I almost feel silly that this is bothering me... - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

singforthedayx · 08-03-2010, 08:24 AM

Do any of you guys worry when people in your real life don't comment on your weight loss? I really hope it's not just me. I've lost almost 15 lbs, and a part of me gets discouraged because no one really notices, or at least they don't say anything. I mean, to me - the difference is starting to become obvious as I've just had to buy smaller jeans and shirts. My one friend, who's losing weight with me also notices, but that's to be expected because we're both in the same boat. I'm just waiting for the day that someone who doesn't know what I'm doing comes up to me and says "Wow, you've lost weight!"

I sometimes wonder if it's because of how tall I am. I carry my weight really well, so maybe it's just that no one realized I was big to begin with? haha.

Yes, I do realize this is a silly thing to worry about. The only thing that matters is that I FEEL better and I KNOW I'm starting to look better... but psychologically, I sometimes can't help but get discouraged by this.

Sorry, it's just one of "those" days I guess lol... had to "vent" a bit.

Anyone with me?

ThicknPretty · 08-03-2010, 08:39 AM

I totally know what you mean.

I go in the same branch of my bank several times a week and just recently, it really started bugging me that not one of the girls there (who I am all very friendly with) had noticed or said anything. I mean, I've lost almost 60 pounds and they see me at least twice a week!!

Finally, though, one of them said something. I think it was because I wore something that actually fit that day! It felt good after waiting all that time for someone there to notice.

Also, keep in mind, some people don't feel comfortable mentioning it...they might be afraid to offend you or that you will be embarassed. I'm sure people have noticed, they just might not know how you'd feel if they mentioned it. Good work girl, keep it up!

Hickory0305 · 08-03-2010, 08:42 AM

I understand. I have only had one person notice and I feel like it's getting pretty noticeable that more people should. I'm just trying to use it as motivation to lose more so people DO start noticing!

kateleestar · 08-03-2010, 08:45 AM

I'm the same way.

My Dad will notice and say 'oh, great job kid!' but my husband? Nothing. Crickets. I was all 'i lost 11 pounds last month!' all happy like, and he was all 'thats good.' and walked away. I don't know if its because the people dont want to be wrong when they say something, but... Sheesh.

I totally understand, and it's totally normal!

winning the war · 08-03-2010, 08:45 AM

I think it's sometimes hard for people who are around you a lot to see the difference right away. But you're right, it's how YOU feel that matters. Congrats on your progress!

Cally Callahan · 08-03-2010, 08:51 AM

My inlaws have not seen me since Easter, and in that span of time I have lost about 35 pounds. In total I have lost about 65 lbs. They have not said a word about it, negative or positive, the entire time. (except the MIL complaining about having to make desserts for me with "Splendita", which BTW is something the SO asked for, not me. I would be happy to skip her desserts

)

I have a feeling they don't want to broach the subject since they are in such poor fitness and health themselves. Anyways, it would be nice if they could be supportive, but I am lucky to have people who love me on my side ALL the time.

Destinova · 08-03-2010, 08:55 AM

I think that some people feel if they mention it it will embarass you, or think that you make take it as you need to lose weight. Actually, in all honesty, when people notice when I lose weight and mention it, it does kind of embarass me.

bright83 · 08-03-2010, 09:04 AM

Besides my close family and friends...no one really noticed my weightloss till around the 40-50 pound mark. I think when we see people every day it is harder to tell the changes since they happen pretty slowly. Plus, like others have said...alot of time people just aren't sure what to say.

If it makes you feel better...my exboyfriend swore that he didnt notice I had gained 40 pounds while we were together!! lol

junebug41 · 08-03-2010, 09:24 AM

It takes time. Sometimes, people can't yet determine what is different about you; just that something is different. I had about the same starting weight and I remember the very first comment I got was, "your face looks thinner". I had lost about 35 pounds at that point. It took a little more time for people to feel comfortable saying something, but once they did? They didn't really hold back about anything

singforthedayx · 08-03-2010, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bright83

Besides my close family and friends...no one really noticed my weightloss till around the 40-50 pound mark. I think when we see people every day it is harder to tell the changes since they happen pretty slowly. Plus, like others have said...alot of time people just aren't sure what to say.

If it makes you feel better...my exboyfriend swore that he didnt notice I had gained 40 pounds while we were together!! lol

LOL - the last time I lost and gained back, I was looking through some FB pics with my friend and I was like: "Damn, I need to get back to that size." and she looks and was like "I don't see any difference." I think she meant that as a compliment, but my first thought was "Oh, she thought I was big to begin with then!" Hahaha...

cheryl126 · 08-03-2010, 09:32 AM

They probably do notice, but in my experience many people may be uncomfortable mentioning it. A couple of years ago I went from a size 14 to a 6 in a few months (40lb loss) and for a long time none of my coworkers said a word. They saw me every day so I thought that maybe they didn't notice since the change was gradual, but when they finally did say something, many were apologetic and quietly asked me in private if I had lost weight (and said that they had wanted to ask for a while). The truth was that most of them felt like it was impolite or intrusive to ask about or comment on someone's weight despite it being a positive change. I've also heard people say that they never comment on weight loss just in case the person was sick or something, so I would say that most of them probably do notice and just aren't saying anything.

Congrats on your success

Feral · 08-03-2010, 10:04 AM

No one noticed i had started losing weight until I hit the 20 lb mark. My mom had lost 50 lbs and no one at her work noticed....

I guess it depends on how you carry your weight and how heavy you are to start off with. If you're already thin someone is going to notice a small loss where as when you're heavier you have to lose more.

Don't get discouraged. 15 lbs is AWESOME!!!

08-03-2010, 10:32 AM

I've lost 28 lbs and people have STILL not noticed.

I know a lot of people are conscious about bringing up weight loss as well. They may see it, but they keep their mouths shut just in case it's not true. So just because they haven't said anything doesn't mean that they haven't noticed your hard work. Don't get discouraged! I know it's nice to hear compliments from people around you, but ultimately it's about how you feel!

Matilda08 · 08-03-2010, 10:50 AM

People have been noticing but its only people that I dont see often, keep in mind that people that see you daily wont notice right away and as others have said some people do not like to comment on WL its a touchy subject!

Passionista · 08-03-2010, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThicknPretty

I totally know what you mean.

I go in the same branch of my bank several times a week and just recently, it really started bugging me that not one of the girls there (who I am all very friendly with) had noticed or said anything. I mean, I've lost almost 60 pounds and they see me at least twice a week!!

Finally, though, one of them said something. I think it was because I wore something that actually fit that day! It felt good after waiting all that time for someone there to notice.

That would be incredibly unprofessional and a violation of boundaries. It's not appropriate to make such comments to clients in this setting; it has nothing to do with the business transaction and one can never know how such comments may rub the other person.

There are many reasons people lose weight and not all of them are positive, happy reasons and drawing attention to it implies that one is being judged based on a set of standards that may or may not resonate with the one being scrutinized.

In other words, what if someone had an eating disorder or cancer or had a miscarriage or some other condition and lost weight due to that? What if the person is incredibly shy or self conscious about their appearance and a comment on weight loss sends them into a depressive spiral, feeling like they must have been hideous before in the other person's eyes? We can never know how our words may impact a person and so to comment on very personal things like appearance as it relates to weight loss is a professional faux pas.

If one of my employees made a comment about a client's weight, they would get a stern talking to at the very least!