When the next weekly chat starts up, I'll be in AMERICA!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe it AT ALL.

I'm still in the midst of my exercise slump + going to farewell parties basically every day, so I'm a bit pudgier than I'd like. My legs, which used to be my pride and joy, are now jiggly and un-toned. I feel kind of helpless to do anything about it until I move (Sunday the 31st). Eating has been indulgent but not disgusting and I feel pretty confident I can whip myself into shape again.

My next "goal" is meeting my boyfriend's mom for the first time (we've been together for 5 years but timing just hasn't lined up...) the second weekend in August. She had some choice words to say about his last gf that included a jibe about her weight, so I want to look my best.

I'm also going to join an Overeaters Anonymous group when I get back to deal with my mild yet persistent binging issue. It's OK to weigh 10 pounds more than you want to, but it's not healthy to eat chocolate until I get a headache for no reason.

Stay safe in the heat wave, East Coasters, and best wishes and power to all of you to enjoy summer and feel good about life!

Hi everyone!

krampus - It's great that you've decided to take action with your problem, and I really think a group will help with that. Don't stress yourself out too much with the pressure of meeting your bf's Mum, some women can be very opinionated about the girlfriends of their sons! I remember when I visited my boyfriend and his parents looked out of a window, saw a bigger woman (she was pudgy, but not huge) and said with disgust "Urghh, look at that fatty, look how massive she is." Needless to say, I've never felt more uncomfortable because I was overweight at the time and my own Mother was bigger than that woman, so it really hurt to hear them say something like that. They never said anything about me, and are always really nice towards me, but sometimes I do think they look at me and think that I'm fat. Point is, the last thing you want is to stress too much about looking good to only trigger a binge. Weight loss is for you not at the foundation of it all, and if you keep building on that you'll only get stronger. Hope that makes sense!

---

I'm doing well, my period has kicked in (after 6 days of "spotting" urgh) and I'm getting really intense cramps =(. But the good news is that yesterday despite being in pain I went for a 4.5 mile run! I did it all without stopping and in 56 minutes. I'm being inducted at the local gym tomorrow to help with my cross training/strength workouts, so I'm super excited about that too. 10k in 3 weeks! Eep!

Krampus: I couldn't get that 'coming to America' song out of my head after your first line lol. I think it's great that you are trying to tackle your issues. I wish I could join a lazy persons anonymous.
Riestrella: That's so impressive! I cant imagine running for that long without stopping. Your training looks to be going well.

I have finally set some fitness goals. I've just never had any idea of what I should aim for or what was possible. After running my longest time ever without stopping (20 mins at 7.7kph) I decided that I would incredibly proud of myself if I ever managed to run 2 miles in 20 minutes.

I'm not sure if this is an average or below average speed to run at but I would be estatic. So today at the gym I was curious to see how long I could run at 9.7kpm and I actually ran for 5 minutes non stop and then a further 3!! I ran half of a 10 minute mile...I really am reaching for these achievements lol

krampus: Good luck meeting the boyfriend's mama! It can be scary. I just did the same thing myself a couple of weeks ago (fortunately, it went fine; she's a sweetheart and we loved each other!). I hope that this group is a community that is effective in helping you stop this unwanted behavior.

Riestrella: EURGH TOM. Oh well, it's better than the alternative. Thanks for adding me on Fitocracy; I'mma add you back as soon as I'm done with this post. ;p Keep up the good, hard work. You're going to be ready for that 10k!

supergir111: That's awesome that you've set some fitness goals. After poking around on the Internet, it really looks like many of the people whose weight loss is successful--and who maintain--are those who set fitness goals for themselves.


I came up with kind of a neat idea yesterday.

Even though I'm unemployed (still . . . ugh), I want to make certain that I'll have a good bit of money set aside when I reach my goal so I can buy myself LOTS. OF. CLOTHES. for my awesome new body.

So, here's what I'm going to do: I'm going to set aside 10 dollars every week I'm unemployed, and 20 a week once I'm working again (more, depending on my income), so that I have a nice big chunk of change to spend on brand new clothes.

That way, there's a big old hunk of money sitting around that I can't touch until I've made goal. And then I'll finally be able to afford a couple of the more pricey items I love in the fashion blogs I read.

I'm also working on setting myself some fitness goals. I've almost completely surpassed the goal I set for myself for July--596 minutes out of 600, so I'm going to kill that sucker today--so I figure that I'll wait until the end of July, see how many minutes I actually ended up doing, and then add 100 to that and make that my August goal.

Warning: RANT ahead....

Ugh, I am beyond crabby today. Beyond.

I spent the entire weekend WAY overindulging. At the time, I was so good at rationalizing it...... I didn't even miss any workouts. Today I feel heavy, unattractive, and sad.

