Does anyone here have a difficult time living their life because of their weight?
I don't know if it's just me... but I can't seem to bring myself to do things because I feel like either everyone is judging me for being fat or because I'm feeling like crap about myself.
For example, I won't go out to my favorite billiards hall right down the street from my house because I feel like I'm too fat to go and everyone will judge me. I stopped being intimate with my boyfriend because I feel so self-conscious. I don't go anywhere you have to dress nicely because none of my clothes fit me anymore and it feels like I'm saying I lost if I buy new clothes. I don't like to see my friends that I haven't seen in a while because I think they'll judge me for being fat. I won't travel anywhere on vacation with my boyfriend because I'll think I'm being judged.
I mean.. the list goes on and on and on. The only excuse I give myself is, "I'll do it when I'm slender." And it's like.. everything I want to do I'm putting on hold until I've lost weight. I know this isn't healthy! But I don't know how to get over it! lol.
YEs YEs YEs. That is what has started me on my weight loss path. I want to WANT to do things again. Amusment park, trips to the zoo, not feeling like the fattest lady every where I go.We can do it!!
It doesn't STOP me going out - but I do feel self conscious. Especially with my friends, most of them are super slim so I feel inadequate stood near them sometimes. It started to get in the way of my love life, I wouldn't believe my boyfriend when he told me I was beautiful, when he said he loved my body. Also our sex life started to get a bit samey just because I felt really self conscious that my fat would wiggle!
But now that I'm doing something about it, now that I'm losing the weight and keeping it off and working out consistently I feel so much better about myself. So sure, I might still be overweight, but I know that one day I won't be so it makes life that little bit brighter.
YES. I always have a mindset like "I am shopping...while fat" "I am walking to this place...while fat" its like everything has a fat theme to it!
I also won't approach men or go out to "nighttime places"
I'll to a bar for a bit and def have lunch, but I won't go seriously clubbing.
Its totally taken over my life, which is half my fault and also I can't ignore-I mean everyone sees it and I do not carry my weight well.
It is the same reason I wont:
*Wear a bathing suit in public
*Go clubbing with my girls who are half my weight, literally
*Flirt with that cute guy (even though I've been taken forever, I can still flirt) bc who wants to be noticed by a fat girl?
*Jump on the big trampoline with the kids (I swear if I break it, it will ruin my self-esteem FOREVER)
*Shopping for me- I hate fat clothing
This list goes on. That was a push to lose weight.
Sheramama-TOTALLY!!! People tease me about my clothes, well its like I'm sick of shopping and crying in the dressing room, ugh I'd rather just by whatever just looks OK until I get a better body.
I've definitely had those feelings before..but since starting my weight loss journey, I've only used them as motivation! Keep strong, though.. you don't deserve to have a limited life just because you don't look how you'd like to right now.
Seize the idea of the things you're letting yourself miss out on and move past your fear of judgment, I guarantee you'll be happy you did! The people who matter to you won't be the ones judging, I promise.
At your starting size, weight only really gets in the way of your life if you let it. For example, much heavier folks have the issue that they literally CAN'T do some things because they don't fit/are too large/etc. I don't really see you having that issue at 199 pounds, as I was 200 pounds and two inches shorter than you and did quite a lot
I was self conscious about my weight, I wondered what people thought. However, after a while I simply didn't care anymore. Why care about what others think of you? Is it really going to affect your life if some random stranger sees you and thinks you're fat? You can't shut yourself away from the world just because society thinks you should. Challenge it! Go against societal standards and live life the way you deserve to.
I made wonderful friends, met the man I will marry (and had others after me!) all when I was 200 pounds. I was and still am, confident in who I am. When you're confident in yourself it doesn't matter what you weigh—people will be naturally drawn to you. I'm sure we've all seen that beautiful fat girl who has loads of people around her and wondered how she did it; well that's how she did it folks! She's confident.
Don't let anything stop you from living life. It's simply too short to let it pass by because you have a few extra layers of padding
Also, quick wit and sarcasm generally come in handy to deal with the once in a blue moon that someone will attempt (yes, just attempt) to make you cry/break that confidence. Don't let them get that satisfaction.
I wish I could say it gets a lot better, but even after a 60 pound loss for me, it's still a head game. I always walk around with my fiance' thinking everyone in the room is looking at me as the fattest girl, b/c that's the way it was my whole life. I can't get used to the fact that:
A. I weigh less than my fiance' (by 40 pounds) and he can pick me up. I always freak out that he'll hurt himself or drop me b/c I'm too heavy....
B. I can fit places that I never could and it always surprises me. Airplane aisles and seats, roller coasters, you name it. I still worry about it to this day.
C. People judge me because I'm not slim. Come on, we all know we've done it and other people do it. Gotta stop worrying about what other people think!
That's about the gist of it. You gotta stop worrying about what other people think, and realize that they are so wrapped up in their own insecurities, they're not lookin' at yours
Yesterday, as I was dancing/leaping/catwalking around a park in a very strange outdoor group excerise class (how I even ended up doing this is still kind of a mystery to me), I realized that I have completely lost my sense of I-feel-silly-this-is-embarassing-I-can't-do-this. And this is coming from someone who grew up painfully shy. I shimmied, I strutted, I shook my booty, I just went with it and you know what? It felt great! Who the h*ll cares who was watching or what they think!
