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-   -   Have you ever skipped an event/gathering? (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/20-somethings/234422-have-you-ever-skipped-event-gathering.html)

pixelllate 05-30-2011 09:39 PM

Have you ever skipped an event/gathering?
 
I decided not to go to my parent's home, and therefore a family friend's baby shower. That wasn't entirely intentional, because I didn't know that I could have gone (thought that I was not invited). Part of me is bummed, because I guess that I could have gone, but not...totally because I know that if I went, I would have gone way over my calorie limit. Setting is important for me and at my parent's home, I cannot resist food. So I am sad and annoyed because my sister tells me afterwards that I was invited...but not totally because I also got my period and the cravings came-I ate more than usual but here, I can control what I eat and I didn't do a big binge like I would have at home.
Anyone else ever skip out on an event?

luckymommy 05-30-2011 09:48 PM

Absolutely! Even today, a mom of one of my boy's friends asked me to come over for a little party she was having....she said there would be lots of food. I immediately told her that I just can't go and I was honest with her about the reason. Luckily, she respected my decision. I've done that plenty of times. I hope that in the future, I"ll feel more confident about making good choices, but right now, I just want to lose weight and that's ranks as a higher priority than going to a party or a dinner where there will be lots of temptations.

astrophe 05-30-2011 10:05 PM

Sure. esp around holidays -- there's like a party every minute! It's fine to skip. Just send a nice "Thanks for inviting me! Maybe next time!" so the host knows you appreciate their thinking of you.

HTH!

A.

liliesinmycereal 05-30-2011 10:55 PM

I've never really skipped out but i have been through the whole not invited and then told later i was invited thing. i am becoming more ok with confronting people about the hurt feelings i had of feeling like i wasn't invited and try to move on.

Lovely 05-30-2011 11:20 PM

I've skipped out on events that weren't important to me.

Holidays with the family I've never skipped out on because of food. I go and am able to pretty much keep a handle on things.

But, some semi-acquaintance inviting me to a place where a bunch of food will be? I'll politely decline.

curlysue82 05-31-2011 03:17 AM

HMM i'm the opposite i used to skip events when was heavier, cos i was so unhappy with the way i looked and couldn't dress as i choose, so now when i go places i feel superb when i dress up; and am happy with how i look.. so i go and usually eat before i go so therefore i'm not hungry..

NO LONGER WILL I MISS LIFE BECAUSE OF MY WEIGHT>> lifes to short.. :)

irishlad 05-31-2011 05:10 AM

I have skipped a few events too in the past due to weight and lack of confidence, but also now while losing weight due to temptations. i.e alcohol, snacks and food etc. Trying to stick to my routine now, theory is another 6 -8 good weeks and I am at my goal, then I can allow these things creep in while on maintainance, as these will happen in everyday life.

Symmetry 05-31-2011 05:35 AM

I have, but I completely intend to learn how to live with them. Parties, travels and events will always be around, and I can't avoid them forever. :( Might as well learn to live with them.

bama girl 05-31-2011 08:12 AM

I skip going out to dinner with friends a great deal because it's dang near impossible to find food at restaurants that fits within what I am willing to put in my body. Also, it's expensive! For other gatherings, I will often eat something before I go so that I am not tempted with food there, but it can be REALLY hard to resist food if it's sitting out in front of you.

As for family gatherings, that's not really been much of an option for me, but I'll usually go light in the days prior so that if I DO eat too many of Mimi's brownies, my entire plan for the week isn't thrown off. :)

MindiV 05-31-2011 08:37 AM

I feel totally uncomfortable now at events where I can't control the food. I'll still go and make the best of it, but I don't like it.

