Jelbb! :hug:

Ok, what is the reason for your binging? Is it the stress? If it is, I think we can establish that its not really helping you out :) Lets do something else instead. Make lists, work on the things that are stressing you out- what do you need to do to help yourself out? Do you need to have an eating plan and schedule? Do you need to stop buying things you know your body doesnt appreciate? I think it would be a good idea to stop the food in the car :) Theres no way that can be mindful, enjoyable eating.

Money is hard. Sorry to hear about the circumstances of the wedding :( How much is the legal aspect of that going to cost? If I were you I wouldnt worry about the cost of the nicer wedding, and just focus on getting that legal stuff sorted (not sure if you were worried about the nice wedding in the first place!). Planning of your big wedding should be something to be enjoyed as much as possible I reckon and it doesnt seem like thats happening for you now so is it possible to put that aspect on the backburner for a while?

You CAN gain control again. What were you doing before that worked for you? Write it down. See what you can do of those things again. Start to work on them. You dont have to suddenly switch back into how you were before, it might have to be a gradually change again. Because it is a big change, right? Dont feel ashamed :hug: we all fall back and try to climb our way back into how we were going before.

There is nothing wrong with you. It is not so easy for other people. If people could just make the decision to change their lifestyle and go ahead and do it without a problem or a hitch at all then myself and all the other health psychologists would be out of jobs :lol: You are ahead of a lot of people in that you have realised that you need to do something and you have tried before and it has worked. Thats a big advantage and a huge achievement and just because you have slipped doesnt mean that you didnt do it or that it doesnt count. You did do it and it DOES count. And you can do it again and more.

I think coming back to 3FC regularly is a great idea. If you need motivation to get on here, feel free to PM me anytime- I will always reply to you.

:hug: I believe in you Jelbb. You can do this

I know how you feel about the wedding thing... me and my fiance might have to just get married on paper too because of health insurance reasons. I'm unemployed right now and i have to have health insurance (i stupidly quit my job, but in all fairness, I was miserable there).

Anyways, it's good you're here and you know that there is a problem. Most people refuse to recognize a problem when they see it. it's also ONLY 20 lbs. It's not that much. If you've done it before, you can do it again. Good luck!

Hugs, lady!!! :) I know what you're going through - I'm up about 7-10 pounds from my low weight this summer, mostly due to stress and me not being able to get out of the rut I got into. It sucks :(

I'm trying to keep in mind - we've done this before. We don't have to go through that whole sucky phase of figuring out what works best for our bodies, what plan to follow, etc. We just need to get back into the healthy habits we've worked before, so in a way, we have an advantage :)

You can do this again - it sounds like you've already identified the areas where you can improve, now it's just getting back on track and doing it!

Ugh, what a manly response your boyfriend had!

Do you have any friends roughly your size/goal size who are dieting and doing well? I find sticking to friends with healthy habits really affects my own. You can regain control and work this thing however you want. You can lose the weight. And you can handle stress without eating your feelings. It's so much easier said than done and I'm fairly certain that everyone here struggles the same way.

And yeah 20 lbs can come off no problem! The important thing is to aim for "most of the time" and not beat yourself up and go nuts if you have a tiny piece of chocolate because "the day is ruined." No one is perfect all of the time, but someone who eats right and exercises and binges once or twice a week (coughcoughkrampuscough) is going to be better off than someone who eats right and exercises for one day and then binges all the rest of the week.

BIG HUGS - you can do this!

PS your bf is in your avatar no? Good catch! :D

I love you... and I've had the same thing going on around here

only I'm in law school and taking law school finals and have spent 12 + hours a day in the library and I've been eating out and eating crap and drinking a milkshake daily...

I've also started dating a new boy who likes me the way I am which makes dieting a bit more difficult... I'm planning to jump back into things when finals are over...

I send you all of my support :)

things will work out...you're too amazing for them not to work out

if you need to talk... pm me... I rarely actually get on the boards these days but I happened to notice that you started a thread

They don't. LOL ;)

Welcome back. I don't think there's much I can say that everyone already hasn't, but I think between your emotional stress and the stress of school/work that you're spending a lot of time OUT and running around (which I know you can't help, especially with a LONG commute like that) and by the time you get home you're so drained you don't WANT to do anything else.

Right now what I'm re-focusing on is getting my eating under control and working out when I can, but I'm not putting as much pressure on myself to work out the way I was. One step at a time, know what I mean?

Sounds like you're hopping on the right track again and remember, even if you only have a few minutes a day we're always here for you and this place makes a HUGE difference in your support sytem! :carrot:

That's what I've been dealing with, but with the same boy. And his whole family eats like crap and I live at his house for half of the week. So screwed myself over the summer.

Welcome back! You've taken the first step by coming back here where you know you have the support to get back in focus again! (one that I just took myself about 2 weeks ago :D)

I think you're pretty much there when it comes to stopping the downward spiral. You know what you're allowed to eat, what the calories are, etc. I would really recommend going back to the drawing board because that's how you figured it out the last time!

If you journaled your food, then do it again. You cut out all gluten products last time, be just as diligent this time with no slips. Pretend that you're brand friggen new to this whole world.

I found that I tried to get back in the losing streak so many times and was getting frustrated with the fact that it wasn't working -- but when I was honest with myself, i knew exactly where I was going wrong. And it's basically that people like us can not take a break from our healthy lives. Which is definately something that a lot of guys (and certainly your bf included) don't understand. Our systems and our general habits make it too easy to gain the weight back.

