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Old 05-25-2011, 10:48 AM   #31  
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I would text him back and ask him to meet you for coffee. Tell him you have just an hour to spend. Then see if he picks up the tab or expects you to make the next move for another date. He could be just a nice shy guy.
But see if he comes up with a "poor me' or a hard luck story.

He could be a mooch, thinking his good looks and charm will get him a free ride through life. I had an uncle like that. He mooched off lonely women and expected them to pay for everything. He was a charmer with empty pockets.
And he dated only divorced women, then when they pushed for marraige he said his religion did not allow him to marry a divorced woman. He never went to church. But he had an answer for everything.

Then the women realized they had been strung along and dumped him. And they were very nice women. Most had kids. He was out for free meals, and anything he could get off these unsuspecting women. What a Class A jerk he was.

He was always looking for free meals and borrowing money, never paying it back. Always looking for the next sap. Watch out for good looking, charming mooches.


On another note: There was a good looking guy that came to club meetings I belonged to.
He would pass out his business card to quite a few women at the same social events. Word got around and no one bothered to call him. Just another jerk.
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Old 05-25-2011, 10:50 AM   #32  
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I'm happy for you that there was a nice exchange of text messages and that he replied immediately. This lessens the chance that he's a cheater himself and had to find some place to hid from his GF/wife to respond.

If his marriage did end with infidelity, he's probably just still hurt and cautious. This happened to my husband and it was definitely a hard thing to get over. I don't see any reason for a man or woman to pursue or "hunt" the other - it's dating, not the wild kingdom. A healthy approach is just a natural exchange of ideas and suggesstions without being afraid to make a decision. If you choose a movie one day and he doesn't like it well, that's compromise which is good. If he hates it so bad he throws a hissy fit, that's a good glimpse at what a long term relationship would be like.

You can't judge everything based on setting up a first date. These things take time and it sounds like it's off to a good start.
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Old 05-26-2011, 04:08 PM   #33  
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im happy you got ahold of him! and it is awesome you playing it cool and not just jumping right in lol.
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Old 05-28-2011, 10:17 AM   #34  
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I just saw "Something Borrowed" last night. Go see it! The girl never got the guy because she didn't see his subtle advances! He didn't *go for it* because he was waiting for her to, first. It was a respect thing, not an indifferent thing.

I like that you brought up that you'd like to get to know him under more normal circumstances, i.e. sober. That's exactly what I would say when I called him. "I really liked meeting you at the bar but since my life has more to it than bar hopping, I was hoping to get to know you maybe at Starbucks this sat morning?"

I'm 41. Divorced. Been dating 3 years. If you don't take a chance you never know what can happen. My current bf was respectfully hinting that he'd like to date me. He'd say things like, "Why can't I find someone like you? You're everything I'd want my gf to be." while we were together at the gym where I work. At the time, I was with another guy. I broke up with the other guy shortly after he said that. Three weeks later, I happened to mention this to guy #2. He smiled and immediately said, "So do you wanna go out to dinner with me some time?". Yes. My point is, this guy obviously likes you. He wants you to direct him how to get started liking you more.
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