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-   -   How do you actually lose weight and stick to it? (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/20-somethings/243225-how-do-you-actually-lose-weight-stick.html)

Andrbeck 09-16-2011 09:06 PM

How do you actually lose weight and stick to it?
I want to lose weight. However, it's like after a month of good weight loss (about 7 pounds) I always fall off whatever I've been doing. I will exercise more. Eat less. Lose weight.. have a huge cheeseburger. I don't get it. I feel like I haven't been able to completely devote myself to this whole weight loss thing. I want to. but at the same time it's like my subconscious is telling me I'm not good enough? Or I Can't do it?? I just Don't know how to acutally stick to it! My mom is wanting me to talk to a nutritionist or dietician or whatever lol she is tired of hearing me talk about being "fat".. I have considered talking to my OB about it. Because ultimately I am wanting to lose weight so we can try for number 2. Because I just can't see getting pregnant now and gaining more weight and feeling even worse about my self. My work has a free gym and I've been trying to get motivated to go . wah. I just need some advice. How to dedicate myself fully to losing weight. Getting past that first month.:?:

ChickieChicks 09-16-2011 09:18 PM

I had that same problem. For several years I would randomly get a surge of motivation...be good for a month and lose some weight...then fall off the wagon. Blah!!

The biggest differences NOW, is that I am fully commited. I keep a written Food journal and i stick to my calorie range 100%. No matter what. Hurricane? Stick to it. Babies up all night? Stick to it. Sicknesses? Stick to it. Stressful life in general??? Stick to it!!

I told my friends and family my plan and they held me accountable. My husband was super supportive, and not just in words. he actually HELPED with the kids, the house, etc. It was THAT, I swear, that changed everything this time.

I didn't have to "add in" working out and eating right. It was my job. I gave myself 100 days, and my hubby, kids, etc were all slightly on the back burner. Of course it didn't ALWAYS work perfectly like that, you ca't control every aspect of life. But no matter how crazy the day was, I never went over my calorie count and I learned to put my gym time first.

You can do it!

Lovely 09-16-2011 09:22 PM


Originally Posted by Andrbeck (Post 4035796)
I will exercise more. Eat less. Lose weight.. have a huge cheeseburger.


Then eat, and enjoy a huge cheeseburger once a month as a treat. Why would you ever stop exercising or, eating less in general if you have one cheeseburger a month?

This whole lifestyle change does not mean we eat perfectly 24/7. It simply means that more often than not we make some really great, healthy decisions, and then every once in a while we can have something maybe not as super great.

Or if we make a mistake we say "Oh well" and we get right back to our plans the very next moment.

It sounds like you actually do just fine for a month... and then you let one little thing derail you and keep you from choosing healthy, again.

Why do you think you need to be perfect to lose weight forever?

To me it sounds more like you're beating yourself up over something like a little slip-up, and then telling yourself you "can't" do it.... when in reality, you're actually doing the same things that anyone who sticks with it is... they just don't beat themselves up over an occasional "bad" food. They let it go, and move on. That's why they're still on their plans.

Andrbeck 09-16-2011 09:27 PM

Thanks for an awesome response! My hubby is really supportive of everything but it's so hard for me when he can eat whatever he wants and not gain a pound (though he has gained 10 pounds since we started dating 5 years ago ;) ) I tried making our wedding a dead line and I think I just got too over worked with everything to focus fully on it. I feel "guilty" for wanting to stay late at work to work out. or going in early. Because I work 8-5 and live about 40 minutes away from work and I feel like I'm not getting to spend enough time with my son. My ultimate goal is to be in the 130's by December 17th (Hubby's christmas party, usually fancy) but that puts me at "roughly" two or three pounds a week. And I know that I won't lose that amount every week. It's not possible. I just think I need to push myself and do like you said and put everything on the back burner except for my heath. Wow your post has me rambling now! Thanks again!

Andrbeck 09-16-2011 09:29 PM

Lovely- You caught me. I can't let anything go. Not even my weight ;) I know I shouldn't beat myself up. I just don't know how to let it go. I do exactly what you say. I feel defeated and then feel like it's too hard to get back on the right track. I.need.to.stop.the.excuses.

ChickieChicks 09-16-2011 09:29 PM

PS. I just want to add that by calorie counting, I could still eat the occasional cheeseburger and fit it in my plan. I didn't go voer my amount, but I still penciled in my "guilty pleasures" b/c they are helpful to your sanity! LOL

Lovely 09-16-2011 09:38 PM

I want to point out that I admire ChickieChick's conviction, but I do make mistakes from time to time.

I absolutely cannot let a mistake or a "could've been better" decision keep me from my goals.

You mentioned one month seemed to be about as long as you've stayed with your plans. I'm going to suggest a goal for you. Two months. Not to stay perfect for two months, mind you, but to focus on the days themselves.

So, if (not when, merely if), you end up eating a cheeseburger or whathaveyou at the end of the first month, you have something to keep you going forward. Your goal to still be making better choices at the end of month two.

