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-   -   Bathing suit question (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/20-somethings/237935-bathing-suit-question.html)

shellofself 07-12-2011 07:18 PM

Bathing suit question
I wanted to know what do you guys think about plus-sized women in barely there bathing suits?

Brave, inappropriate, both or other?? :^:

I won't be wearing a bikini this summer. I'm not that gutsy! If I even venture to the beach - GAH - I'm sticking to the full bathing suit cover up!

dragonfly21 07-12-2011 07:28 PM

brave! and not inappropriate.

confidence is key though. its painful to watch girls with bellies who are trying so hard to suck in and cover their stomach with their hands constantly. you gotta own it!

MariaMaria 07-12-2011 08:27 PM

Not my place to judge anyone else.

Really, really unimpressed that someone thinks they have the right to tell me, you, or the gal on the next towel what she's supposed to be wearing. Make yourself perfect before telling me I'm inappropriate.

luckyme0510 07-12-2011 08:36 PM

Interesting question...

IMHO... some girls look really good even when they gain weight and their midsections aren't covered in stretch marks and cellulite... they should absolutely wear bikinis!

I wore a bikini when I was overweight before having my daughter... I was still generally cellulite and stretch mark free... I had some stretchmarks on my thighs which aren't covered by any regular bathing suit anyway. I will not wear a bikini anymore though... not after pregnancy... too much jiggle and waaayyyy to many super noticeable stretch marks.

If an overweight woman feels comfortable in a bikini than she should absolutely go for it... if you don't look good in a bikini for whatever reason just be prepared for some rude comments and stares... I personally wouldn't want to brave it.

bleujean 07-12-2011 08:57 PM

I lived in Sweden when I was heavier and spent the summer searching for a bathing suit. I was so annoyed that there weren't any one pieces in bigger sizes.I thought that was crazy. Then I thought about it and was like, y'know...why shouldn't women be allowed to show off their bodies just because those bodies are bigger? Do I really want to support a culture that encourages anyone who isn't a stick to not wear what they want to wear?

So I bought a bikini. And felt like a whale for 5 minutes and then said f-it and rocked that thing all summer!!

kaplods 07-12-2011 09:26 PM

I'm not in my 20's, but I had to respond to this one, because it's so important to me, because I still know too many women (even thin women) who won't go swimming, because they're afraid of being seen in a swimming suit because their bodies aren't perfect. Even when magazines show "imperfect" bodies to show which suits are more flattering - even the bodies portrayed as imperfect are usually still pretty darn close to being perfect. It's enough to make women with perfect and nearly perfect bodies self-conscious. And enough to terrify anyone working with less than perfection.

When I was growing up plus-sized girls and women had a tough time even finding a swimming suit in her size. Often I didn't get to choose a suit, I bought what I could find (or maybe had a choice between two or at most three suits). I started developing in 3rd grade and in 4th grade had my period and was at my full height (5'7"), wearing women's sizes (I've been overweight since kindergarten).

My mother (and society as a whole) had so many "rules" for less-than-perfect women when it came to bathing suits, that a lot of thin women wouldn't be caught dead in a swimming suit. Sadly, that's still true today, but at least the social pressure has lessened somewhat, and the choice in bathing suits has gotten much better.

I came to HATE solid colored black, navy or brown swimsuits because those were the only colors my mother approved of. Every suit had to have a skirt (that ideally came down as close to the knee as possible).

Every "rule" I broke was a win. In the 70's, I went along with the skirted suits, because those were pretty much all that was available in plus sized, but any time I could get a suit with color (especially more than one) I celebrated.

On one hand, I think Americans are too squeamish about nudity. In many parts of the world, nudity at the beach is considered entirely appropriate, but I wasn't raised there so I am still squeamish about excess exposure, but I don't think the "rules" should be different for women based on size. I don't particularly like thongs on anyone - fat, small, male, female. I'd just rather not see that much of anyone's butt. And I think a bikini top should at least cover a woman's areola. I'm also not a huge fan of seeing pubic hair - either peeking out of a suit or under a suit so sheer that you can see pubic hair and every mole (and afore meantioned areolas). I think tampon strings should be tucked in.

