everyone thanks for the replies!!! I apologize, I must make a looong post
8675309 and
everyone else: yes I definitely
want to change, because all my life I have been very very self-conscious and withdrawn from society, you know when you are 7 and kids start calling you FAT already and they keep on all your life.. it'a hard to think of yourself as "normal" and likable. I was never liked by my peers, I was never considered as a potential girlfriend cause I was so tall and fat, I was "embarassing". So over time I just stopped trying... I guess I take rejection bad.. I'm not bold and optimistic and energetic and sunny
the ME I have been up til now is this: I plan everything I do to be noticed as little as possible, to BOTHER people as little as possible with my fat and ugly presence. I never did physical things cause obese 6' girls look clumsy and get laughed at, for instance. I'm terrified of not being liked and I panick at social gatherings.. but people who only know me recently expect me to be bubbly and social and self-confident and are shocked at my thoughts and feelings. That's the social status I am talking about, they expect me to be VERY social outgoing and think like a very well adjusted person, but.. I have never done that in my life.. I have been alone all my life.. I am not saying all tall fat girls are destined to become like me, I probably am just over-sensitive, I dunno. I just don't like hurting, so I tried to stay away from the teasing as much as I could. And that meant staying away from the whole world. And not even then the world left me alone, wanna hear? I was walking with my friend coming out of a movie theatre, a tram passed by, I wasn't even looking that way, 3 boys leaned OUT of the tram window just to shout at me: "hey, mammoth!" and I ignored them, but they wouldn't stop anyway. What on earth did I do to them??
Iconised Ghost yes, people *do* treat me differently, now they wanna involve me in things, now suddenly I'm part of the "tribe of the normal". Also, I am trying to change my wardrobe from male to female (I didn't think I could wear feminine stuff when I was fat, so I only wore neutral very covering things), and everytime I'm not dressed in a sack, everybody notices! And they all have to comment on my non-baggy t shirt, or my tank top... I feel over exposed and I panick. I hate people noticing me, I hate people noticing my wardrobe. I just want to wear sleeveless when it's extra hot without everyone staring!
carmenm uhm I was never an incredible person >.< but I think you are right, I have to be proud of the small goals I achieve. I did it all by myself, so I guess..
preppingbride hi tall sis
well I don't see myself as knockout.. when I'm fully dressed and I suck my belly in I look just fine, but in a bikini you can see the biiiiiiig belly, the upper thighs, the lower back, the back of the arms.. =_= uhm the toning part actually is mighty fine, I find it easy to do a bit of weights everyday, so my muscles are in good tone ^_^ I need to do more cardio, instead, to get rid of the layer of fat ^_^" Oh and.. "Enjoy yourself in whatever body you're in." UGH I was never able to do that :'( teach me!!!
Digging Deep and
redliss7 tall girl thread:
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/supp...all-girls.html oh, and
Digging Deep: I have stopped losing weight for like 8 months ^^;
redliss7 see above for description of how my body is.. stupid body keeping the extra fat not evenly distributed, but localized. HATE ITTT è_é I'm like a bird with round belly and skinny lower legs now.