I am starting to wonder if I will ever see a weight remotely close to what I'd like. I apparently have no willpower, motivation, or self discipline when it comes to food. I can exercise until my toenails fall off, but if you put food in front of me, it disappears. I hate hate HATE that I am still struggling with eating past the full (WAY full) point, purely because food is good. That is not a good reason to gorge. It's not like the Indian restaurant is going to vanish once I leave. Gosh.

Am I one of those people that has to avoid all temptation at all times, because it leads to a slippery slope of repeatedly craving and eating more? Can I learn how to enjoy "treats" or "trigger" foods in moderation? Or am I destined to a life of flip-flopping?

All of this weight loss business is coupled with the fact that I am also struggling with job dissatisfaction, anxiety/indecision about future plans for grad school, and the fact that I haven't gone on a date in.... many, many months. When my friends talk about their dating escapades, I want to melt into the floor and disappear, because I feel like a defective leper.

Guess I'll just keep plugging along, avoid weighing myself until August, stop thinking about the future for now, and deal with being alone.

----I'm done complaining now. Thanks for listening.


Krampus-YAY! So exciting! Travel safely, and remember, you are lovely whether his mother thinks so or not. I'd love to know how your experience is with OA, if you are comfortable sharing it. I might need it myself.

Riestrella-OoO 10K sounds like a fun challenge. I'm actually struggling to find one myself, to fit in to my 1/2 marathon training. I'm supposed to do one in a few weeks per the schedule, but there's none around here. Hmph. I'll just have to simulate one or something. Anyway, let us know how it goes!

Supergirl-Battling laziness is the worst. I hem and haw about exercise for hours before I get it done. But, I always feel better about myself after the workout, and always feel badly when I skip. That helps get me off my bum and out the door. Congrats with the running progress!

Bopbot-Hello there! The clothing plan sounds great. Job market is so crappy hang in there!

A week full of regularly scheduled work and overtime for me starts now... gross. I will try and check in as often as I can, hopefully with a sunnier disposition. Thanks again for tolerating my unnecessary whining. Wishing you all a strong and successful week.

-FPSJ

Hey Everyone. I have finally scheduled a doctor's appointment. I don't know if yall read my thread that I posted yesterday but it's a bout a disorder called "Binge Eating Disorder" which I truley believe i have. I am overwhelmed with how great I have done between September 2010 - April 2011 -- I dropped a lot of weight and I'm so proud. I have no big clothes anymore I gave them to goodwill. I just have small clothes and zilch money to get bigger clothes so I can't afford to gain anymore weight.

I find myself at times binging and I'm not talking a binge here and there I'm talking a FULL-DAY binge! Resulting in gains between 3-5 pounds and then Ill go 3 days doing good..get the 3 pounds off..and then repeating it all over again..when I binge I cry afterwards.. feeling depressed and feeling as if I'm disappointing EVERYONE around me...and myself. I feel like it's time to speak with my doctor about this that is why I made the appointment. I'm deff. not going to give up because I know as soon as I do..I will gain all the weight plus more back. I know all yall are here with great support so hopefully I can get it back together and start working out hard again and no-binging anymore! ...So to be accountable this morning I weighed in at 137.2 and most likely tomorrow morning will be higher -----
I'm officially back into the overweight range and feel every bit overweight and sluggish and sad!

Hopefully I can't post back here in a week or so with better results! Hope everyone is doing better than me!

Arrrrrrggggggg! I am alsi going to rant I'm so sorry!!!!!!!!! I want to CRY!!!!!!! I'm done with the first week of month 2 of insanity, I have stayed on plan like crazy and these workouts r ridiculous! I would say I am burnong AT LEAST 600 cals each one and when i got on tje scale yesterday morning what did it say? 160...WHAT...THE...HECK???!!!! OMG I was ready to toss my scale out the window! I know that ateast the mid 140s is comfortable for mu body that's where I was after I had my son and stayed there until I got pregnant with my daughter i saw the same 160 I saw the last weigh in and want!!ed to throw in the proverbial towel! You have got to be kidding me! Need some motivation to stick with this because its kicking my *** and I am staying in calorie range maybe water? I drink so much, 72 + ounces a day!!!!!!! Wow ok I'm finished just needed to fervour how pissed I am lol! Hopefully today will be good since u burned an extra 300 cals at the gym, I'm tempted to weigh in the middle of the week to see if that was a fluke! Grrrrrrrr! :devi

END RANT sorry!

