Hey guys...I've been avoiding the chat threads because I've felt like I haven't had the energy to contribute properly, but I need to vent. So sorry for no personals right now, but I will try to get some up later! And also, really sorry to be miss crabby pants all the time. I just don't really have anywhere else to vent.
I'm so freaking fed up with this teeter tottering!!! I feel good, I feel awful, I feel good, I can barely get out of bed....I'm down three pounds, up three pounds....comfortably not hungry, ravenous....blah blah blah. The logical part of me knows to just ignore the scale and continue on plan, but the days where I'm dead tired, sore from exercise, and have extreme hunger I don't seem to listen to that part very well.
*sigh* I need to just take a deep breath, refocus, and not panic. I may lose a battle here and there, but the war is still going on and I can regain lost ground. But I cannot fight it if I'm weak and hungry, so I need to allow myself to slow down a little when I start to feel like that and not worry about how it will affect the scale. (Oddly enough, I'm generally more upset about what I perceive other people's judgment would be and not what my opinion of it is. Even though I have no idea what other people would think. )
Also. I have a terrible phone phobia (among all of my other phobias that have to do with talking to people...) and I need to call and make a dental appointment today. It's pathetic that I am rehearsing what to say....
Kawaii Great pictures! I love the nails, and you are SO pretty!
Holy Pete. Getting to work has been evil today! The roads are cover in ice, car in ice, pretty much ice as far as you can see. I guess all of Ohio was hit pretty bad. Of course me being clumsy, I fell. Landed on my butt which is by far the most padded area so it wasn't too bad. ToM this week, so I'm trying not to look at the scale. My work pants feel looser though!
MiZ Lol I wish it was 2 whole lbs, but it was only .2 (1/5 of a lb). Nine pounds in a month sounds awesome!
krampus Yakiniku sounds like it was fun. I always worry about the calories I'm eating when I go out to place without the caloric value. I just try to estimate it using past entries on the calorie counting website I use.
rainbow Yeah what is the mystery meal? I only eat a small amount of calories before dinner too. I like having a big dinner.
kawaii and rainbow I sometimes only wash my bangs too cause they're the only part I straighten everyday. I only wash my hair about 2-3x a week since I have curlyish hair and straightening it takes forever.
fromthebox That sounds like a ton of fun, except the whole rain storm part. The cute guy part sounds good too. Maybe we'll be hearing more about him?
TheBunneh Sorry you're feeling down. Seems like you have a good mind set though! The war is still going on, get back in that trench solider!
Plus you've already had an amazing loss! You're down 60lbs and really close to your goal.
Thebunneh - Seriously I do the same friggen thing simple phone calls should be simple but it takes me hours just to call someone for a dumb appointment. Maybe just start taking things at ease instead worrying too much about it. *Hugs*
Thebunneh-Feel better I get nervous at the thought of leaving a message lupo-ouch, hope your botty is ok. Ice scares me to my very core lol we don't get much in London
I have this mini trip coming up which i am really excited about. I have made plans to get me through food wise but I am torn as to whether to drink or not.
Also I have just stared working at this organisation that seem a little food obsessed. At first I thought I was just being sensitive but they keep raising eyebrows and rolling eyes when I say i politely turn down food.
I asked for a plain black coffee and was given a frappo/latte one of those things in sachets, I clocked 77 cals on the packet. They just keep saying things like you need to love food round here. I do love food, but not as much as I hate being fat.
meh they can roll their eyes as much as like I will not eat to please someone else.
Sorry for barging into chat with my problems, I did read the thread I just felt a bit late to respond
Just popping in to say ARRRG FIRST DAY OF INTERNSHIP TODAY AND MY FIRST PATIENT PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME ALONE IN A ROOM WITH THEM and also I'm ok re:earthquake and dont think I know anyone in ChCh but it is terribly sad and the video footage is quite frightening. Feel like I should be doing something to help out (surely they need psychs?) but not sure if having a bus load of inexperienced psych interns running around would be helpful. Are you ok rainbow re: earthquake?
Zomg Icon you're in psychology too? I'm starting my internship in May!