Otherwise, I think women and men should be free to wear whatever they wish. I'm not really super fond of seeing a large person wearing a bikini bottom or speedo that is entirely hidden by the stomach overhang. From the front, it looks like the person is naked from the waist down (and if it's a man, as if he has no genitals). But everything that has to be covered is, so that's more an aesthetic complaint (I suppose all of my opinions are purely asthetic. If the person wants to dress in a way I find creepy, who am I to judge?

I do know that I swim more when I think my swimming suit looks great (even if I know I don't look great in it). A beutiful, sexy suit can really make me feel like I belong in the water. That I am CLAIMING the water, not just trying to hide in the darkest, solid color, most-covering suit I can find.

I've never worn a bikini, but I would wear a bikini top and a skirted bottom before I wore a suit that didn't cover my thighs. Maybe that's because I've lost most of my middle bulge (I would still look naked from the waist down in a bikini bottom).

I do wish there were more suits available with more coverage, but that's because I want one, not because I think anyone else should. Many of the muslim women in a health club my husband and I belonged to, wore suits that covered their legs to the knee and arms to the elbow. They were beautiful suits (bright colors in lycra fabric).

It did inspire me to repurpose a lycra print top with 3/4 sleeves as my swim suit top. I wear it with a knit regular bra underneath (swim suit bras often don't have enough support), and a skirted bottom.

What's kind of funny and a little sad is that I've had so many woman admire my suit, asking me where I got it, obviously excited to find that someone made a suit with sleeves, and then be deeply disappointed when I tell them that that the top wasn't designed as a swim suit. If it was a swimsuit, designed by someone, they wanted one, but when they learned it was my own "invention" they wanted no part of it (too weird to wear a bra and lycra top - that's not reallly a swimsuit. Some women have said that - and I said "You thought it was a swimsuit until I told you otherise, and I'm swimming in it, so that makes it a swim suit").

luciddepths 07-12-2011 09:45 PM

I think its great when someone is comfortable and overweight, but when someone walks.. and EVERYTHING moves? i think thats inappropriate or when the bottom part of the bikini has a huge flab of skin over it (not talking about alittle but... a lot)...

JessLess 07-12-2011 09:53 PM

I think anyone confident enough to rock a bikini or small suit should rock it, regardless of size, cellulite, or anything else.

effie12 07-12-2011 10:13 PM

I think confidence is key. I am way too deep in the 'poor body image' hole to even imagine myself in anything but my regular racing bathing suit that I swim laps in. And frankly, even that makes me severely uncomfortable.

All that being said, I have spent a good deal of time on nude or partially nude beaches in Europe (never anywhere near naked myself), and sometimes that got a little too much for me. I'm not a prude, after all I'm studying art history which is essentially (at least the period I focus on), the study of the female nude, but it gets very strange when strangers are super close with all of their baggage hanging out.

At the end of the day, it is their body and not mine. I may not have chosen to display myself in that way if I were them, but I'm not. They can wear what they like on the beach. It is a beach, after all, and not a wedding.

kaplods 07-12-2011 10:39 PM


Originally Posted by luciddepths (Post 3933901)
I think its great when someone is comfortable and overweight, but when someone walks.. and EVERYTHING moves? i think thats inappropriate or when the bottom part of the bikini has a huge flab of skin over it (not talking about alittle but... a lot)...

You know part of me agrees, but it's a small part, and that's because if "EVERYTHING" moves and jiggles, you can't feel covered up enough. A winter parka and snow pants aren't enough to hide the jiggle.

If I covered up every part that jiggles, I'd have to be covered from the eyeballs downward, with only my hands and feet showing (even my ankles and wrists would have to be covered).

There are so many self-appointed fashion police, and so many socially-determined double standards, it can drive self-esteem to the devil.

I have so many fashion don'ts drilled into my head from my family and our culture, it get's ridiculous. I can't wear anything without breaking a fashion rule, and I can't wear nothing, because that would really be revolting, and I'd have to poke out my eyes those of anyone who accidentally saw me, but then again they'd poke their eyes out before I could get to them (thankfully my husband and I don't believe that. Fat sex is awkard enough without trying to do it clothed).

Only wear dark colors, they're slimming.

Never wear bright colors, you'll look fatter (besides what do you have to be so cheerful about).

