[Cookiebear23]

My beloved golden retriever, Ruby, passed away one month shy of her 15th birthday this morning. She had a long life, but she was in a lot of pain near the end. She was actually in the hospital hooked up to an IV to try and flush out the nastiness of kidney failure. I've been so busy raising my own puppy (also a golden retriever - the one in my icon) and finishing up law school/studying for the bar that I haven't visited my parents' house since Christmas.

I can't stop crying or even get myself out of bed. I managed to choke down some sushi a little while ago, but I didn't even want to. Between this and the stress of the bar exam (part 2 is in under 2 weeks, and I've barely started), I want to give up. The stress of constantly watching what I eat and trying to exercise 4-5x a week just feels like too much.

I already went through this once, not so long ago. My kitten died of FIP at only 11 months and I was in bed for a week. Two deaths in under a year just feels so painful.

[bargoo]

So sorry to hear of the lost of your precious pet. Remember you gave him love and a home for 15 years.

[lilmomma2011]

I understand your pain. I have a 14 year old cocker spaniel named Fudge that I know doesn't have much longer. But I remind myself that I don't want him to suffer. And I am sure you did not want Ruby to suffer any longer. She is out of pain. Now you just have to work on healing your own pain. God bless you and Ruby.

[ButterCup85]

I am so sorry for your loss. I completely understand. I've had to put down many animals and watch some go as well. It's very difficult. My cat of 9 years got out 12 days ago. My heart has been broken. I assume, and have to think he's alive somewhere but it hurt A LOT. He slept with me in bed. He waited for me when I showered, he was my little shadow. When I had penumonia he just laid with me all day for 5 days in my bed.

Animals are great. They become our family, and are there for us more than many people. I completely understand. I didn't exercise for days after Moe got out. Actually, today is the first day since. I found it hard to eat as well, and have stress of finding a job and money problems. But, I just kept praying and asking for peace.

I still can't go outside without hollering his name, and I can't sleep in my bed (pathetic I know). I've taken sleep time to the couch. He was there through 6 moves, my ex husband going to prison and coming home, and then a divorce and me moving back home. It's hard but it gets easier. I just know, as cheesy as it sounds no matter where our babies are they'd want us to keep getting better and healthier, they're proud of us. No one would want us to give up completely. A break, there's nothing wrong with we all need one sometimes. I mean, taking some time off isn't the worst thing in the world.

You are grieving and that is perfectly okay. For me, Moe is the only family I have other than my mom. Since he's been gone I genuinely feel like I lost my best friend. Human or not.

It does get easier, be gently with yourself. Let yourself cry and miss Ruby. I comfort my self by constantly asking God for peace- I haven't cried at all yesterday or today. I also remind myself I will see my Momar again (I truly believe it) even if it is in heaven and years from now. We'll be together again and I'll give him a big hug.

I've also found that thinking of all he went through with me, all the goofy things he did, he has blessed my life so very much. Just like I'm sure Ruby has. And though we are sad and will cry, we can be happy we had them and were blessed with all the simple, important things animals teach us.

I miss Moe, but I wouldn't had traded the years with him for nothing. He made my life so much brighter. Like I'm sure Ruby did for you as well. And, one day once we're done grieving we'll remember them with only smiles. I plan to get another animal within 6 months- a year. Right now I can't. I feel like I'd be trying to replace Moe. I love animals and so many need a home, and when I get one it deserves my full attention- not me expecting him/her to be like my other baby.

It will be okay, don't be hard on yourself, it's okay to grieve and it gets easier. We are blessed to have someone we loved so much who loved us as well- unconditionally even.