Andrbeck 09-16-2011 09:43 PM

I appreciate everything! I really do. I need to come on here more often. Because YOU GUYS know what I'm feeling, going through, been there done that. i love it. I have 1 friend who weighs 100 pounds after two kids in two years and I have one friend who is doing some shake 2 times a day and one real meal plan and seeing "amazing" results. They don't understand how I feel. I'm glad I posted this so I could get some encouragement. I have roughly 90 days until hubby's christmas party. So I think I will do what you say Lovely. I am going to try and not beat myself up.

Chickie- You can't live without guilty pleasures!! I know i'd go insane without my occasional pleasure. haha.

Harriette 09-16-2011 10:43 PM

You kind of have to arrive at the point where you are ready to lose. It's a bit like a holy grail quest - you need to find the journey yourself! I have tried and failed (followed the eating plan a few days then back to kfc for several months) to lose weight many times. I really wanted to lose for a wedding I was in but for some reason couldn't commit to it and by the time the wedding came I was at my highest ever. It was a few months later I got up one day and devised an eating plan. from that day forward I stuck to it.

You need to decide to do it and have the focus and commitment to see it through. Even if that means no eating out for a month until you have established an eating pattern.

Good luck with your journey!

melodymist 09-17-2011 02:21 AM

Free gym? Wow now that is an added bonus.

Over the past few years I have been on and off the weightloss wagon. Wanting to be smaller, wanting to fit in or wanting someone to love me. My biggest mistake? Doing it for everyone, except myself.

Now it's for me. Me and me alone!!! I thnik you just have to get in the right mindset. This isn't a quick fix. Nothing in life, that's worth it, is easy.

I suggest you find motivation. Go to the goal forums and look what those people did. They made it and each time you feel as if you're going off track remember, each day is a step closer to your goal and you're only gonna feel worse if you don't succeed.

Riestrella 09-17-2011 05:49 AM

I've been overweight since I was 11 and I was always complaining about being fat and ugly for years. When I went to Uni at 18, I decided that I have had enough of the complaining and joined the gym. I was going on holiday to America, so it was a goal. I worked out, lost weight then as soon as I got to America I gained all the weight back on.

Happened again the year after, I was running 3 times a week for my holiday to Italy. I lost a lot of weight, but 2 weeks in Italy messed that up for me. I entered my 3rd year at Uni, ate terribly, slacked on exercise and I gained all the weight back on and then some. Then I went to America after graduating, gained MORE weight and that's where my 193 lbs is from. Could have even reached 200 lbs at some point but I feared weighing myself.

So this is my third time trying to lose weight, and it really is lucky! Here are my thoughts on staying with it: You have to want this. You can't just say "Oh, well, I would like to lose weight, it would be nice to look good for ___" you have to want it and NEED it and FOCUS on it. Without determination, focus and dedication - you're going to fall off at the tiniest hurdle.

You're putting a lot of pressure on yourself it sounds. You've got a wedding, you've got a party, you don't want to spend time at the gym because it gets in the way of your family...you need to re-evaluate things a bit here. You need to lose weight to be healthy and happy. There's no time limit on that. Sure, I would love to be in the Healthy BMI zone when I see my BF next, but I don't HAVE to be there for it to be special or for me to look good - I'll get there when I get there. So go at your own pace, there are no deadlines, you haven't failed if you don't lose 2 lbs a week.

Also, the time thing - make the time. You can do a hardcore workout in 20 minutes. There are lots of circuit training type programmes that have you busting your balls for 20 minutes and it will work you good. Healthy eating should never be considered a diet, it should be what you eat every day for the rest of your life. Replace white bread with brown bread, get rid of soda from your kitchen, stock up on vegetables and fruit, get in with the good stuff! We all have a treat once in a while, ****, I had a cheeseburger myself 2 days ago! I had a giant Mexican meal a month ago, but I'm still going!!

To conclude this rambly post, I stick to my weight loss because there's nothing more that I want than to be healthy. I'm fed up of the lack of confidence, I'm fed up of being overweight, I'm fed up of the complaining, I'm fed up thinking "oh look at her, she's so thin, I wish I looked like her," I'm fed up of this life! I want to be healthy, happy and confident, and I want nothing more than to see me in the healthy BMI zone - something I've never seen in my adult life. I'm looking forward to meeting her! And I'll stop at nothing to get there.

tuende 09-17-2011 11:39 AM

I'm just going to echo Lovely's advice here- to lose weight, you don't have to be perfect, but you do have to keep going! I read something the other day- I think it was actually in an interview with Jillian Michaels- and she was talking about this same thing. She said (about having off-plan indulgences), "it's like if you get a flat tire. You don't get out of the car and slash the other 3! You change the tire and move on."

Reading that made me chuckle because I used to be such a tire-slasher dieter. Big time. I'd eat one thing off-plan and in my mind it was all over and I'd eat 10 things off-plan. It's taken me a while to learn that one mistake does not mean I have derailed the entirety of my weight loss journey (or that I should go ahead and run it right off the tracks). You pick yourself up, you move on, you plan on doing better at your next meal.

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