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even though it might sound like i had a bunch of guys after me just last year it's not much considering i'm 30 and mostly everyone i know, people uglier and way bigger than me ar married or dating people. i do feel like i have something wrong with me that i can't find the right guy. i always used to blame it on my weight but even when i was a size 8 i still was alone. right now i'm not even thinking of dating, can't imagine being with anyone at this weight, but it's kind of like i sit at home and think "i'm pretty at least and i'm wasting the best years of my life..." i know that when i shed this weight and reach my goal a boyfriend isn't going to magically appear.. |
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i love how it gives a match percentage, and the WTF report offers a lot of different topics to discuss. plus, it's free and the quizzes are a fun way to pass time :) tiffany - from my experience, and friends' experience, it seems harder to date when you're actually looking for it because instead of relaxing and enjoying the company of the guys you're around, you're scrutinizing them to see if they are viable mate material and that can send off a pretty scary vibe. my fiance and i started talking because we'd both left similar responses in a thread on OKC about something political, then saw that our match percentage was fairly high. neither one of us was looking to date. he was planning on leaving the area to go to school and get his master's degree and i was just coming off a relationship that ended badly (yay for cheating jerks!). we finally decided to meet to see what might happen after a month of back and forth. i guess what i'm tryin to say is just try to relax and let things happen, instead of pushing them. |
I totally agree with the whole it will happen if you stop trying. I'd given up on love, resigned all guys to a-holes and just did my own thing. Since I'd given up and didn't care what guys thought, I just became confident in my own skin. I wasn't worried about impressing anyone but me, I certainly wasn't out to get another guy who would let me down. Bam, right after that I met my now husband. I almost didn't give him a chance because I was so sick of guys. But he was relentless and less than 6 months later we were living together, and a couple years later we got married. Still going strong :) There's nothing wrong with looking, but don't fret about it. Just be yourself, and do whatever makes you happy, and you'll find that guy.
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As far the career I left, I was in Human Resources. Honestly I didn't have a problem with HR, but the way my department was managed at that company was insane and I couldn't handle it anymore. It was the perfect opportunity to leave and pursue fitness!! :) I LOVE teaching and training people. It's so rewarding and I love helping people! What is the new position that you are starting, if you don't mind me asking? |
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This is a really old thread but it reflects my situation seriously as single and in my late 20's and no prospects. Sucks because I'm not in college any more, live in a small town I hate basically, can't meet people easily at all and my coworkers have always been way older than me and have families. Anyone else in the same boat? I could do online dating but I just feel really weird about it....what are your experiences?
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The only problem with your situation is that living in a small town, the number of people on online dating sites may be limited. But hey, its worth a try. |
LOL I live in NYC too and I can tell you, most of the men here are taken, psycho or gay. I too, am tired of being single. I'm 21 and have had one serious relationship that introduced me to a thing called love. It's gone on his part and I miss the new feelings of sleeping with someone every night. I'm not as concerned as you are about it because I have college to keep me busy, and I'm younger as well. I have about 10 years before I need to worry that I'm alone. "I don't have a boyfriend because my career comes first." Isn't some lame excuse anymore. Perhaps love will find you when you're in the right place at the right time in your life. But for now, don't worry about it. The best time to be with someone is when you are happy with your life, that way you share the happiness and they add to it. Getting a boyfriend when you're miserable as **** never works, men never solve your issues.
As for online dating. That's how I met all my boyfriends (4). I met one on facebook through a mutual friend when I was 14. Not serious. I met one on a gaming website when I was 13, spoke until 21 (and we still speak) we were truly best friends, soul mates and he was my first love, and he came to visit me often but alas, long distance is NOT and never will be for me. He had too much going on in his life to move and me as well (school) and the visits only made the yearning for stable permanence, worse. I met one on another gaming website and he visited me as well frequently. Did not work. Tried OKCupid when I was 19, just for sh!ts and giggles. Met a very nice guy in my area. It could have worked if I wasn't so scared of committment and over my first love. |
I feel you girl. I don't know what it is like in NYC but from what I understand the fast paced city can be very ruthless and unforgiving if you don't keep up.
I'm 24 and haven't been in a relationship since I was 18. I've always had an image of me being done with school by 24, married by 26 and pregnant by 28. I'm not done with school, definitely not anywhere near marriage and pregnancy may not even be an option if I can't control my weight. I've had so many guys admit to me that they had a thing for me...in the past. When I ask why they never did anything it's usually some really lame reason. I know why--because I'm fat. I've accepted this after a long battle with being upset over it. I don't like it but its something I'm trying to change. Tell me if you've heard this "If I were single....you would be in trouble!" Yea. Right. I've been asked dozens of times why I am single. I cook very well, I'm well educated, I have an awesome sense of humor, lots of friends, I'm independent, and I keep my looks up makeup/hair/clothing wise. I have good style, sense, and personality. I don't get it either. I can't explain babe but I believe in fate and sometimes even when I watch my best friends find new men on a weekly basis or get married after 6 months of dating I still believe that my person will come along. I just hope I don't get too busy with everything else to pass them up OR get too desperate to take the next man who comes along that I'm actually supposed to pass up. Good luck babe! |
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Wow... so people who are "uglier and way bigger" than you shouldn't be dating because you aren't? I'm sorry, but perhaps it's this attitude that you have to look a certain way or be a certain size that has something to do with it... |
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You've gotten so much great advice, and I wish I had more to add but I just wanted to offer some encouragement! A lot of folks say that it happens when you aren't looking for it; you are just out there one day living life and meet someone at the grocery store or through work and you hit it off! As for me, I was actually on EHarmony, but not actively using the site (LOL I signed up after getting drunk alone on Valentines Day - the very day I found out that my boyfriend was actually married with two babies. Nice.) Anyway, one day I got a message and though I wasn't really interested, I responded and things just took off from there. We just got married in July. :) I know it's hard, but try not to stress it. Be patient, and trust that as long as you keep you heart and your mind open you will meet someone who fits into your life! |
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