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Old 09-08-2011, 01:51 AM   #1  
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Default Why do people stare or judge when you eat healthy?

Little vent.

Why? WHY? W H Y ?

Yesterday I made a fruit salad at work. You should have seen the looks I got. I got chocolates from a co-worker and again everyone was asking why I didn't eat it. I don't drink sugar in my coffee, never had in my life, but NOW it's an issue to people. Why do you get weird looks when you snack on fruit and vegetables? Why should I explain myself when I choose a salad instead of a double cheese burger. (That actually made me hungry now haha ).

Now I feel better. Thank you for reading !!!!
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Old 09-08-2011, 02:08 AM   #2  
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I think people have it in their head that it's not a viable option to pick salad over double quarter pounder with cheese that's supersized. So surely there is something wrong with you for making said choice.

A lot of folks have that automatic judgement of someone not a size 2 who is trying to make healthier choices but there's a double standard when they see that size 2 eat the aforementioned burger. It's really not nice nor is it right.. but I'd like to give you for doing your best and trying to make the decisions that are right for you. I saw your ticker, and congratulations on the weight you've lost so far. I know you'll reach your goal

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Old 09-08-2011, 03:24 AM   #3  
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I think sometimes it's not judgement so much as a reaction to the unexpected. Either they've noticed a change in your behavior, or your behavior seems unusual or unexpected to them because it's behavior that they're not familiar with.

It's human instinct (and one that can be hard to fight) to stare at the unusual and unexpected. In fact, most of us believe we have learned to stare without appearing as if we're staring (at least we think so - but the truth is an observant person can easily tell anyway).

There's the rude, open-mouthed stare, and then there's the polite side-long glance punctuated with glances away as if to say "see I'm looking away, so I'm not really staring."

I'm not saying judgement isn't a component, but even so it's often predicated on how unusual the behavior seems to folks. We're social critters, and in most social critters, odd behavior is judged to be bad behavior (if you're acting oddly, you may be sick. If your behavior is unpredictable, I can't trust you).

Now, humans have big brains, so we don't usually consciously think these things, but the instincts can affect what we do think. The instinctive discomfort, can inspire us to think very uncharitable things (I don't like your odd behavior. I don't really know why I don't like it, so I'll come up with some reason to help me feel better about not liking it). That's not our conscious thoughts of course, because then we'd know that we were being unreasonable - and if there's one thing humans do well it's finding ways to justify being unreasonable.

I've always been a bit of an odd-duck, food behavior wise. Even when I wasn't dieting, I liked weird and unusual foods, and I'd always get stares and looks of astonishment (and sometimes even disgust or discomfort).

"What are you eating?" people would say (or their expression would) in a shocked manner that seems to say "you're not really going to be be putting that disgusting filth into your mouth, are you?"

After a while it got to be annoying, and then so much so that it got to be funny. I had fun deliberately shocking people, trying to find the most unusual thing to bring to lunch.

I got used to people staring at my lunch or into my grocery cart, and sometimes even asking "what IS that?" I still love introducing people (even strangers) to ugli fruit (which looks like an ugly grapefruit that somehow seems to be both unripe and rotted at the same time, because of it's mottled, green, wrinkled skin). It peels easily, like a tangerine, though there's a lot of pith to then peel off. I'll tell the gapers that it tastes like lemonade and the disgusted stares will turn to a more innocent expression of wonder. I'll offer people a piece, and it's amazing to me how few are brave enough to try it. It's a fruit for crying out loud, not a cyanide capsule.

I figure people are going to act how they act, and often that's going to be stupid. I've made my share of stupid and even "what the heck is that" stares and comments. Most people learn to behave once the unfamiliar becomes familiar - when they see that the "weirdness" becomes less weird and is proven harmless to them.

Unfortunately eating healthfully, has become unusual. Sadly, in some places it can be more unusual than a woman (or even a very hairy man) wearing a ridiculously too-short, too-tight skirt to work. As a result, it can trigger the same reaction.

Last edited by kaplods; 09-08-2011 at 03:26 AM.
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Old 09-08-2011, 04:12 AM   #4  
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Aoidela - I have to agree with you that there is a double standard in society. Thank you so much for your kind words good luck on your journey!


kaplods - Some of the things you said I really thought about. I have also noticed I'm one of those people that will scream out "What's that?" at random stuff but also towards food. They say people are afraid of change, maybe I just answered my own question?

"Ugli fruit", I think I'm going to google that
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Old 09-08-2011, 05:30 AM   #5  
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I had a workmate ask me if I was on a diet because she'd seen me eating a lot of soup recently. Our meals are provided at work, and often its something very greasy, so I'll choose the soup option. I'm not on a soup diet, it's just convenient!! It annoys me.
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Old 09-08-2011, 06:10 AM   #6  
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I really don't know! Sometimes it could be a mixture of a few things. When I started Uni I lived with 3 other girls, 2 of them were really supportive of me when I decided to join the gym and eat healthily, but 1 of them was a b!tch about it. When we first started, we were around the same size, she was perhaps a bit smaller than me. But when I started working out and she wasn't swimming like she did back home, I shrunk and she gained.

