I attended a small graduation party for a friend of mine this past Sunday and I'm kinda of considered the "goofball". I normally avoid cameras because I know the pictures will be posted on facebook...but something in me forgot about that. The Grad's mom took a bunch of pictures of us and I was making them laugh so our faces were contorted. I positioned myself behind the counter sitting as far down as I could to hide as much of me as possible. Well the pictures finally hit Facebook, front page. All 20 of them! I didn't mind most of them because I hid myself well...but then she got a candid picture of the group and I was appalled! APPALLED!!!!!! It looked like I was pregnant. WAYYYY Pregnant. It was amazingly disgusting.

I don't know what I was expecting. I am only down 15 lbs and no one noticed! Not that they would because 15 lbs on me is nothing in comparison to how much more I have to go. Not noticeable! I was having such a good day until I saw that. Now I'm more bummed then ever. I just can't wait until I can actually like myself in pictures again! Stop hiding in pictures behind counters, people, props! UGH!! I just can't wait! I want it now!!!!!!!!


I know this is a huge self-loathing b!tch rant so I am sorry for wasting anyone's time I just had to get it out. My friends wouldn't understand. I'm not necessarily looking for words of wisdom but maybe a "I understand". I don't know.

Thanks for "listening".

I understand But in a way, it not being noticeable could be a good thing- it means people arent as judgemental about your weight as you are Which I find to be a comforting thought when I have "weight related mental melt downs" Dont be too disappointed. You have started a life style change, and starting is one of the hardest bits, and your health is probably already benefiting

Yep, I totally get where you’re coming from. I avoid the camera as much as I can and whenever photos end up on Facebook I always feel horrible. Just don’t forget how much fun you actually had on the day! Oh, and please don’t let the fact that no-one said anything discourage you (they still may have noticed, but were just unsure how to broach the subject).

15lb is good work, just keep up the good work and people will start noticing...

Oh Shelly!! Big big hugs!!

I completely understand, it's not a waste of anyone's time, and you always have the right to vent! This is the perfect place to do so! I'm still new here, but it seems like everyone's friendly, and a lot of us go through the same trials and troubles during our weight loss.

Keep fighting the good fight - they may not notice 15lbs, but they certainly will notice 100lbs!

Shelly we have ALL been there, sweetie. It sucks. I just try to remember this.... I personally know I have body image issues. I think sometimes we continue to view ourselves as much bigger than we really are. My therapist said its always better to take pictures with other people for comparision rather than by youself.

As Icon said - we are always more conscious of how we look than others because we are overly concerned and self conscious about it.

Put it this way - you are starting a new lifestyle. That will be a great picture to go back and reference as both motivation and to see how far you've come.

We have all been there but what I do is use pictures for motivation!!!! Seeing pics of myself is what started this whole thing for me. I hated looking at fat pics so im trying to change that. Good luck just keep plugging away!

I definitely understand. Sometimes for me, though, the motivation is to be in those candid shots and such. That way, as I start losing the weight, it's that much more apparent to people when they look at photos of you smaller, that, wow, this chick has lost a massive amount of weight! I know it sucks in the meantime, but in the end photos like that are a great record of how far you will have come.

I hope I'm explaining that right... I don't mean to sound insensitive. I think a lot of us have had photos that made us want to run and hide.

I understand I used to be so camera shy that I would DIVE away from the camera. And if there were any photos taken of me, I would have to be the first person to see them, to analyze and inspect what my face, hair, clothes, and every bulge looked like. I might like my face in one picture, but you could see a back fat bulge. Or I'd look "skinny" in a picture but my hair was messed up. It was very rare to find one that I approved of, let alone actually liked. It's kind of odd, also, because a zillion people a day saw me walking around. They saw what I looked like from every angle. I don't know why photos bothered me so much, why a moment of my fat uncomfortable-ness frozen in time was so horrendous for me. Why I wouldn't let anybody see photos of me...it's amazing that I wasn't walking around with a bag over my head, really.

I'm not sure if you are the same way with this, but I would often purposefully make goofy contorted faces if a photo HAD to be taken of me. It's like I wanted to purposefully mess up the photo so when people looked at it they thought "oh look, they were being funny and took a bad photo on purpose" instead of "aww, how sad, they're trying to take a nice picture but that girl is fat and ugly." Ridiculous thinking on my part, but it went through my mind nonetheless.

But...good news. As the pounds come off it will change. You'll start feeling confident and beautiful. It won't happen overnight. I reached my (original) goal weight and didn't feel perfectly confident. Heck, I still don't. I lost about 40lbs, and felt like I looked the exact same. I didn't feel any skinnier, any healthier, any prettier, or anymore confident. People assured me that one day the realization would hit me and then I'd see myself for what I am, how others see me. And that did happen...I was sitting in the back seat of my friend's car and caught sight of myself in her rearview mirror. I couldn't stop staring at that tiny reflection of myself. How defined my cheekbones and collarbones were. I felt pretty suddenly. And while I'm still not 100% comfortable with my body, and I still don't relate to skinny people, I accept that I am a healthy vibrant person who deserves to have her photo taken.

Just for example...I deleted many of the pictures when I was at my highest weight immediately after they were taken. I am kind of bummed that I did because I wish I had a couple of those really awful unflattering photos to compare my new ones too. But here ya go, I actually "liked" this photo enough to put it on facebook. My bulges were relatively concealed and I was making a goofy face on purpose so people wouldn't think I just looked bad when I was trying to look good.


And this picture was taken about two weeks ago a couple days after I got engaged. We were posing, and I was loving it. I was hammin it up. My hip was popped out like a model, I was looking whistfully off in the distance, and I loved having my photo taken, lol.


Point being, for this excessively long spheel, is that I know where you're coming from with the uncomfortable feeling in photos. But fortunately, that can and will change. It takes awhile, not just to lose the weight but to start to feel beautiful. But it does change

The pictures are always such a huge motivator. Just make sure you keep that picture because when you come down, you'll really appreciate it. I hated the way I looked in all of my old pictures and so I'd rip them and throw them away, now that I'm 80 pounds smaller, I really wish I had them.

Completely understand! Urgghh... Facebook pictures annoy the crap outta me!

I'm sorry, i know the feeling. I mean i'm avoiding EVERYONE (and i mean in an extreme way too) b/c i can't handle being "seen" at this weight. It's really sad, but its my choice. The first time i managed to take a picture of myself i broke down pretty intensely.
I get pretty down b/c i can't see one bit of difference in the weight i've lost, b/c i have a long way too go, but don't lose sight of the fact you have lost weight, and you will continue to as long as you keep up doing what you are. It sucks in the present during these moments, but someday you'll be able to look back and remember this and have experiences in the future where you won't hide from the camera. Hang in there.

Ugh I completely understand! I'm usually the one with the camera, but yeah those Facebook photos can ruin your day! However, sometimes they do motivate me to get up and change...but usually just make me feel crummy.

Just realized: same height, same goal weight and in Arizona, too!

Everyone needs time to vent their frustrations. Best of luck with your goals!