How To Balance Life In General...help!
 

How do you ladies with work commitments, families, etc. do it??? I'm a mother with a four year old and a 17 month old at home.....they offer very little downtime/free time for me to do anything.....my husband works 6 p.m. to 6 a.m......which means he sleeps until 2 or 3 in the afternoon.....and 5 days out of the week I work in the evenings.......HOW DO I MAKE TIME FOR EXERCISING WITHOUT TAKING AWAY FROM MY KIDS OR MESSING UP MY HUSBANDS SCHEDULE??

I find that I'm really down about my weight these days.....I'm 28 (will be 29 in August) and I feel like I'm 70!!!!!:?: I find grey hairs....and that really depresses me.....I know that probably sounds ridiculous since it is easily fixable....but I DON'T EVEN HAVE TIME TO FIX THAT!!!

I feel like I would be a happier wife and mother if I could take some time for me.....time to feel better and look better.....but I CANNOT FIND THE FREAKIN TIME to do it!!!!:mad:

I would love some suggestions or any advice at all.....I'm new to this site and I'm intimidated and would like to find some people for support.

Thanks in advance for any responses!!! :D

If you can't get away from the kids, what can you do WITH the kids?

Can you take them to a playground and use the benches, parallel bars, etc to get a quickie strength workout?

Can you turn on some music and have a family dance party? Just grooving away burns a LOT of calories, and the kids will have fun with it, too.

Or PLAY. You get a lot of activity running after kids, playing chase, etc. You can really get a LOT of movement if you give up on "exercise" being some 45 min block where you can be by yourself and uninterrupted, and instead focus on moving as much as you can, whenever you can. It doesn't have to be a treadmill or the gym. It can be step up at the park, or dancing while you mop floors, or calf raises while at the sink doing dishes.

Here's a great article from about.com about fitting in exercise for Stay at Home Moms:

http://exercise.about.com/od/fitting...meexercise.htm

You just answered it. You MAKE the time.

Everybody only gets 24 hrs in a day. List out how you are spending yours, hour by hour.

Then organize it into chunks:

Sleep
Work/volunteer obligations
Tending children related -- their care, playdates, schooling, etc
Food related -- shopping, cooking, washing up, etc
Other non food Errands/correspondance/bills
Church-Hobby-Extended Relatives - Friends time
Marriage time

And so on.

And yes, we love our children, but if you are feeling like they take up more time than balance requires... start thinking about how to bring balance back. Get a babysitter -- swap childcare with another mom in the neighborhood for instance. Or stroller walk and double up exercise time and kid time.

What else can be doubled up? Can you cook extra or crockpot to free up cooking time another day so it is open for exercise time?

Something HAS to give. You only get 7 days in a week, 24 hrs per day.

When DD was young, I gave up the gym thing and what gave was that. Oh, I'd do her kiddie yoga stuff with her and figured that was better than nothing. Once she hit preschool half days, I could bring some other things back. But I don't kid myself. I'm still nowhere close to where I was as a single or even a non-kid couple with my gym time.

I want that BACK!

So now what is giving is the house. I'm looking into getting help for that and also paring back belongings seriously. Because I just cannot do it with this much stuff, and I'm not putting my housekeeping in front of my healthkeeping any more. I REALLY can't afford that, so I'm trying to squeeze the budget to make it happen.

I'm still not back at the gym like I want, but I'm trying to clear up schedule space to get there!

A.

I'm a single mom with a busy lifestyle...work full-time in professional position, my two kids have 2-3 activities per week to get them to, one of my children is special needs and requires more one-on-one attention...I own and maintain a home (sometimes a full-time job in itself) and a yard, and I volunteer 2 hours per week. So I think most people would agree that I am VERY busy.

What I did when the kids were younger is get a treadmill to have at home. Then, I could use it when they were sleeping in the evenings. I also had some free weights to use at the same time.

Now that they are older I have invested in a family membership at our local YMCA. They can do their sports/activities/library/swimming while I take a class or use the cardio equipment. Kind of killing 4 birds with one stone.

It really is about making it a priority. Sometimes other things have to take a back burner so we take care of ourselves first. Maybe you could find a gym with childminding or look in your community for a mom and tots walking group or something.

Added note: I find when I am making the time to work out I have even more energy to spend in the other parts of my life - it's a win win.

It really is finding what works for you. I work full time, go to graduate school full time, and have a 15 hour a week internship for school. I schedule everything! Even stuff like grocery shopping, studying, making meals and time with my boyfriends, family and friends. I always schedule a time for exercise.

I bought a treadmill so I can run at home during the winter, and I have hand weights so I don't have to make a trip to the gym.

I agree with these other ladies, you could play with your kids for exercise, get a babysitter, or maybe find a time when your children are napping or other wise occupied?

I remember when I was young, my mom, a SAHM, would sit me down with toys at a play table while she did step aerobics tapes.

About your grey hairs, can you do your own dye at home? There are also rinses you can use from places like Sally's Beauty Supply. I'm 23 and have grey too, but I color it :p

All it takes is at least 30 minutes to get started. I'm sure when your kid is up playing in his/her room or whatever or playing outside with friends or by themself you can make the time to throw in a DVD and workout at home. Or when the hubby wakes up (make him watch the kid). or wake up extra early in the morning before the kids wake up and get a workout going, or late at night when they go to bed. 30 minutes a day is all I did for the longest time and I dropped a bunch of weight like that.