So, I would start like this: water water water and more water. Flush all that gunk out of the system. Plan your day, few days, or a whole week of what you will be eating. Do not eat anything outside of that plan. No stops here or there for food. Bring your whole day's worth of food to get you through the car ride and classes/work. When you're itching for a nibble that you know you don't need, make some tea or brush your teeth or do anything that'll be a distraction. A lot of this is breaking bad habits afterall.

And know that you can get through this. You did it before, you can do it again. And come back here often! We'll be right there with you cheering you on.

Ghost:
Ahhh, you are WONDERFUL lady, thanks for the amazing support, it's so great to be back and to see all you ladies that I missed!
I think you had some great advice, that... no food in the car thing is such a good call. It's absolutely NOT mindful enjoyable eating, it's totally mindless and absent and boredom-eating. My goal for the next two days (the two days when I'm commuting to school) is to have ZERO food in the car, whatsoever. And I'm not going to stop for coffee along the way, because then I won't have the menu at the drive-thru as temptation for food!

Hart & Smisen:
Thank you m'darlings, it's so helpful being reminded that I've lost all this weight before, and of course.. of COURSE I can do it again! I just need to break these old bad habits! :) :hug: Good luck to both of you!!!!

Krampus:
Ohhh sooo true about the manliness of my boyfriend's response. I've mostly been with guys who are much more sensitive and laid back... but my current boy is a REAL boy in the stereotypical sense. And I both love and HATE that manliness. ;) He is super adorable, tho, yes, thanks. :D First guy I've been with who I felt truly like, "Mah man is sexay!" :D

Haley:
HIIIII! Ahhh, the dreaded "Daily" factor. A milkshake daily for you... pizza daily for me. Let's talk about some Bad News Bears.... It's all about breaking our bad habits! Let's get back on it!!!! :hug:

Feral:
Hey you!!!! You got it! I'm gonna be back here every day, even if it is just to check in in my weight-specific thread! I needz mah 3FC supportz!!!!

Prepping:
Ahhhh, I love that you remember me well enough to remember me cutting out gluten! <3
I loved your entire post, and it really made me feel inspired, and I'm gonna go get a great big glass of water right now!!!! :hug: :hug: :hug:

oh my gosh i'm having the same issues with you and also gaining 15lbs back >"<
haiz, and it's getting even harder because my dh wants to gain weight T_T"
Anyways, i'm also on my way finding my back to track.
Just want you to know you're not alone.
Lots of hugs :hug: :grouphug:

Hugs, baby. Big hugs.

Like it was said, recognizing that you need help is the first step. We're here for you, and like Haley said, PM us if you need us. I'm on more only b/c I'm sitting on my butt at work.

This is hard, we all know it. Like Jess said, if it was as easy as "just do something about it," one third of the people wouldn't be obese. We'll help you through this!!!

Whoa, Jelbb, just reading your post made me feel so grateful to be back here and have this support network. It made me so happy that there are people out there that get how difficult this whole weight thing can be.

I'm in a similar position to you. I had lost weight, was feeling fab about myself, and was planning on moving to London from New Zealand with some travel through south-east Asia on the way (which I figured with all the walking and heat, I would get rid of those last stubborn pounds). Instead, I was diagnosed with skin cancer and had to stay at home for another three months to have surgery on my lower leg to have the melanoma removed. Because of where it was, the healing was quite slow and I had to keep my leg elevated a lot and was not able to do any exercise at all. So naturally I put on a few kilos.

I finally made it to London in September, and while I lost a little bit of weight when I first got here, since I was doing so much walking, I have piled it on again now, and am probably about 8 to 10 kilos over where I want to be. I'm just so shocked how it happened. At one point I was just a little bit bigger than I wanted to be and now I'm in the situation where I can't fit into my jeans or skirts and am constantly wearing leggings and tunic tops as they are all that are comfortable!

When I moved here it took me a long time to get into a flat and so I was staying with friends which necessitated a three-hour each way commute a lot of days. I was doing a new job where I didn't really get a lunch break and so was just grabbing anything on the go, which normally involved some type of pastry and that combined with the fact that I was eating like I was on holiday, as everything was new and exciting and I simply had to try out every new cafe or bakery I came across, so I guess I can't be shocked I put on this weight.

I had hoped that once I moved into my flat and joined the gym, the weight would just fall off, but that has really not been the case. I'm finding it so hard at this time of year as well with so many social functions on and I don't want to not go out and have drinks with people when I'm in a new place and meeting people and making connections is important.

I just need to take back control of my eating. I'm in such an all or nothing position right now where if I eat something 'bad', then that seems to involve me thinking, 'Well, this day is a write off' and so then going on to binge on so many other things. I'm just starting to feel like I'm out of control!

Anyway, sorry for the huge rant. I just really needed to get that off my chest. i was feeling so depressed about my situation and that I let myself get like this again. I guess I keep thinking that I'll find the fix, but in the end, it's just going to be a lifelong battle for me. But knowing that there's places like this, and also like someone said, knowing that I've lost the weight before, I can do it again. I've got the knowledge. I just need to prioritise it and really start think more carefully about what I'm eating and also about the healthy options I can eat instead. So instead of a hot chocolate when I want to try out a new cafe with friends, I can get a herbal tea.

I think I also need to accept that it's not going to disappear overnight. As much as I would like to be able to fit into my jeans by next week, it's going to take longer.

Jelbb, good luck with your journey, and I'm sure we'll see each other around on here!