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I hate my body
There I said it. Nothing helps. I've tried dieting, I've tried exercising, eating healthy....Nothing is helping me. I'm officially stuck in my room looking through magazines and wishing I'd ever get a flat stomach. I'm disgusted with myself for doing this because I know that they are all photo shopped blahblahblah but I just can't stand going out anymore.. Even in a lose shirt I feel fat. :(((((
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I do understand how you feel. When I'm not working I am at home.. looking up dieting crap, getting on the scale, looking at diet pills (gross i know). I've been contemplating calling my dr for a month now to get on a "magic" diet pill because my friends has lost 30 pounds in 2 months on it. But you have to pick yourself up at some point. You have to put down the magazines and look in the mirror and say "this is me." I know it sucks, Its a lot of work. It's not fair by any means. But you CAN do it. You CAN get a flat stomach. Yeah it's going to take months.. maybe even a year. But that's okay because it WILL happen. You have your whole life to enjoy being "skinny" and if that means you have to take one year of it and get to that point then so be it. because once you're there you will be so happy and so proud of what you've done. hang in there. and always remember the healthier you are the better you will feel.
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I think you need to seek resources for help with your body image. You're not overweight so you might not even have a problem that exercising and eating healthy can solve - it's possible your issues are all in your head. In the past I have availed myself of free counseling through both my university and my church. Do you have something similar available to you or the financial means to pay for counseling?
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I agree this may be a counseling issue. It's okay to not be thrilled with what you look like. However, when it becomes a major focus of your life and makes you want to hide inside, I think that is a more serious issue.
May I ask....Having a flat stomach, would mean what? Will it make you happier? Will that then make you pretty or normal? Why do you want to look like a magazine image? Is that your standard of beauty? None of these things will ever come from a flat stomach or being skinny. They have to come from inside first. |
I too have these feelings. The things we have to remember is we are always our own worst critic. Being healthy should always be the ultimate goal. Never vanity, as hard as that is.
Another thing to remember is, a flat stomach IS possible. But it doesn't happen overnight. After years of not treating our bodies perfect, we need to take years to work up to it (some of us). It is taking me MUCH longer to get a flat stomach. My legs, arms and the rest of my body are all pretty much where I need them to be but my damn stomach is taking forever. All we can do is CONTINUE working at it until we get the desired results. This could take a year, two years or maybe even three. The bottom line is, DO NOT GIVE UP! If you do, you'll regret it down the line. Keep on moving! And as an aside, remember it's not just working out or just eating right, we have got to do both to get rid of the fat that encircles our tummies.=( |
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The thing is, how do you know it won't work for you if you haven't given it time? You never know anything unless you try! |
This is going to be blunt honest truth and I hope you won't take it negatively. You are not overweight. Your BMI is well within the 'Normal' category. While I know that all bodies carry weight differently and BMI doesn't define your shape and size, you should not hate your body. You shouldn't dread going out and you shouldn't stare at false images all day long. (And even though you say you know it isn't depression, those are all symptoms of a misconstrued and destructive body image.) I support the idea that you may want to try counseling to try to correct your head. You need to learn to love yourself and then maybe you will make some progress on being who you want to be. You also may want to think about the idea that you are at the healthy weight that God, nature, or whatever you believe in intended you to be. Just my humble opinion...
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Your BMI is at 22 (I looked it up) which is WELL within the normal range. That being said, I do know how you feel. But I think the best thing that you can do for yourself is THROW OUT THOSE MAGAZINES!!! Putting models up on a pedestal like that and wishing that you looked the way they do isn't doing you any good, it just makes you feel worse.
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I guess I would address three things:
1) Are you sure your target weight is actually realistic? You're 5'9". Unless you have a very slim frame and very little muscle, 135 would probably be underweight. I'm 5'5" and 135 is the lowest I plan to go because at that weight I look almost underweight. 2) Diet and exercise take time. It's not something that you can do for a few weeks or even a few months and expect perfect results unless you didn't have very far to go anyway. For you, diet is going to be key to getting your belly off. As my doctor says, "You get fit with exercise, you lose fat with diet." And it is so true. 3) Regardless of where you are on your journey, you need to practice being kind to yourself. Don't allow yourself to say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say out loud to your best friend. Don't say, "You're ugly." or "You're fat" or whatever it is you say to yourself. Find something good to say. When you hear your mind saying something negative, say STOP! out loud and then replace it with something positive. With your internal negativity, I have to wonder even if you achieve your goal if you'd be happy. The key is to be happy now, no matter where you are in life. Treat yourself like a friend, not like an enemy. |
I completely agree with gatorgirl. You are NOT overweight. You keep saying that your body holds onto weight. Well...that might be your body's way of revolting to your demands of it. You are at an extremely healthy weight. In fact, I'm the exact same height as you and you are at my goal weight. I'll be in a healthy BMI and that is my aim...to be healthy.
Check out Body Dismorphic Disorder (sp?)...that is a form of OCD (which is something I struggle with and have struggled with BDD in the past.) The person who has BDD focus on one or more areas of their body and it literally gets distorted. Go to an actual therapist (a psychiatrist or psychologist who has training in OCD/BDD not just a counselor) You have to be healthy both mentally and physically. Obviously, you are in a healthy BMI. Stop comparing your body, find swimsuits (even bikinis), and other clothing that fits your body. Even when I was ten pounds heavy I took a step and got a really awesome bikini...and I'm not going to lie...I rocked the heck out of that bathing suit. Don't let fear hold you back from life. I did for way too many years. |
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