Seeing family after weight gain anxiety

  • We all go through our ups and downs when it comes to our weight. My husband and I see our family once a year and I haven't seen my sister-in-law, Heather, in almost 2 years. Well, she's visiting for a week on Monday! I'm anxious about her seeing me since the weight gain, even if I have lost a few pounds. We've all been in those situations where a friend tells you about someone she hasn't seen in years, and "my goodness, how she's gained weight". I know it's something Heather would tell my MIL. But Heather is 5,11 and weighs under 120lbs and models wedding dresses. And when ever I'm around her or my MIL they repeatedly remind anyone within earshot of how she can eat like a pig and not gain weight, or how many people say she should be in magazines. Heather is young and not very mature and that's why I'm anxious about it. I guess I never wanted to be, or thought I would be, the subject of those whispers. And I don't know how to politely tell Heather I don't need to be reminded she's got a models body.

    I'm being silly right
  • ooooo, thats rough. I have no advice, just empathy. Try to be strong.

    if it helps... my own sister can be downright evil... and she is not lithe thing either....
  • OH SWEETY you are not being silly! I felt the same way about going for my sisters wedding. the only time they seen me fat was when I was pregnant and although I had lost some weight before I went I was still so big! the important thing is your hubby knows whats going on and he really is the only one that matters. hope you feel better
  • That sucks...it is always hard to be around those people who can eat what ever they want and you feel like you have watch what you eat. But try not to worry. I totally understand I worry about what people who knew me when I was thinner would think now that I have gotten bigger.
  • Skye, you might say "If I was 5'11" I could eat anything I wanted , too.
  • My only advice is to try and be yourself, and be the happiest you that you can be...

    For years now, I've been hiding away from "those" kind of people. The kind I felt would gossip about my appearance. And the funny thing about it... was that I hadn't gained any weight. As far as I can remember, the weight I am now is the same weight that I've always been. Yet I'm STILL paranoid about it and it STILL effects me. I still want to hide away in a closet and not reconnect with anyone in my family until I can give them something absolutely positive to gossip about (and mind you, these family members of mine have never mentioned weight around me, so as far as I know, they'd don't even CARE about it. I'm just that paranoid though..)

    Don't be like me There's always going to be someone out there that says you're too big, or that you're too small, or that they excel effortlessly where you fail (and in turn, I'm sure you have your own unmatchable skills that you can one-up them with). Heck, if you wanted, you could go on and on about how beautiful you think you are (even if you don't necessarily think it's true) just out of spite. It might even make you feel a bit better about yourself too.

    All in all, I wish you the best of luck!
  • Thanks ladies. I'll have a talk with my hubby tonight and see how things go when she gets here. You'll know things are bad if you see daily ranting on my blog! Lol. Fingers crossed it all goes well!

    Quote: Skye, you might say "If I was 5'11" I could eat anything I wanted , too.
    LOL! It may get to that point. I'm going to try and be nice, you know kill her with kindness. When we last saw her my hubby made her cry because she refused to eat any food we made, so we're hoping for a tear free visit!
  • Quote:
    Don't be like me There's always going to be someone out there that says you're too big, or that you're too small, or that they excel effortlessly where you fail (and in turn, I'm sure you have your own unmatchable skills that you can one-up them with).
    I see you're about the same height as me! Yay shorties I told my bestfriend that I wanted to lose about 20lbs she freaked out at me and I got lectured that I'd look like a skeleton, not exactly supportive. And annoying considering I used to weigh 107 and I still looked a little pudgy.

    When you tell people your goal weight do they think you're crazy and react the same way?