take it slow and you'll get to your goals

Rape is about control, not always just about how attractive the girl is. While your size may deter someone because they may not see you as an easy target, your appearance itself doesn't factor in as much as you might think.

If you're afraid of being raped, then you need to educate yourself on methods of keeping yourself safe. Living in paranoia, however, is no way to really live.

Is it possible that you feel this way because you're afraid of relationships? Afraid of finding out that maybe dating still wont be easy, even after weight loss? I think that many people who do refuse to date while overweight or obese tend to be the folks who have other psychological issues when it comes to love and romance, which might not even be tied to their weight, but they still use the weight as a crutch.

You sound like you could really benefit from some psychological help. Laying in bed all day eating seems like a sign of depression. Only a medical professional can figure that out for you, but it could do you a world of good to get it diagnosed, if it's there.

I agree with napalmtree it's possible that you're depressed and you might want to see someone and work out why you want to lay in bed and eat all day. This is much more than losing weight.

If you're afraid of being thin, I can relate to that. It can be scary when men suddenly start giving you attention. You might want to check out this topic where there is a discussion going on about losing weight and getting more attention from men: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/depr...eing-thin.html

To lose the weight I would suggest that you start small. Start changing your life without focusing on losing weight. Start by just exercising or just eating healthy and slowly work up to exercising and eating healthy. Small changes will result in a healthier lifestyle overall.

Thanks :)

My plan is to keep track of my calories and try to cut greasy, bad fatty, junk foods out of my diet and of course exercise. :)

No not yet, but will go over and check it out.

Thanks. I have gotten to some my goals in the past but have gained them all back so hoping this time I can keep it off.

Yeas some guys do. I want to be attractive I want the guys in my RC community to go damn she hot and can fly. That is one my goals. It a male dominated hobby which sucks.


I have a bf of 3 years now so relationship and commitment issues ain't me.

As for depression yea I have that. I have learned to control my depression without meds, but some days the stress of things and people make me want to lay in bed and never get out. I have found a hobby that helps me relax and de-stress. I was just saying in the past that is why I have always felled on my diets.

Well I have over come a lot of my fears. I am happy to say that I have lost 10 pounds. and started walking again the other day. I have walked three days in a row. It day walking 1/2 mile.. Next week I will start walking a mile. I am happy with life and ready to loose this weight. I had set back at thanksgiving and had a 3-4 day thanksgiving binge, but got back on the ball on lost. I was so down when I first wrote on this thread I have been a member for like a month now and all the support I have gotten has been awesome and all the lady's on here have been so inspiring. Reading back over the post I have wrote in this thread and I am sad to know that I was so down on myself and only feeling piety and wanting piety. Through some the challenges I have been on it has been amazing. Thanks for all the advice and encouraging words it has been so helpful in my first month journey 2 onderland. If you like to keep up with my progress pm me and I will send you a link to my FB page.

Congrats on the ten pounds!

I think u may need some kind of help. You are depressed. U cant live your life in fear! I am a rape victim. I refuse to let what happened to me dictate how I live my life!!! U need to get it 2getha. If ppl around u are making fun of your weight, why are u still in their presence because obviously they are a**holes! Im sorry for being so blunt but i think u need tough love. U can do anything u set your mind to. Losing weight is all about your mentality!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!

I appreciate the bluntness.