I secretly fear that as I get closer to my goal weight, my relationship with my boyfriend will change. I fear that I won't feel the same way about him, not because I don't love him, but because I will feel differently about myself.
I really am bothered by this sometimes. He is my first and only BF (of 6 years now) I am afraid that when I lose the weight, I will get more attention from the boys, and then feel like I missed out on dating, one night stands and all of that stuff I never did because I always felt like I was too fat.
I really hope I am not alone in this feeling
I feel the same way! Mine even bought my engagement ring already. Granted, we are losing weight together so I'm sure I will be with him still. We fell in love with them for a reason
I regret getting married before I could lose the weight. I wish I could even wear a size 14 wedding dress- that's the size I wear now. At my wedding in 2010, I was a size 22.
I confess that I weigh every day (I only have one official weigh in day a week, but I like to track myself), and often in the afternoon as well. I justify that practice by saying that I know that isn't my "true" weight and I've retained water over the course of the day, but I like to gauge how I did that day. I'll adjust my plans for dinner accordingly.
I fear that when I reach my goal it won't be enough and I will fall back into my old ways of anorexia but I hope that 3FC will be there to help me stay on the right on track
Last edited by wolfgirl69; 04-21-2013 at 03:56 PM.
When I was in grad school, one of my really good guy friends started showing an interest in me, and I stupidly agreed only to find out that he is dating my friend (who is a tall, skinny, very athletic blonde). But because me and my friend told him to keep it on the down low neither of us ever found out. 6 months later I find out on fb they're together, meeting each other's parents and it hurts to see that. I feel like I have lost two friends (not really friends though!!) but I want to lose weight and show them I'm not someone who just gave in because I'm desperate or anything (I feel like that's what he thinks of me).
Sad to see that this is what fuels my weight loss efforts sometimes, maybe in time it will go away. I really don't like the negative energy it brings though!
But other confessions, I've only had one real bf back in high school when I was 16 and 165 lbs. I feel like I don't have a boyfriend because I'm fat (and I have family that tells me that all the time-horrible i know!)
I have a lot of friends who are promoters in Vegas and they tell me stories of how they need to get 50 cute girls in to a club tonight, but once they get 50 if all 50 aren't hot by their standards they dont get paid. I sometimes feel like these are their ways of indirectly telling me, which is probably isn't the case, but who knows!!
Some have even mentioned on fb "If you're not hot and expecting to get into Marquee on memorial day weekend, expect to pay or get told it's full" for these reasons alone I dont think I will EVER go to Vegas on a major holiday weekend.
wow..never have i mentioned these in my life, it's kind of exhilarating!!
I'm jealous of how much weight my younger sister has lost in four weeks overdoing it in the gym to detox before she took a drug test. Granted it is all the weight she gained on munchie binges but still.
I'm also secretly happy she had to suffer with how hard it is to lose weight without restricting like she did because she could finally understand its not as simple as just working out more. I'm active, but I have to heavily restrict in order to lose.
wow .... i always hated myself for having certain thoughts but i feel a little more normal for knowing im not alone
i weigh myself every morning before i eat and after i pee and i take off evreything but my engagement ring .
i am secretly afraid to eat
i am secretly glad i had a root canal as i can use this as rationalization for fear of food ( though id never want to do that again ! )
i am very insecure about my weight and in the past and sometimes even now avoid certain social situations because of it
i worry when i get hit on , i dont understand why on earth anyone would talk to me
i count evrey and overestimate calories and sometimes even when im under goal i feel guilty if im not slightly hungry
i feel dumb eating salad even though i actually enjoy them i feel like i look dumb being so fat and eatting a salad
i get very angry and emotional because plus sized clothes dont fit me right and regular sizes make me look like a sausage so its not easy getting cool clothes
i love being naked but only alone so fiance please avert your eyes
i hate my body evreything about it is wrong
sometimes if i noticed my weight moved up the next morning ill panic and starve myself back down ( i know its not right im working on it )
i worry ill never get there or that no matter how much i loose ill always be the biggest girl ( try being a 5'6 girl wearing a size 16 and all your friends are 5 foot nothin wearing size 3's and less complaining about being fat )
im secretly jealous of my thinner friends even though i love them
i get angry when other overweight people comment on my body its only acceptable to me when and if your thin
1: I was doing great losing weight until december at my tropical island trip where I was told I needed a lot of weight and was told why was I ever that fat (before the weight loss) in the first place. I haven't been the same since. It felt like no amount of compliments or anything does anything. I want to lose weight but I also have been trying to forget it ever happen but the weight I put back on is a constant reminder.
2: sometimes I wish that I could exercise and just surf the internet at the same time. When I'm on the treadmill I think if I were doing what I normally do on the computer but instead while I'm on the treadmill I'd never get off and have to be thin because I'm exercising so much.
3: I hate how my acquaintances can only think of going to restaurants and eating as the center of hanging out. When I make suggestions of healthy activities no one is available.
4: It feels awkward going to bars and restaurants knowing that if I were thinner I would be dressing myself better.