Then there's today. My niece's graduation is tonight about 2 hours away from me. I'm going, even though we're leaving the house at 5 pm to head to the graduation site. There will literally be no time for dinner that isn't fast food, and I'm going with people who are going to be hitting the drive through. So I'm dreading it, totally. To the point where I don't want to go...but it's my niece and I love her!

ballerina454 06-03-2011 05:39 PM

Yes, all the time! Its really hard to go to social gatherings and eat well. My friends don't seem to make the best choices when deciding where to go to dinner or what to have to eat at social gatherings so it's really hard to follow my diet when I go. I have gotten better though about planning what I can eat if I know way in advance what restaurant we are going to. It's hard to fit into the social scene when you are trying to lose weight. :(

Michigan Jen 06-03-2011 05:46 PM

I also skip out on things because of my self-consciousness. I've missed a lot... My brother-in-law's wedding... a couple baby showers... other friend's weddings. I don't want to keep missing out on stuff in life, but I hate how I look so much that I wouldn't have fun going to them, you know? I never thought about the food thing, but that would be hard for me now too. Temptation is terribleeee.

mypinkpolkadot 06-03-2011 06:18 PM

I've missed so much.. I moved 45 minutes away from my friends.. and now I havent seen any of them in almost 5 years! We just chat on FB.. Im scared to visit, cuz they all think I look great in my photos, but really, I just take good pictures, and am not as small as it may seem..

I've missed weddings, prom, baby showers, graduation, birthdays..everything =( now I'm moving in 2 months, 2 states away, and sure am regretting it .. as it I probably wont even bring myself to see them before I go.. I feel like a horrible friend :(

curlysue82 06-03-2011 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mypinkpolkadot (Post 3876930)
I've missed so much.. I moved 45 minutes away from my friends.. and now I havent seen any of them in almost 5 years! We just chat on FB.. Im scared to visit, cuz they all think I look great in my photos, but really, I just take good pictures, and am not as small as it may seem..

I've missed weddings, prom, baby showers, graduation, birthdays..everything =( now I'm moving in 2 months, 2 states away, and sure am regretting it .. as it I probably wont even bring myself to see them before I go.. I feel like a horrible friend :(

Get out there abd visit before you move again, we all take photos and only post the acceptable /flattering ones online, but i really do think you should meet them, they are your mates for a reason, and then keeping in touch through facebook when you move at least ye can chat and ye will have seen each other...

my new motto is to stop missing things, i blamed my weight for too long . lack of motivation etc and now thats its on the way down i;m gettin out there alot more, sure it might delay a few pounds coming off, but the next week there won't be an occasion and the pounds will be down that week, can't turn back and go to things you miss out on...

:) good luck with your move :):hug:

pixelllate 06-04-2011 12:23 PM

Hey everyone, I skipped out on lots of events because I felt too embarrassed and not just because of the risk of overeating! The thought of showing my waist which lost all definition was just too scary and I was sick of wearing big black clothes when I go out. I went out a few weeks ago, and I tried to tell myself, hey just go and enjoy yourself with friends-we went to a restaurant, bar and nightclub. I just didn't. I even took my cardigan (safety blanket) off but I just was not totally happy, no matter how much I tried to rationalize it. The idea of wearing a dress for the first time in 3 years and JEANS!!! JEANS! I try to buy jeans but I have short legs and big blocky thighs unless I'm thin, and only the big n tall work for my legs...and they look like men's jeans...and they are 6 inches too long for me (probably were men's jeans at one point LOL)
So yah, health is a big factor, but being totally satisfied with the state of my body-lookswise-is also important to me too.
Can I tell you a totally nightmare story? I went out to a (surprise, I had no idea) spa getaway at the place that I'm interning. The boss was asking if the other girl who was sick was just making up an excuse because she felt too insecure about her size-we had to be in bathing suits. I thought uh oh red flag, what's she gonna think of me? Ive been wearing shapeless clothes, so I at least look big, but solid with clothes on! OK it ended up being a spa...and there was a section where you take your clothes off. Everyone went in there (we're all women) I could have chosen not to go, but I figured I'd stand out MORE, so yes ladies, I ran around naked in a spa full of mainly thin women. :^:
Not that everyone looked like models, but I was clearly one of the bigger ones there with a bloated gut. The thing that helped me go on was telling myself repeatedly, something that I never told myself before "I accept the current state of my body, but I will not accept that it will look like this forever." It really sunk it and I did accept it because I was working for something better. THe fact that there is a pic (I'm wearing spa clothes...1 size...so tight on me compared to work clothes) horrified me, but I keep it as motivation, as it is the first pic of me in 3 years lol.


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