I can't believe it. I'm afraid for my first client too. Really nervous. What client population are you focusing on? I love it when I find people who are doing the same thing as me! What sort of place are you interning at?
Just remember be present and if you don't know what to say, be honest, and default to empathy!
Icon: Good luck with the internship. I'm so glad that you are okay..how bad was the earthquake? I don't watch much TV. Lupo: Sorry about the ice..and falling. I hate ice and snow...I use to like it until we had so much this winter and now I'm just ready for Spring! TheBrunneh: I hope you start feeling better and get into a better mood soon. Miz: What day are you weighing again? 9 lbs in a month? You probably have lost it! Good luck.
--Anyone heard from Rainbow? I hope shes okay!
As for today...I went an walked a mile around our mall and I'm planning on doing a good workout before I go to bed tonight. I have a big Anatomy test coming up Satruday so I have been studying about 30-45 mintues a day and hoping I can pull out a B on the test..but he grades the test right away so i'll know Saturday **fingers crossed**---This morning I woke up an I weighed in at 144.2 that is almost up a pound in 2 days..and I haven't been doing anything wrong so no telling what is going on...hopefully I'm back down in the morning. I feel really bloated and I haven't ate much salt & bread and TOM is still 3 weeks away. So who knows!
But I'm gonig to get off here ..I'm at my mom's visiting and waiting for hubby to get off work so I can go pick him up. Hope everyone is having a great day.
Icon I am fine re the earthquake. Some of my friends parents live in Chch but they are safe, thankfully. I'm kind of trying to avoid reading the paper this morning because I feel so terrible and helpless - and I can't actually afford to donate money -_- I wish they did need blood (apparently, even though people are saying they do, they don't need blood donations) so I can't really do much.
~Sorry guys not really in the mood for personals right now...dunno why. The terrible choice in dinner last night was beer-battered fish and chips haha...yeah, definitely not a low calorie meal at all. The stupid thing was, I only chose that because I always get the same steak/veges when I go to the restaurant we went to and wanted a change...I should have just stuck with the steak, it's a damn good steak.
Today I'm craving all sorts of crap. I just put some sugarfree cherry jello in the fridge at my house forgetting that I'm actually only here to do my laundry and stuff, so I won't even be around to eat it when it sets...urgh.
I am so hungry, I want to eat .... but I don't know what.
JL - This sunday the 27th is my weigh in date. I know the last day is the 28th which is the monday but I want to do it on the sunday. Good luck on your test. I should really do a video today...I'm so lazy shame on me.
Rainbow - Glad you're alright, but it sucks when you feel helpless! Maybe eat a salad tonight if you feel really down about the crappy food you ate before. Thats what I'm doing tonight a small salad to fill me up and then I don't feel as guilty.
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So here I'm looking back on the past and I know I shouldn't but I just thought of this, if that woman hadn't of screwed me over I wouldn't have met that loser (the ex) I wouldn't be in the debt I'm in because of him and I'd have an amazing paying job right now...Oh how grand life is....you know when I had a gut feeling she didn't fax my resume I should have just did it myself...Now here I am looking to get on a job at the oil rigs, bust my *** off for a year so I can get out of debt (which will be within the two months of working there) then save up for my 4 years of university so I can finally get into psychology and become a psychologist and become the woman I had plan to become god knows how friggen long ago! I never honestly expected to be where I am today...this sucks!
I've been reading these threads for a while, and I thought I'd join in if that's okay.
rainbowstripe - a complete stranger forgives you too, if that helps.
MiZTaCCen - hoping very hard for a good loss for you, you earned it with patience if nothing else.
JLNichols07 - I always forget about mall-walking when it snows, like today . . . today I just didn't exercise, 'cause I'm lazy!
supergirl - "I do love food, but not as much as I hate being fat." seconded
I keep getting into weird food grooves lately, because I'm quitting fast food. For a few days I was eating entire packages of beef jerky; now it's three days of Ritz crackers and cheese (16 crackers, 2 slices of cheese). I think I'm ritualizing the food too much to distract myself from wanting fast food. To clarify, I'm also eating other things, and actually staying within calories, etc. I don't think I've gone this many days without it (6) for years. Which is really sad. But soon I'll have my own self-made one-week fast-food abstinence chip. It may or may not be made from a guitar pick.