5: When I feel fat I buy more accessories than clothes.
I also weigh myself daily after using the bathroom.
I secretly want to be thinner than my ex best friend,who was always just 30-40 pounds smaller than me.
I'm super glad i lost 40 pounds of pregnacy weight in 9 months because i know more than one person who was just slightly plump, and then blew up after having their baby. And they are still giant many years later. (So horrible i know)
Also happy about this because i know my ex friend thought nasty thoughts about how i was forever gonna be stuck with pregnacy weight.
I'm mad that i've lost 50 pounds but still wear the same size clothes.wtf???
I judge people for what they eat. Even skinny people, because i tell myself that they are not healthy eating such junk.
Even though my bf of almost 10years has always been under 200 pounds, i still want him to lose his belly. And secretly get reeeealy upset that he makes excuses not to exercise even though i make them too.
1) I promised my boyfriend that I wouldn't try to be <100 pounds again (which I only achieved once in my adult life, and I had an eating disorder). Yet, in my weight loss "fantasies," I still want to be that weight. I don't know if I'll ever shake that, because when I look back at pictures of myself at 100 pounds I think I look good. Everybody even thought I looked healthy, and I was eating "enough." I was just mentally ill.
2) If I'm going to use a guy for motivation, it should probably be the guy I've been with for almost 2 years. However, I find that it's the guy friends and acquaintances and ex-boyfriends that I really want to look good for. When I got with my boyfriend, I was slightly overweight and rapidly gaining more. I'm afraid that when I'm actually thin again, I'll find it more difficult to be faithful to my boyfriend and our relationship may eventually be ruined. This makes me afraid that either I can't commit, or I don't actually love him. Both scenarios are terrifying.
3) I absolutely love my older sister, but I don't even want to be in the same room as her ever since I re-entered the obese category a year and a half ago. I have been avoiding my entire family, and I used to be close with all of them. I'm just too ashamed, because they were all so proud of me when I lost all that weight, and now I can't seem to get it off a second time and it's just.. blech.
4) I honestly can't decide whether I'd rather be obese or be anorexic. I know this is a false dilemma, but it truly feels like those are my only 2 options.
1. One of the reason I want to lose weight is to help me get pregnant. I am scared of becoming pregnant and undoing all of my hard work.
2. I am afraid of becoming so obsessive about weight loss that I become anorexic. I have noticed that there are days where I am actually scared of eating.
1. Even though I'm one of the thinner girls in my group of friends, I feel like they LOOK smaller than I do.
2. Sometimes I can't help but talk about food/exercising/weight loss. I will try and change the subject to it whenever I can. I know this irritates some of my friends/family who are bigger. I've been accused of "fishing for compliments" etc. but the truth is, I don't feel like I deserve compliments because I still have so many problem areas, and I only bring it up because I think about weightloss/exercise/etc. 25/7.
To add on to 2, sometimes I have a hard time focusing on work/friends/etc. because I am busy thinking about what foods I will eat and/or the exercise I will do over the next few days.
3. I used to be obsessed with thinspo and restriction diets. Sometimes I feel that obsession coming back.
4. My boyfriend commonly tells me that he doesn't want me to get too skinny and he thinks I should focus on strength and not loss at this point, but I know that the girls he dated before me were often smaller/more fit/more attractive than I am and even after knowing him for 4 years, and dating him for almost 2 years, and his constant validation etc. I can't help but think he misses being with his thinner ex's and/or thinking he secretly wishes I were thinner/more attractive.
5. Sometimes I hate being a pale blonde girl with very round facial features etc. For whatever reason, most of my boyfriends in the past (and currently) have generally dated dark haired girls often of different ethnic backgrounds from my own, and I'm insanely jealous of that look, and the fact that I can't obtain it. And I feel guilty about it, like I'm ashamed of my families genetics.
6. All of my boyfriends siblings/mom/aunts etc. are very, very, tiny and very athletic (running marathons, playing sports, etc.). When we visit them, I always feel out of place, and I go to extreme lengths to avoid eating in front of them, performing physical activities (don't want them to see my lack of athleticism and poor stamina), and wearing revealing clothing like bathing suits.
My confession: I haven't gotten my wisdom teeth out yet, and I also happen to be about 20-30 lbs from where I want to be, and I can't help but think about how oral surgery usually has people losing weight, and a lot of people I know ended up losing 10lbs+ when they got theirs out
(and I know its the unhealthy kind of weight loss, but dang is it tempting after being on a plateau for almost a year)
Some have even mentioned on fb "If you're not hot and expecting to get into Marquee on memorial day weekend, expect to pay or get told it's full" for these reasons alone I dont think I will EVER go to Vegas on a major holiday weekend.
Oh god, that is my worst nightmare. I have never been confident about my looks and you always see on TV / hear stories about girls only being let into clubs because they were attractive enough. I absolutely dreaded the idea of going with my friends sometimes and being excluded at the door because they were so much smaller / cuter than me.
That never happened, but I also hardly ever went to clubs. I really don't enjoy clubs for other reasons though, so I suppose it all worked out.
