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-   -   Well, that hurt... (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/20-somethings/224233-well-hurt.html)

MaddieBPhoto 01-30-2011 10:00 PM

Well, that hurt...
 
So, I talked to my mom tonight about nothing. Then, she proceeds to tell me that she is sending me 2 jackets that no longer fit her because, as if she hasn't told me enough, she's been doing P90X & is losing so much weight. She has been the voice inside my head for years taunting me about my weight. So, I stood in the milk aisle at the store, holding my gallon of FAT FREE milk & my mouth dropped. I'm thinking about finding a shrink & sending her the bills. Ugh.

ETA: The jackets were WAY too big!! Suck. On. That. :D

SunnyMathChick 01-30-2011 10:14 PM

I am so sorry. You know, you're working really hard toward a healthier lifestyle right now. So hang on to that fact, and try hard to ignore her. I know it's hard, though.

Wish I had better words to say. :hug:

DisgruntledOne 01-30-2011 10:16 PM

I just received pants from my mom. Theu didn't fit too small for me. I'm kinda confused as why you were so hurt. Was she doing this in a sarcastic kinda way?

ducktape54 01-30-2011 10:19 PM

That sucks. I am sorry. But you should be proud of your weight loss accomplishment. It looks like you have done very well.

Ishisnowcone 01-30-2011 10:24 PM

You could say something smart like 'its to bad you didn't do this when I was younger, it really could have saved me all of this trouble to have a healthy role model' but that would just add to the fire. Hold your head up high and take a deep breath, you are so close to your goal. Use this as motivation!

Shytowngal 01-30-2011 10:47 PM

accept the jackets and when they arrive tell her they are so big that you were swiming in them, so you donated them. JK, GREAT job on your 45 pound loss. Keep your head up, you're doing great.

FatPantsSkinnyJeans 01-30-2011 10:55 PM

Well.... I say that you are better off. You are adopting changes you can utilize for life... she is doing a temporary program that will ultimately have an endpoint. So, kudos to you for making a lifestyle change :)

surrendertolis 01-30-2011 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FatPantsSkinnyJeans (Post 3685058)
Well.... I say that you are better off. You are adopting changes you can utilize for life... she is doing a temporary program that will ultimately have an endpoint. So, kudos to you for making a lifestyle change :)

I couldn't have said it better myself. :)

jazzang 01-31-2011 12:37 AM

just send the jackets back with a note saying they are too big for you too, thanks!!

bleujean 01-31-2011 01:33 AM

Chin up darlin. That stung me when I read it, I can only imagine how it feels if it's your own mother.

I read an article a few months ago that really affected the way I felt about those types of relationships. Essentially it said that sometimes people feel a certain way about us, or have a perception about us that has nothing to do with anything that we did, it's just their own BS, essentially. And it sounds reasonable to say, but it's hard to accept. I think this is it...

oprah.com/spirit/Martha-Beck-I-Love-You-Just-the-Way-You-Were[/url]

It's not about you, it's about whatever her ego needs it to be about. Big hug, and high five for acknowledging your feelings and not eating them (the latter is what I would have done!)

KawaiiCandie 01-31-2011 01:52 AM

aww... moms (just like husbands, apparently... :p) aren't the most tactful people in the world at times.... i'm sure she didn't mean it in a bad way... she's probably just really proud of how she's doing and didn't think of how it would make you feel.

you should just tell her she hurt your feelings and move on ;)

redliss7 01-31-2011 09:11 AM

I would take the jackets, keep working hard, and then when they're HUGE on you wear them in front of her and be like "I like my stuff roomier. Thanks for the jackets, mom." It may be a little too passive aggressive for her to pick up on but its not outright rude but still a little sneaky. haha. J/k. You've done great so far! 45 lbs is no joke. She may not mean it to be weird, as you have lost so much weight. She may just be trying to find common ground with you, as you were successful first? Idk the whole situation so its hard to say. What I do know, is you've done a fantastic job so you can be proud of that.

MiZTaCCen 01-31-2011 09:20 AM

Be proud of yourself and be happy for her. She may not realize what she said because sometimes we don't have that filter in our brains and we say something that probably shouldn't have been said. When you get the jackets call her up and say thanks and than tell her they don't fit you either (even if they do) so you've donated them to the goodwill or whatever. :)

Ruthxxx 01-31-2011 09:39 AM

Mothers! I'm 72 and mine is still hanging around my head!

mmel3283 01-31-2011 10:52 AM

I'm glad my mother isn't like that...for her sake...


I would find a way to tell her you don't really appreciate her comments...I liked the one about saying they were too big so you donated them.


You're doing fabulous!!!!!!


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