Fromthebox, hey! Welcome back! Sounds like you had a good weekend, even with the elements raining crap on you! yay for boy attention! I hope the damage from all the calories isn’t too bad for you…
Krampus, aw man, yakiniku… I haven’t eaten that in ages… mostly cuz the people I usually go to dinner with are freakin vegetarians… lol. good job on getting your workout in there too!
Miz, aww, thanks!! I’m finally getting used to typing with those long-as$ nails, haha, although I am having major issues with my new phone!! XO (typing, I mean) but yeah, they rock, haha. What color do you dye your hair? I dye it too much too, haha… seriously, I can’t believe you lasted the whole month without weighing-in! I’m kinda excited to see how much you lost as well! lol.
Bunneh, awww… here’s a big hug for you! I totally know how you feel! I think you need to let go a little bit and stop focusing on the dieting so much and just enjoy the rest of your life. The scale used to make me crazy too, and now I just decided that I am not weighing during the week anymore, only on the weekend (Friday, sat, sun). the first week, it was really HARD to not step on the scale, but now I’m finding that I’m quite zen about the whole thing, and it help me to not stress about it too much. As for when I’m feeling ravenous, I’ve been stuffing my face with apples and oranges… sure they are sugary, but they’re good sugar and much better than other crap and they fill you up real quick so you don’t feel like eating that much anyways. But hang in there girl! I think most of us know what you’re going through! Oh and thanks for the compliments
Supergirl, I loved that you said “I do love food, but not as much as I hate being fat.” I think it’s so stupid they would “force” you to eat like that. Just ignore it.
Rainbow, don’t beat yourself up! I’d feel bored always ordering the same thing too. I think sometimes it’s okay to change things up.
Morning all! I’m feeling really good today. I have only classes with my 3rd year students (whom I love) and some of them are last classes ever! Cuz the school year ends in March in Japan, and the 3rd years will be graduating to High School in April. Sadness. I love those brats so much. But anyways, the reason I’m in a good mood is that I’m wearing this fabulous outfit I’m in love with. ha! I bought it in Tokyo last weekend. it’s a white flowy-girly dress from forever 21, but over it I through this enormous woolen dark-orange sweater from H&M. I’m seriously in love with this sweater!!! I really want to try and sneak a photo in the full length mirror that’s in the stairway, but I would feel really dumb if anybody caught me. Haha. Anyways, it’s making me happy.
Last night I ate well, but suddenly my friend called to say she was in town and asking if I wanted to meet so we went for coffee. I wouldn’t have eaten that ice-cream with my dinner if I had known that, so it made my calories for the day more around 1800 instead of 1600. Oh well. I think I’m doing ok. 3rd day of the week and 3rd day on plan. Yay.
Weight down 0.1 kg/0.2 lb this morning to 57.3/126.3. I suspect yakiniku was a bit salty too. I just have to get through the next 6 hours at the office without shooting myself in the face out of boredom, and then I'm headed shopping with a couple friends after work. As well as the usual grocery-type purchases I'm looking for a nude/peach lipstick and something unnecessary and cute from the Body Shop.
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KawaiiCandie That sounds like a great outfit! I'm having a good clothes day too. Just wearing a thin black cardigan buttoned all the way up over a black cami, my leopard print pencil skirt, black tights, black brogues, and a really nice necklace my friend gave me.
MiZTaCCeN Onwards and upwards! F the haters, living well is the best revenge.
MonsterMash I went on a 1-week dessert detox a while back and I noticed similar habits to your ritual Ritz/beef jerky eating while I was doing that. Stay strong!
rainbowstripe I hope you feel better soon. Fish and chips is f%&king delicious and it sounds like you enjoyed it, try not to beat yourself up! Life isn't worth living if you can't eat what you want on occasion.