FPSJ-Today is rant day so don't worry about it! I think you are so amazing for working out so hard and diligently, the food is somethimg we all struggle with. You just have to keep reminding yourself that you work so hard right now to get to goal, and tjat extra food ia going to take 6 miles to run off! That's what I do, if I really want some cookies or something I think ok, if that puts me over 200 calories I'm going to have to go run a mile and a half to keep it off my *** do i really want to do that? You are so close to where you want to be goal wise, and you are such an inspiration! Keep working hard and staying string and you WILL get there!

Bopbot-I love your clothes idea! Unfortunately I don't work so I camt "save" out of monthly checks lol! I think that it will feel amazingly empowering to buy a bunch of aeesome, pretty cpothea after you hit goal since you will know how hars you worked physically and financially for them! When I hit goal my hubbub said to treat myself but I have a TON of things in my closet that will fit from before preggers so not too much new stuff *sigh* lol!

Supergirl-congrats on the fitness goals, always a great idea! 10 min miles is actually a good steady pace for a run, especially if you are just starting running now. That's an awesome aspiration! Good luck and keep working hard!

Rie-I'm super stokes for your 10k! Woot! I remember the first one I ran, rheres nothung like crossing that finish line! Great job on the 4.5 keep it up! Race day you always run faster/longer because of adrenaline (at least in my experience with 10ks and a few half marathons) so I think you will kick total 10k ***!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Krampus-The light at the end of the tunnel! I hope that you are less stressed when this is all overz it has to be difficult . I know your bfs mom will love you, you are such a beautiful person! Just take it one day at a time and do what you need to do to keep yourself healthy. Praying for your safe travel and peace of mind/body in the mean time!

All right ladies I'm off to pound myself into the floor of my livimg room, sweating and snorting like a pig while Shaun T urges me to"dig deeper!" Some days I want to kick him in his rock hard butt lol! Have a good monday all!

Ladies so sorry about all the typing errors I did this on my phone!

Hang in there JL, I'm with you! Let us know what your doctor says.

Thank you for the support, munstermommy. You made me feel better.

hey ladies,

so the wedding i went to last week was great. it was a buffet style which made it so easy to stay on track with eating, and i was dancing so much i missed the cake, which is a double plus

i have another wedding on wednesday night up in central jersey (yes, for those of you not from ny, nj, pa or de we do have 3 sections to our small state...and they are VERY different). i'm quite excited because i've never been to the beaches up there before so it'll be my first time to the "jersey shore-mtv style" haha. we're heading up tomorrow so we can have a full day of beach time before the wedding. i'm excited.

as for the weightloss, i haven't budged. i really need to crack down on counting calories. i've been hoping that by somewhat watching my calories and working out, the weight will drop off like it did when i started losing, but that was 45 lbs heavier than i am now, and i need to accept that this weight will be FAR harder to lose than the first time around. grawr.

Munster: hang in there, chica. it's super frustrating and after something like that, you deserve to rant. it will get better. hugs.

JL: good luck tomorrow. it's good that you're taking the steps to find out what's going on and get better. so many people would just let that go until it got worse and worse. good for you for making a change. you should be proud!!

FPSJ: rant away, sister. we all have those days. ****, i've had those months. i know it's cliche, but don't give up and don't doubt yourself!

krampus: good luck with the bf mama!!! don't lose weight for her. lose weight for you. if she judges you because of your weight, chances are it's because she's insecure about her own. i'm sure things will go smoothly though!!

Hey everyone! Been sitting at 179 lbs for a few days now. So I'm super happy about that! Loving the 170s after starting this journey in the 180s! Give it time, I'll probably be having a fit over reaching the 160s haha. I'm going on a 3 mile run today, my 10k is in 3 weeks, still doesn't feel like it's real to be honest! I've got my gym induction tonight, can't wait to get on those bikes and weights!

---

bopbot - Thanks! That sounds like an awesome idea! Spending money will be a must when you want to go on that goal weight shopping spree. I personally can't wait for that moment when I can fit into smaller sizes and not feel like I have to cover up any pudgy bits or flab rolls! Hah!

FatPants - Big I think weight loss is a mental process too. It sounds like you've not quite got over your desire to eat loads of food, and that will have to be something you have to come to terms with. What is it about food that you love so much? Is it because you're anxious about your future plans or because you haven't had a date in a while that you feel food is just something great that you can indulge in right now? I think once you realise why you feel the need to eat so much you'll have a much better job controlling it - because you can remind yourself of why you did it in the first place. The first step is acknowledging it as a problem and then from there discovering why it's a problem.
As for the dating, I firmly believe you have to love yourself before you can allow others to love you, and once you do love yourself your self confidence will GLOW. I went throughout my life not being noticed by boys, and then in my first year at Uni when I was working out for the first time in forever and losing loads of weight 3 of them came along out of no where. It's a strange psychological thing tis self confidence!
But the point is, don't live in fear of the future and don't regret your past. Live in the present. I sent myself into depression and caused many panic attacks due to worrying about the future and worrying that I'm fat, ugly, worthless, meaningless - so I can speak from experience when I say I know how awful it feels. But you can take control of what you do today that shapes you into what you'll become in the future. It's all about right here, right now baby! Hope you feel better!