Life's too short, girls. We've got to do it now! Whether that means acting a fool in public (like me ), or going shopping or dancing with your girls- DO IT! Whatever it is that you want, you deserve to have those things. We've got to stop judging ourselves, get out of our own way and live our lives- at ANY weight!
It is good to know I am not the only one! The problem with me is that I think that attitude is causing me to eat emotionally! The worse I feel about myself, the worse I eat! It is a horrible cycle! I started weight watchers a few weeks ago and I have not lost any weight so I am to scared to go back to a meeting! How pathetic! I have even put off seeing a doctor because I dont want to be weighed! I know I need to stop obsessing about how fat I am and start focusing on changing it so that I can jump out of the self pitty wagon!!!!
Yeah... I agree with what you guys say. But I can't say it's easy. When I was at 150, I was miss Full of Confidence, Don't care what anyone says about me, I'm FABULOUS! Then I gain 50 lbs and all of a sudden, I'm not me anymore. I'm not pretty anymore, I'm not personable anymore, I'm not happy anymore. It's like, I've set up all these rules for myself to punish myself for being fat. I don't know if that makes sense... So I feel like the only way of being myself, is by losing weight, and I can't be myself unless I lose it.
I was just talking to my mother about this same thing! The thing is, I don't even care what some guy thinks or if people are going to talk about me. I care that I personally hate the way I look. I just don't understand people that say they accept the way they are and have confidence. I could stand in front of the mirror for ten hours a day, every day, telling myself how beautiful I am, but at the end of the day I am still fat and I still hate it!
I told my mother that besides winning the lottery, losing weight is more important to me than anything else in my life. I don't know if its sadder that its so important to me or that I can't make myself lose it if it IS so important!
I'm not pretty anymore, I'm not personable anymore, I'm not happy anymore. It's like, I've set up all these rules for myself to punish myself for being fat.
You know what's great about this? If you're the one who has set up the rules, you can be the one to say f- that, the rules don't apply!
You are right though- it is SO not easy to let go of these things! I had the experience of living in another country where everywhere I went, I stuck out and if I was self-conscious before, this multiplied it by 100! I mean, people would call me "mzungu" (white person) like it was my name. I'd also answer to Teach-ah Mzungu and Mzungu-how-ah-you? Plus I was about 50 lbs heavier (NOBODY there was overweight), I HATED being the center of attention, yet everywhere I went it felt like I was in a freaking fishbowl. People at school would randomly make me get up on stage and make speeches at assemblies. There were a few weeks where I didn't want to go places because I just got sick of people staring at me, talking about me, etc. But I realized that I was going to miss out on this once-in-a-lifetime experience if I kept thinking/acting like this. So I kind of just decided to say f- this! It really came down to the fact that no matter what I did or how I acted, I was still going to stick out and be very different from the people around me- in a way that I had little to no control over! They might judge me and there's nothing I could do about it. Once I really understood this, it was so freeing! This was really the first time in my life that I was able to let go of all the self-consciousness and stop letting this fear of judgement hold me back. It was too important not to.
I don't know that I would have gotten there so quickly without such an extreme circumstance pushing me along, but it really highlighted the fact that I was holding myself back from living my life! In a way, I felt like I was more myself there because I didn't feel pressure to fit in- I just kind of assumed that I wouldn't fit in, I understood that I was different and I was OK with that, if that makes any sense. In other words, I wasn't trying to "be" anything other than myself. When I got home, I started to realize that having this attitude is a great way to live life in any country! I don't feel pressure to "fit in", I genuinely don't care if other people judge me (and I mean they might, I've been known to be pretty silly), I just do me. (See the catwalking in the park example from my previous post ).
I don't know you, but I KNOW that you have things about you that make you completely awesome. Try focusing on the positive for a while. Don't punish yourself. You don't deserve it!
Does anyone here have a difficult time living their life because of their weight?
I don't know if it's just me... but I can't seem to bring myself to do things because I feel like either everyone is judging me for being fat or because I'm feeling like crap about myself.
For example, I won't go out to my favorite billiards hall right down the street from my house because I feel like I'm too fat to go and everyone will judge me. I stopped being intimate with my boyfriend because I feel so self-conscious. I don't go anywhere you have to dress nicely because none of my clothes fit me anymore and it feels like I'm saying I lost if I buy new clothes. I don't like to see my friends that I haven't seen in a while because I think they'll judge me for being fat. I won't travel anywhere on vacation with my boyfriend because I'll think I'm being judged.
I mean.. the list goes on and on and on. The only excuse I give myself is, "I'll do it when I'm slender." And it's like.. everything I want to do I'm putting on hold until I've lost weight. I know this isn't healthy! But I don't know how to get over it! lol.
YES!!! To all of this, except i don't have a boyfriend.... because i know there is no way anyone would want me fat. And i don't try to meet anyone because i'm afraid if i went out it would be pointless because of my weight. I just don't feel good enough.
I also refuse to buy new clothes... i keep saying when my clothes fit again then i can go out and do stuff. I definitely avoid people/places because of how i look and tell myself i'll do more when i lose the weight. The sad thing is i will still be self concious. When I weighed 138 in college i still skipped classes all the time because i just felt too fat to go and didn't want to be judged.
My weight gets in the way of my life