I pray you have peace and comfort. Remember we WILL see them again one day. Whether in heaven, in our dreams, or in another life. Whatever your beliefs it isn't the end. Moe is my baby, I love him like a mother loves a child- though not many understand that. I expect that God will let me see him again

[Koolmum]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my Rottweiler furbaby of 14 years on April 29th. I cried for days.
Don't give up ~ the grief will become manageable and soon you will be smiling while remembering the good times. Letting a suffering pet go is the most loving thing you can do.
You will feel more stressed out if you stop working out and feed your body unhealthy food. The work outs help so much with stress.
Hang in there and let it out ~ it's OK to cry and grieve ~ it's normal and healthy.
((((((Cookiebear23))))))

[Cookiebear23]

Thank you all so much for your kind words. I know that it will feel better someday, but today is not that day. And it probably won't be this week either. I was only able to talk about Julie (she passed away last September) without crying several weeks after it happened. It just hurts so much right now.

Buttercup - I cried some more when I read your post. You know exactly how I feel. I pray that you will find Moe again; he sounds like a wonderful kitty.

Koolmum - so sorry about the loss of your rottweiler. I know you are right. I just have to find the strength to get back on track.

[IsabellaOlivia]

Sweetie. The first time after a death just absolutely sucks and that's completely normal. Just allow yourself to feel down.

[MonicaM]

I do not understand why you want to give up. I have had many losses in my life and have never related it to giving up on myself. I have held my mother's hand, stood by my best friend's bed, held my favorite two dogs, cuddled my sweet cat, when they all passed. The last thing I thought was that I should give up on myself.

LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING

[ButterCup85]

MonicaM- everyone deals with it differently. This isn't for you to understand, maybe all she needed was someone to listen. She obviously is looking for comfort in a time that is hard FOR HER. Not everyone deals with things the same way. Your post wasn't uplifting in any way, maybe even a bit offensive. I'm glad you get through things so easily, but not everyone does. I'm not being rude, but you offended me. And it did not feel sincere or like you even care. I'd hate to be a friend of yours and be upset about something. Sometimes we (some people) just need a shoulder to cry on.

[pointless2011]

I am so sorry =( When I was born my parents got a kitty and we lived unseparated for 14 years before we had to move to U.S. it was hard leaving him behind he never left my side and always cried when I left for kindergarden/school. Not long after we left, my gma called and said that he was sick for 2 weeks and passed away. I know how it feels to lose a dear pet, they are seriosly like human beings. You will get through this. I suggest removing pictures of him for at least 2 months and try to keep your mind off.. After 5 years I took out the pictures and finally had a good smile when I looked at them without crying.

[abetterme]

I am so sorry for your loss. I went through this a couple of years ago with my dog who was about the same age as Ruby. Don't give up on yourself. I know it's hard, but I believe you can do it.

[Fit4Lyfe]

Honey, I am so sorry...I remember when Bear, my Rottweiler, passed away from kidney failure at 19 (which is unheard of for Rotts)...it was the worst feeling in the world, towards the end, he was deaf and blind, could not get up barely and was in constant pain. One morning, during summer break, I woke up and he was gone (mercifully, God allowed me to spend one last summer with him, as I was away at college by then, he slept at the foot of my bed that entire summer) and I just cried, I was bawling like a newborn baby. But then my dad made me see it another way, Bear was in pain, the world had went black for him, he couldn't hear, he was barely able to bark, he only knew us by smell and his appetite was nonexistent. It was hard for him to be gone, but I was glad he was no longer in pain.

I say all of this to let you know, that I understand and that it hurts to lose a member of your family; my prayers go out to you and yours during this awful time. Having said that, I will say, you want to take a break? Take a break, but don't give up, Ruby would want you to be healthy and live a healthy life, she loved you and when you love someone, you want them to live a fully and happy life. Take your time and my deepest condolences.

[Jelma]

I am sorry for your loss Cookiebear. I put my 13 year old shepherd down April 23rd, it was the hardest thing I had to do. Ruby had a wonderful life, just like my baby did. It was next to impossible for me to not have feelings of guilt and regret when I lost Maya but she and Ruby are happy and painfree wherever they are now.

[curlysue82]

Sorry for your loss time is a great healer.. i know its hard.. hang in there.. hugs

[thinin08]

I am so sorry for your loss. I went through this in 1998 with our beloved 15 year old shih tsu. He grew up with my children and I felt like I had lost a child. Let yourself grieve. Be gentle with yourself.