JLN - Don't forget how far you've come and how much weight you have lost. You've tripped up a bit, yes, but that doesn't mean you're going to gain all the weight back again. You don't want to - so seeking help will definitely help.

munster - Have you tried measuring yourself? I think it's a much more accurate way of tracking your progress, because weight is such a fickle thing. I wouldn't worry too much honey, you've been great with the Insanity workouts so I'm sure you're making progress. And tell me about it, can't wait to get over that finish line!

amyleigh - Just make sure you keep drinking water, watching what you eat/drink and remembering that travel also makes you retain water too! I learnt that on the biggest loser Have fun at the wedding! Oh how I <3 a wedding.

Thank you, Amy and Riestrella. Wise girls, you are!

Okay ladies, after yesterday's rant I think that I feel better, and I'm hoping that this week's weigh in goes better than last! I am hoping to see the 150s at the end of this week, but I am serious I have no clue how I lost nothing last week! Oh well, a body with crazy hormones from having 2 kids just can't be predictable I guess! Today is going good, went to the gym with the baby girl (my son is at Grandma's house, oh the quiet! lol) and I am going to do Insanity after her nap. I am hoping that working out twice will help get me off this 160 plateau! Yesterday had a serious yearning for pizza, but because I don't want to spend the money (sigh) I couldn't get it which was good for calorie counting lol! Hated Shaun T yesterday, wanted to seriously punch him when he kept saying, "we're here for you, dig deeper, let's go faster" I was like dude, there is absolutely no FREAKIN way my *** is going any faster!!!!! haha, hopefully today I will appreciate his encouragement!

FPSJ-I'm glad I could help! I hope that you are feeling better and just keep on that exercise regime, it will get you where you want to go!

Rie-I'm SUPER excited for you that you finally broke that 180!!!! I know that has been something you have been working on for a little bit. I think my 160 might be like your 180, hoping that tweaking a few things will make it go a little more quickly! I have been measuring myself, and I have lost some inches, but that combined with the weight loss doesn't really seem like enough. I am wondering if my body is just too well conditioned to lose on this program (since I was running and training a lot before and during pregnancy). I think that when this is done I'm going to start p90x, which is a lot more weight training, which I haven't done in a long time plus start back into training running and see if the switch will help. For now though, I love the workouts and how I feel after so that in itself is great! Thanks for the advice and encouragement!

Amy-WOOHOO BEACH lol! Bummer on the scale, trust me that is me too right now. It is frustrating, just stay on top of the calories and that will probably bring weight off super fast if you haven't been really tight with it lately. It is hard to do that when you are out doing things because you don't know the exact calories of what you are eating. The encouragement helps, I am hoping to see a scale movement after this week! Have fun living it up "jersey shore style" lol!

Okay girls, here's to have a good rest of the week and for everyone to see downward movement on the scale! Keep working ladies and hopefully we can all get much closer to goal by the end of the summer!

munster - Haha, your exercise posts always make me smile! Have you looked into Jillian Michaels's "Making the Cut"? It's pretty much for people who want to lose the last 20 lbs but struggle to do so. I have a digital copy of it if you want me to send it to you. It basically comes with a diet plan and a daily exercise plan that lasts 30 days. I wasn't trying to lose the last 20 lbs, but I lost about 10 lbs when I did do it. Just make sure you're eating enough food so your body doesn't think "what the **** is this woman doing?!" and enter into emergency food storage mode!!

hey guys, haven't posted in a while. looks like everybody's in rant-mode. lol.

i've been back on my diet plan since sunday, and i've even started doing exercising (30DS) again and did it both monday and tuesday, for which i am super proud of myself. on tuesday morning i was rewarded by seeing the scale drop a whole kilo, but then last night there was a goodbye party for the people (7 of them!) who are leaving my city/company in Japan and going back to their own country. obviously, i ate/drank too much. honestly, i didn't think i did that bad. it was buffet style and the portions were super tiny (it's japan...) and i had everything once but never went back for seconds. i also had about 4 drinks. all in all, i think i did very well, but it was just way over the amount of calories i need to be eating to lose weight *sigh* so this morning the scale was up again, but i am trying not to let it discourage me.

tonight i'm going to see harry potter, and there will be popcorn. argh! i'm planning on making it my "dinner" though, so should be ok, right?