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Old 07-27-2011, 08:23 PM   #1  
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Default So confused

The same people who were telling me how much I needed to lose weight and now telling me "oh you should stop losing weight. You don't want to be too thin" ... I just became overweight yesterday. Why if I'm still borderline obese would anyone say that I should stop losing weight? I don't get it. I don't know if there is anything to get. When I look in the mirror I see the same person for the most part except my face looks thin and my back fat is a little smaller. I don't look thin at all. Not even close to looking like the person I want to be yet (still have the cottage cheese legs, 1 pack abs, an arrow for a belly button, and my tricep waves when I wave my hand)

Have you had someone say something ridiculous like that?
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Old 07-27-2011, 08:40 PM   #2  
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In my experience once you start showing progress, people suddenly get jealous of the changes you have been able to make and the physical show of your weight loss journey. They wish that they could do the same thing, but aren't able to express that in a positive way. They want you to stop losing the weight because it makes them feel inadequate, or if they are skinny they want to keep feeling superior to you (even if they are nice to you in general I have seen this happen). You aren't losing the weight for them, you are losing it for yourself, so I say go on girl, kick some lb ***! You are doing great and no one should encourage you to stop your path to your goal. Looking great is just one side benefit of what you are doing, in reality you are just trying to be the healthiest you possible, which means dropping from the overweight range into the healthy range. Keep going you can do it!
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Old 07-27-2011, 08:54 PM   #3  
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I don't know why it is but people feel compelled to say something about our weight. Most of them have no idea what they are talking about.
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Old 07-27-2011, 09:00 PM   #4  
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People can be really hard to read with these kinds of things....they can say this to you and depending on who is saying it, the motive can be very different. It could indeed be jealousy or inadequate feelings. It could be real concern. It could be that some people are just critical no matter what. It could also be that they like a certain build. It could be that some people don't like change and some of them may be afraid that with your ever changing body, your interests and personality may change as well. There could be other reasons.

But ultimately, it's nobody's business. It's up to you and it's up to your body and you have every right to be as healthy as you can be. So don't let that kind of talk discourage you....just the opposite! Let it fuel your fire so that you can reach your goals!
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Old 07-27-2011, 09:08 PM   #5  
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Part of it may be as a compliment. You know, the whole, 'Oh my gosh, you're so thin! So thin, in fact, you should stop!' Maybe they're just trying to be overly friendly.

Perhaps they're jealous. It's hard to watch someone change their lives, because it makes you take a good look at your own choices, and then when you realize you're fat and sick of your own doing, but still unwilling to make changes... ouch.

Finally, if you're American... I have noticed that Americans often now think fat is the norm. If you're not twenty pounds overweight, you're suddenly anorexic. Our society is so set on making everyone feel good about themselves regarding body image that it has actually gone the OPPOSITE way. Not to say that anyone should hate their bodies, but they should be aware of what is healthy and what is not, and it is not okay to pretend that being way overweight is medically acceptable.

But yeah, it's hard to know what the reasoning is. Just ignore them, and change the subject, and hopefully they'll get it and lay off.
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Old 07-27-2011, 09:12 PM   #6  
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Yeah! Thanks for the input! I'm hoping my fire will keep going the same pace. I really want the body I have been working so hard for. The people who are saying it are thin. I have my goal as a number right now but I listen to my body. I know I'm not close to done. I feel like when my body is ready it will tell me it's time to maintain. Last time I lost weight I was nervous about the idea of seeing my hip bone but I'm ready for it this time. I was a size 12 (145) when I saw it... it's weird-- I'm a size 10/12 now and I don't see it but I still have 15 pounds to 145. My brother told me the last time to give myself time to get used to my body changing. I need to make sure I keep positive people around so it helps cancel out the negative. I love this forum.
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Old 07-27-2011, 11:12 PM   #7  
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Those people sound pretty silly. It's fine to keep losing at your size! I do have a friend though that lost 200 lbs and now literally looks like a skeleton he is so underweight, maybe they're just worried you might take it too far? Some people lose the weight but still mentally think they're heavier and keep trying to lose despite being at a healthy weight.
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Old 07-27-2011, 11:39 PM   #8  
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I think people who knew you at your highest weight have a different perspective. If you walked up to someone you never met before and asked them if you should lose weight, in an honest world they would probably say yes. With people who knew you at your highest weight though, it's different. To them you probably look a lot smaller...and in their mind maybe they're only comparing you to how you used to be and not to someone who is a healthy weight. They see that you're probably much smaller and they are scared about you taking it too far....but I wouldn't worry about it. You need to do what's best for you. Just tell them that it's your body and your life and you're doing everything you can to become a healthier, happier person...and that while you appreciate their advice, you know that you have further to go on your journey before you reach a stopping point. If they won't listen and you really care about their opinions...then measure your waist and compare it to healthy waist measurements and show it to them, or show them your BMI compared to healthy BMIs, and try and explain to them that you haven't reached a healthy weight yet. You've done incredible things, and you should be proud of everything you've accomplished!
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