I'm not a parent, but i read through all the suggestions from other busy ladies, and i think that you should definitly spend time exercising with your kids.
Though they are very little, taking them on a walk, even if they are in the stroller, is going to start teaching them to take care of themselves. As time goes on they'll learn to love being active.
Yes, its good for kids to have some calm time, reading and playing quietly, but if you raise them with the idea that exercise is fun, and is something worth doing every day, then when they are teenagers they won't be sitting there going "i don't want to go on a bike ride. i hate exercise D:" instead, they'll be young and active and in great shape because you'll have raised them with an active lifestyle. THey'll have fun taking walks with mommy, riding their tricycle next to mommy while she pushes the stroller, running around the park with mommy, etc. It will teach them to love activity, to enjoy being fit and active, and in that little way you will help prevent them from being one of the many many overweight children, who turn into overweight teens, who turn into overweight adults, a lot of whom don't have active lifestyles
Teach them that being active is not only fun, but it makes them feel good and keeps them healthy, and its something that they will keep with them their entire lives.

Sorry if i rambled, but my mother was a very active mother with 4 kids and she would take her time to run on the treadmill a couple times a week. It taught me that exercise was only good for losing weight, and it wasnt something that i felt i needed until i became overweight.
I'm going to try and teach my future children that exercise is not for fat people, exercise is for healthy, happy people :)

i really just want to hug you right now. you are my 4 in. taller former self. dont' beat yourself up! i'm sure you are trying your best. i'll try to come back and add to this when i have more time. just wanted to add support. there's so much you can do to get a little more organized, sip a cup of tea to destress during the day....i still need so much improvement myself. but you CAN DO THIS!

I work full time and have a 19 month old son. My husband works Monday-Saturday from 5:15am until around 5PM. Evenings were too hard for me to fine the time or energy to work out. So I decided for 2 weeks I would try getting up at 5am and work out in my living room before getting ready for work. I figured if I could make it for 2 weeks it would start to become habit. 4 months later I now get up at 4:30am, have a cup of coffee, watch a little TV and I work out between 5&6 and then start getting ready for work. My little one gets up at 7 and I get him dressed, breakfast done and I'm out the door by 7:35.

On Sundays, when my husband is home, I head out of the house right around sunrise and run for 30 minutes to an hour and leave my husband to get the little one up and fed. Then if I need some "me time" I either shut myself in my bedroom for a few hours and watch tv, nap, veg or I go out and run errands alone. I have explained to my husband that I need this time. Maybe not every weekend, but probably at least 2 weekends per month.

Your husband needs to pitch in where ever he can. You may have to make him do it, but they are his children too and you need help.

^^^agreed.^^^

GL! :D

You can always sneak exercise in.
Making lunch for your kids? Do 10 squats. Unloading groceries? Lift those bags over your head 10 times before you put them away. Walk while talking on the phone, park as far away from stores as you can, take a couple extra trips up and down the stairs. If you feel like you can't fit "formal" exercise in, just try and move as much as you can.

I will also say that "they say" losing weight is about 80% diet and 20% exercise. While i really really do think exercise is important, I also believe that making sure you're eating well has to come first.

I'm a single mom to a 3 year old and I work full time. It's always go, go, go! What I do is work until 4:30 or so, and go to the gym directly after work, but before picking her up from daycare. If I can do a half hour, it's better than nothing, so I have abandoned an all or none mentality.
If your husband works at 6 and wakes up 2 or 3, that's the perfect time to get out and exercise. I don't know any man who takes 3 or 4 hours to get ready for work!! :)

When you're working in the evenings, who is caring for your children? Is there any way to get an extra hour or half an hour or child care to go for a walk in the neighborhood? I also like the idea of going at night or in the morning when the kids are asleep. I did that when my daughter was a baby and my ex husband was asleep at home with her.

My nutritionist does suggest exercising with kids. There are DVDs (elmocize) or games, but also good old fashioned walking, playing, dancing, etc.

Are their any programs in your area like a Mother's Day Out or MOPS? A lot of churches around her offer them (even if you aren't religious...most are just daycare-ish things for free). A few friends use that time (even if its just twice a week) to do their workouts and get some Mommy Time in.

Personal time is essential to your sanity. You ARE NOT abandoing your husband and children to take some time out. You will be a better, happier, more relaxed wife and mother for it. My mom took thirty minutes every day when I grew up. When I was really little...she would have my dad watch me or take me to the neighbors or something. When I was older, she would let me play alone or stay alone. She would do different things. Sometimes she would just sit in her quiet bedroom alone. Sometimes a hot bath. Sometimes a chore that needed to be done without annoying me. Sometimes a trip to Sonic. Sometimes a walk. But always 30 minutes every day to herself. And she was always refreshed after.

For your sake and for your family, please find some regular time for yourself, even if its just 30 minutes a day or every other day. You need it and you deserve it.

This idea of "extreme busy" has been coming up again and again in my own life. My situation is not the same as yours, but our family is also quite busy- DH and I both work at least 60 hours per week. I have a 20-month old. As I read through everyone else's posts, I have realized that most everyone is extremely busy. In order for me to make this little life of ours work, I HAVE to make time for the things that keep our family happy.

Those include:
cleaning up a little every week
making time for hubby and me to connect
having family time
planning meals and grocery shopping
exercise

Simply put, these HAVE to be in my life for me to feel balanced and good. They are as essential as sleeping, going to work, brushing my teeth... etc.

Good luck to you as you find your balance!