Whenever I would go to the gym or make a fruit salad or eat anything remotely healthy she'd chime in like "I don't need to diet, I like the way I am" or "I don't care about my weight, my boyfriend loves me the way I am" or "I don't like exercising, I find it really boring, if there was a swimming pool I'd swim but there isn't." IT WAS SO ANNOYING! But I didn't need to argue, because I was becoming confident, healthier and losing weight and she was gaining.

Some women can be nasty pieces of work, in that they can try and convince you out of a diet because they like being the skinnier one and get threatened! I know when I roll into work with a salad people are going to probably say wtf. But oh welly, beats the people who eat hot dogs, nachos with cheese and all the unhealthy food! BE PROUD!
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Old 09-08-2011, 06:29 AM   #7  
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I have people trying to constantly push food on me. If it's a bite of something (here, try this!) I don't really care because I like trying new things. But if you're trying to give me a substantial amount of food, I'll refuse. I calorie count so I DO eat hamburgers, fries, hot dogs, etc., occasionally as long as they fit into my calorie count for the day. Since I'm so careful about this, I get really irritated if someone tries to "ruin" it.

My family and friends constantly do this yet this comment positively on my weight loss (HOW DO YOU THINK I GOT HERE FOLKS??). I think subconsciously they are threatened by my weight loss, probably because I've always been big.

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Old 09-08-2011, 06:53 AM   #8  
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Riestrella - "Some women can be nasty pieces of work, in that they can try and convince you out of a diet because they like being the skinnier one and get threatened! " Love what you said here. People say they want you to be happy, and yet when you are happy they sort of "hate" you for being happy?

sontaikle - I feel 100% like you do!!!! People support me but yet they always try to push food down my mouth. Eventhough I had dinner people will still insist I eat with them and eat this. UGH!!
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Old 09-08-2011, 07:51 AM   #9  
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I don't get it either and I try to ignore it as best as I can. I drink my coffee either black or with milk and most people look at me like I have a third eye because of that.

Also, once when I was at a much heavier weight I had a lady next to me in line to get the salad buffet at work and she kept looking at me and then at what I was putting on my plate (a large salad, thank you very much). She was really glaring at me, God only knows what she was thinking.

I just try to ignore it, who cares what they think? It's my health not theirs.
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Old 09-08-2011, 08:47 AM   #10  
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My coworkers say things all the time I what I eat like eating a tomato like an apple or eating an avocado with a spoon. Even normal stuff like a salad. At first it would really get to me because I never complained or commented about their lunches but then I just stopped caring as much because no matter what I eat they will try to police my food. I ate small bag of doritos and they commented..
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Old 09-08-2011, 12:38 PM   #11  
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I will echo the sentiment here that I think sometimes there's a jealousy factor, especially amongst women. It's very sad and very disheartening. We're often the glue that keeps everything and everyone together but we can also be one another's greatest enemies! Even though I'm not exactly the most open of individuals, even the smallest thing can be picked apart, whether in front of you or behind your back. I say kudos to the brave ladies (and gents!) on 3FC for really keeping themselves motivated and making the changes to get their lives better. By getting and keeping yourself healthy you can better help others do the same
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Old 09-08-2011, 12:56 PM   #12  
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I'm not sure. I've been eating healthier for a while now (and without me ever talking about it, people have DEFINITELY noticed).

I don't get the flack I used to for it. After a while (6 months for me) people get used to it and don't stare or comment so much.

I think one part of it might be that people don't think 'diets' last. Even if you just switch to something else (like, from low carb to medium carb and high protein or something), people think you've 'quit.' And most people do really quit or switch the way they eat while trying to lose weight. Some people I know say, "You'll never stick it out. Just wait."

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Old 09-08-2011, 12:56 PM   #13  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by melodymist View Post

sontaikle - I feel 100% like you do!!!! People support me but yet they always try to push food down my mouth. Eventhough I had dinner people will still insist I eat with them and eat this. UGH!!
It's frustrating, right? There's only so many times you can say "No" before you feel like throwing the food right back at people.
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Old 09-08-2011, 01:36 PM   #14  
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I wish I was better at saying no when people offer me food... I have been giving away food to people when they offer it to me.
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Old 09-08-2011, 01:38 PM   #15  
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See, I just never say "I'm on a diet." Because I'm not on a diet, I'm changing my life.

I used to get weird looks from people in class as I ate my cut up, raw vegetables, but after a while (2 years) they're used to it. We were all actually joking about it the other day.

As hard as it is, just ignore it and keep doing as you want to do
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