I’m not quite sure what I should say, really, because I’m not happy, and I’m not proud. Last February, I weighed about 165lbs. last March when I was last here, I was hovering around 170lbs, being good for 2-3 days, then slipping, then being good again, then slipping, and then, after the earthquake, I somehow felt like I didn’t really give a **** about dieting anymore, and it’s been nightly bingeing for the last 3 months or so… I’ve tried to kick-start my diet a few times here and there, and succeeded for one week, at the longest, and I think this is the only reason that I haven’t bloated into even bigger of a balloon than I have.
I’m 180lbs now. it’s almost where I was at last summer. wtf happened?! I kept telling myself, when I was gaining it back “well at least you’re still thinner than last summer”… well guess what hun… not by much! every time I look in the mirror, I see the double-chin and the massive *** that wasn’t there before… I barely fit into most of my clothes, (and I can’t buy bigger ones because I live in Japan) and I threw away all my “fat clothes” last year, when I was doing so well…
so I decided to give it another go. not only do I want to fit into cuter clothes, but I want to fit in the clothes I already own!!! I don’t like the way I look right now, and it’s only up to me to change that, but it’s honestly been SO hard to put the cakes away… lol. feels kinda pathetic writing that, but it’s the truth. Anyhow, I’ve started “dieting” again since Monday, and yesterday, I exercised for the first time in months. I did 30DS level 1, and I kid you not girls, I cried. I couldn’t even do all of it (had to take breaks
) and I cried. it made me realize how ****ing out of shape that was. it’s insane.Anyways, I’m back, and I hope you’ll have me back! I know this website was really helpful the first time around, so hopefully I can find some motivation again on here.
that’s all, peace out.