Never wear a skirt above the knee (knee fat is ugly, especially back of the knee fat, ew gross).

Never wear a skirt that is too long, it will make you look too old (or too like a hippy).

Never wear a skirt that is very full, it will make you look wider.

Never wear too sheer a skirt, people might see an outline or some jiggle.

Never wear too heavy a fabric, it will make you look bigger.

Never wear a skirt without nylons (if you can't wear nylons because they blister your thighs - too bad for you).

Never wear a skirt with flats (if you can't wear heels because they're uncomfortable or you twist your ankles, well that's too bad for you too).

To recap skir rules, when wearing a skirt, always choose dark, solid-colored skirts that aren't too thin, and aren't too wide, aren't too thin of material and aren't too heavy a material, aren't too short, aren't too long, always with nylons and always with heels.

Never wear short sleeves. 3/4 length sleeves are pushing it.

Never, ever, ever, ever wear strapless or sleeveless tops. Arm fat is really super, super gross (all that jiggling and all). If it's 120 degrees in the shade, well too bad for you.

Sweating is ugly. Fat people should never, ever, ever let anyone see them sweat (which means if it's 120 degrees in the shade, you have to stay hidden in your house, because otherwise they'll see you sweating - and fat, sweaty people are REALLY gross).

Never wear shorts, ever (see previous sweating and knee fat rules). Capris are acceptable if and only if you have nice ankles. If you have cankles - too bad for you, no capris.

Never, ever, ever wear white pants - you'll look like a cow.

Never, ever, ever wear slinky knits - your cellulite will show through - and no one wants to see that.

Never go braless, you want to put out someone's eye.

Never run anywhere, you will jiggle, and that's just gross (as we've already established).

Never wear linen. Wrinkles are bad, and on fat people it's a crime.

Never let anyone see your belly, not even a tiny bit - Jiggling, you know.

Never wear a belt, and never tuck your blouse in, You'll look like humpty Dumpty.

Never wear your blouse untucked - it looks sloppy (how you manage to always tuck and never tuck at the same time, I don't know. I just know that both are "wrong").

Never wear clothing that's too big. Never wear clothing that's too tight (what's too tight? what's too lose? Everyone has an opinion, and whatever you think, is probably wrong).

Even if you have great boobs, don't show any cleavage - you'll look like a slut. And looking like a slut is bad, but looking like a fat slut is just pitiful.

Never, ever, ever, ever be seen in a swimsuit. Never ever go swimming (even in shorts and a bra and t-shirt because wet t-shirts show the jiggle) even if swimming is the only exercise you can do. Even if in the water is the only place you can feel physically comfortable. 150 degrees outside, too bad no swimming for you.

If you are rude enough to wear a swimsuit, make sure it looks like a tank (not a cute tank top - an army tank. Very thick, very dark, very confining, and ideally bullet proof).

Always wear full makeup and have your hair carefully styled - otherwise people will assume you don't bathe.

Don't wear anything that's not in fashion. Being fat is bad enough, but being fat and uncool, that's just sad.

If it's in fashion, you probably shouldn't wear it. Who do you think you are, anyway? Definitely not someone who deserves to be hip. And a fat person trying to be hip is just really sad. You must choose clothes that are in fashion enough not to be uncool, but not so fashionable that they're trendy.

If you want to look sexy, don't bother you can't.

Always have sex fully clothed and with the lights off - better yet don't have sex at all, you really don't have the right.

Above all, never let anyone see you naked or even nearly naked - not your doctor, not your lover, not your husband, not even yourself. No one needs to see that!

Cover your mirror - shut your blinds, stay indoors - no one should be forced to look at you until you're normal-sized and not so jiggly.

sheramama 07-12-2011 10:54 PM

Okay maybe its just my own body issues here, but I don't think a string bikini is appropriate when it doesnt cover anything that umn should be. You can wear them at home but places, especially the amusement park variety, should not. I also think the same goes for skinny girls with their butts hanging all out. Don't want to see that either.

Lovely 07-12-2011 10:57 PM

Don't care. Too busy finding beauty and wonder in everything to give a crap about what someone who is not me wears to the beach.

