Today I Realized Something....

  • I. Need. To. Change.

    I thought that I was doing this weight loss thing right, and that I was really going to be able to make it to my goal and get it done...but I've been stalled out since JANUARY, and I could not figure out why...until today. I have not really changed. In my mind, this "lifestyle" is still just a diet. I still want the same greasy fatty cheeseburgers and french fries. In the beginning I resisted them because I was so completely unhappy with my weight and my clothing size. I wanted to lose pounds more then I wanted that cheeseburger......but NOW, I am smaller then I was in high school, I feel smaller then I have been in a long time, and those cheeseburgers are starting to look better and better, because I am starting to crave them more then losing the pounds.

    The only problem is, I do not just want to be content with how I am. I want to LOVE MYSELF, and I am not at that point yet. I guess you could say that I'm comfortable with myself now, but I still feel limited by my size. I will not wear skirts in public, I will not wear strapless shirts in public....and it's all because I feel like a giant still. I have never been skinny, I do not know what it feels like to be the skinny person in the room, and I would LOVE to experience it....which means, I need to change my life....permanently.

    This is not just a diet. This will not end after I lose the weight, because if it does all the weight will come back. I do not want to diet for the rest of my life, so this needs to become my new lifestyle. If I look at it like a diet, then it feels like work....and everyone gets sick of working. If I learn to love my new way of life, it won't be work anymore.

    So my question to you is, how do I learn to love this? How do I forget about the cheeseburgers and learn to love salads (which I still will not touch, I've never liked them). How can I give up all of those things that I have always seen as treats....and those things that made me feel better when I was sad. I was definitely an emotional eater, and I think part of the reason I have stalled is because a lot of crazy things have been going on in my life and I do not know how to handle them withoutt my cheeseburger, french fries, and my milkshake by my side....

    How do I go from a "diet" to a "lifestyle change?"

    I have not weighed myself in a few days because I have been scared of what the scale would say because I have had fast food every day for the past couple of days. I HAVE GOT to stop this cycle. I do not want to be the fat girl for the rest of my life. I want to have stamina, I want to learn how to run, I want people to see me as the athletic girl, not the chubby girl. I. Have. why am I holding myself back?

    I don't really have anything else to say. Any advice would be appreciated, and I'm sorry for the long rant. If you read it all, thank you for your patience. lol

  • Congrats on being honest! Why don't you try practicing maintaining for a couple of weeks. That's what I did when I felt that way. It's ok to have just one cheat day a week, I know I need it still to be sane. And when I do cheat, I'll aim for just splurging on half of what I order. You've come a very long way, but only you can decide if it's time to start maintaining permanently or continue on your journey. I hit several road blocks on mine. We all do. After a while healthy food can start to feel boring so I'd fall into temptation. I'd always feel horrible after words. So I compromised with myself to one cheat day a week and one horrible, 3,000+ calorie day a quarter. So far since I've been maintaining, I've only had two of those. You will succeed!! I know you will. But your aren't alone. That's what makes it so great here.
  • I think one of things that helps me is finding healthy food that i LOVE. You like cheeseburgers? Make one with lean ground beef or turkey, add some low fat cheese, use a wheat bun and some baked sweet potato fries. I'll make enchiladas with ground turkey, low fat cheese, wheat tortillas and regular enchilada sauce...YUM! I also LOVE sugar free chocolate pudding. When I eat those things, I feel like i'm getting a treat because they are so good. Take your favorite recipes and make the healthy version.

    Don't focus so much on your end goal, just focus on each week. If you focus on the end, its going to seem so far away and daunting. Taking it one day to one week at a time makes it easier for me.
  • guamvixen, you're definitely right. Having a cheat day once a week helped me in losing the weight in the beginning, and I'm sure that it will help now.

    jenn, You're right I should make the cheeseburgers at home and make them healthy, and I do sometimes....but the ones you get at a resturaunt taste so much better to me. That's why I struggle to avoid them and just make them at home. I do love sugar free chocolate pudding
  • Make GRADUAL changes. Our bodies aren't naturally made to digest cheeseburgers you know? The way your body will feel after you start eating healthy foods continuously will make it worth it. It did for me anyway. I feel like crap when I don't eat right now. I love the energy I have, the way I feel - healthy.

    I started by gradually switching my diet over to whole foods. This was the easiest way I've found to east healthy because there were simple rules to follow. If I don't know the ingredient in the label, or there are more then 3 ingredients; don't eat it. If it's not naturally created - don't eat it. It's not supposed to be in your body. Granted, I eat out once a week usually and drink wine - a girls gotta keep living right But that's how I did it. I LOVE the foods I eat now, just had to adjust my tastes.