JLNichols Hoping for the best on your anatomy test! Don't worry about the pound up, it could be a million factors.
supergirl UGH, food pushers! That's a really challenging environment to be in but you can make it work.
lupo At least there's some cushioning on your bum, is your tailbone all right? I try not to fret too much about calories when I go out but it is hard not to sit there doing math in your head the whole meal.
TheBunneh Everyone's got ups and downs as far as appetite/weight is concerned...I hope you don't get too down and out about it. As far as the phone anxiety, I feel awkward and uncomfortable on phones too - I think everyone does.
Monster - Thank you, I also find when I think too much about my diet I want to binge..Try not to think too much on it and soon enough it'll become like nothing. When I first started I had fast food once a week (mostly pizza) to keep myself from binging, now it's like nothing except when tom is around haha.
Supergirl - I found when I first started dieting I had a lot of food pushers, now that they've seen what I've accomplished they actually leave me alone.
Kawaii - Aww it's so sad to see people go when you've grown attached to them a little bit. hmm I should really invest in a cute dress or something at the end of the month since I've been so good haha.
Krampus - yay for being down! and you're right!
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I worked out! I'm happy I did! I wasn't going to I was going to say **** it, but I was like I need to have a shower anyways...so I may as well get all sweaty and gross then take a shower so I did! I did a 35 minute JM video. I didn't feel like doing the whole thing I think it was like 50 minutes but whatever 35 minutes is way better then doing nothing like I originally planned! Now I'm wide awake....I should shower, do my dishes, make my lunch for tomorrow, pack up for the gym and do my hair so it doesn't look ridiculous tomorrow, then off to bed and dream about god knows what tonight. <3
krampus, happy ladies day!! have fun shopping for unnessessary things... i can't be doing anymore of that! i bought some face powder yesterday and blush from canmake it's compact stuff so i can carry it in my purse. i am a makeup addict but everything i own is brand, and BIG so i can't carry it around for touch-ups, eheh.
Miz, cute dresses are always a win! congrats on working out. i really should get back at it too, but my place is soooo messy... first i gotta clean it! lol.
done with classes! some of the kids cried when i said it was my last class with them! bless!! don't have anything exciting planned for tonight... i have to pay my bills... fun!! lol. oh and i sneaked a pic in the hallway when no one was lookign, haha. it doesn't look too cute in that pose, but i love it anyways.
lupo- yeah! I'm doing health psych so my patients are mostly ppl trying to cope with chronic illnesses. I'm in a district health place, ie hospitals lol, working with cardiology and diabetes patients Thankfully i was told today that my placement has a three week orientation programme where they ease me into doing things gently Apart from the education and group support sessions where im on my own >.< And the first is in two weeks. Yay. Excite! And also, panic! Fake it until you make it, right? What're you focusing on?
jl- stress can make your weight do funky things I think, so maybe after your test (which you will be totally fine in) it should return to normal I think The earthquake wasnt as bad as the one in september, but it was only 5km deep so its done lots of damage. I think about 65+ people have been killed and theyve had to amputate things to get other people out of buildings. And the main cathedral in Christchurch has been badly damaged which is really sad. I think the scariest part is the whirlpools created by liquifaction. I think ppl outside of NZ can view the video stuff on this link http://tvnz.co.nz/national-news/vide...stream-4038451
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so it wasn't too bad. ToM this week, so I'm trying not to look at the scale. My work pants feel looser though!
I get nervous at the thought of leaving a message 
I totally know how you feel! I think you need to let go a little bit and stop focusing on the dieting so much and just enjoy the rest of your life. The scale used to make me crazy too, and now I just decided that I am not weighing during the week anymore, only on the weekend (Friday, sat, sun). the first week, it was really HARD to not step on the scale, but now I’m finding that I’m quite zen about the whole thing, and it help me to not stress about it too much. As for when I’m feeling ravenous, I’ve been stuffing my face with apples and oranges… sure they are sugary, but they’re good sugar and much better than other crap and they fill you up real quick so you don’t feel like eating that much anyways. But hang in there girl! I think most of us know what you’re going through! Oh and thanks for the compliments 
Apart from the education and group support sessions where im on my own >.< And the first is in two weeks. Yay. Excite! And also, panic! Fake it until you make it, right? 