Heck, I'd go to a nude beach if there were one in the area. That's how little I care about nudity no matter what a person's size.

luciddepths 07-13-2011 12:52 AM

WOW and people wonder why there is so many arguments on this forum. I'm not sure why you needed to go on a rant like that.

I have no problem saying i DONT want to see a person in a bikini when everything jiggles. Not just alittle bit of "general" fat.. i'm referring to Obese jiggle.

there is some beautiful plus size models in bikini's yes. BUT their everything isnt rocking around.

kaplods 07-13-2011 01:38 AM

It wasn't a rant, it was a joke - illustrating the irony and "can't win" situation of all clothing expectations for the very overweight. There's absolutely no way to please everyone, because there are so many double standards for folks with any, but especially a lot of jiggle (While it was a joke - not a single one of those "rules" were ones I made up. And I'm sure many women here could add their own rules that they were raised with, that I didn't even think of).

There's a huge double standard regarding clothing for women with extra jiggle. And it's a slippery slope to boot, deciding that some women are entitled to be essentially 99.9% nude in public, while other women less blessed, are socially obligated to protect the community from the trauma of witnessing unsightly jiggling by wearing winter clothing all year round..


Originally Posted by luciddepths (Post 3934113)
I have no problem saying i DONT want to see a person in a bikini when everything jiggles. Not just alittle bit of "general" fat.. i'm referring to Obese jiggle.

Of course, because "just a little bit of general fat" is considered unattractive, but for the most part, socially acceptable, but the obese are socially obligated to protect others from the horror that is their bare flesh, wherever it happens to be on their body. And if it's everywhere, there are many who will expect them to cover everything - or to stay in their homes until they reach an acceptable level of non-jiggliness.

Over and over again, you find posts on this site from women (many who are barely overweight) who spend all summer in full-length pants and long sleeves, because they feel obligated to protect the general public from the horror that is their jiggling. They're terrified of going to the beach or wearing a tank top or shorts when the weather is unbearably hot.

That people are so judgemental of obese jiggling does make many women (even non-obese ones who just think they saw some jiggle in their thighs or arms) terrified of going to the beach or the pool, or even outside their own home.


Originally Posted by luciddepths (Post 3934113)
there is some beautiful plus size models in bikini's yes. BUT their everything isnt rocking around.

Yes, because God forbid a less than perfect body be exposed. While it's ok for a beautiful woman to wear practically nothing at the beach, a really fat woman practically has cover every inch, regardless of the weather or face scorn and ridicule.

And there's no acceptable and feasible solution. If you wear a bikini, you're too exposed. But you can't wear any style of bathing suit that will meet with general approval. If your thighs jiggle enough, people expect you to cover those thighs. If your arms jiggle too much, you're supposed to cover those too (even if there are no swim suits with sleeves - so you're supposed to wear a t-shirt or cover up over it). And if you're hugely fat, and everything jiggles -well you're not supposed to go to the beach at all, and ideally you should hide in your home until you've reached a socially acceptable size.

It's crazy that these messages are so ingrained that even though I feel I have the right to wear a tank top and shorts in 90 degree weather, the very thought of doing either makes me physically ill. I'd like to be able to wear shorts and a tank top in public on a hot day, but I can barely do it around my own home.

Even though I'm mentally able to say "I should wear what's comfortable and easiest to swim in," I can't follow through. Feeling the need (or even desire) to have my arms covered to the elbow - even in the hottest weather, even in the pool - that's just so ridiculous.

As a general rule, we're so opposed to jiggling that we don't care if a woman is physically uncomfortable - as long as she covers up anything that jiggles or "looks gross."

I look gross to many people. I could wear a burka and still many people would argue that I should stay home rather than walk around in public like I thought I deserved to or something.

I was trying to illustrate why so many overweight women (and women who just think they are) are so body-conscious and so fearful of going out in public at all - because there is no way to win. There's no way to escape the disapproval when you have unavoidable jiggling. If you swim with a normal bathing suit, you're disgusting, and if you swim in something that covers you, you're odd for not wearing a traditional bathing suit.

Iconised Ghost 07-13-2011 03:00 AM


Originally Posted by Lovely (Post 3934001)
Don't care. Too busy finding beauty and wonder in everything to give a crap about what someone who is not me wears to the beach.

I really love this

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