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Old 03-13-2010, 07:12 PM   #1  
I will make time!!!
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Unhappy my struggle& my future( need to get it out of my head)

I'm going to become an actress...I'm soooo fare away from that at this point. but I know in my heart. I know, it will happen. It's why I'm alive. I have a deep deep passion for acting, it comes to me naturally. I have many things in my path. The odds are against me. But I believe in myself. It's hard, I'm not doing good with my school work, I can't focus. I'm starting over this weekend. So many things I want to get done. I'm the only person who can do them. I feel alone. But that's ok. I've given so much of myself to other people, I'm trying to learn to love myself. That's all I want. To love myself. Get some confidence and derection. I need to get a job and my licsence...and an ajent.

all I want...is to respect myself...

for people to see me, really see all my potential. I'm in theatre right now. But I'm so unsure if I'm going to take theatre2 next year. I don't feel like I can grow in it. I'm like a johny deep in that way. I fly solo, in a sense. My teacher and the older theatre kids have said they see alot in me, but my quitness has detured them...my theatre teacher says I have a very different look, and that I'm beautiful, I don't look like other girls. That I have potential...that I have good contrast in my proformance...sigh...but but... I don't get it. I'm very insucure about myself. why would someone say something about the looks part? that flattered but bothered me. I don't feel pretty at all right now.

anyway.... I just need to find my power. And do it. I want to show everyone who has ever stepped on me. I want to show it to myself. I know I'll get there. But I feel like I'm stuck. I want to be myself. and shut everyone out of my mind. THAT is all I need. I just need confidence and to pull my strength from my soul. I can do it. I will. But for now I'm very very weak. and I am an emotional wreak. No one is there for me. I want suport from someone who really knows the derection I'm going in.

I want to act becuase it's my passion. But I also want to help the world, I can reach so many doing what I'm going to do.

I am also going to be a famious auther, and painter.

I'm here on this Earth to help people. But I have to help myself live first. I've never felt alive. Only used.
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Old 03-13-2010, 07:37 PM   #2  
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SWEETIE, may I say something to you ... you are only 17 y/o so you have a lot of time to learn and grow yet. Have you ever heard of assertiveness training? You can sometimes find these classes (esp for women) in a community college. I had a friend who took one and she loved it; she made many new friends and they were taught how to be more assertive, yet in a good way ...

I don't know why you aren't happy with your body, but I was thinkin' that 5' 9" at only 144 lbs can't look all that bad; at least not in my imagination. I had a friend that was only 5' 7" at 140 lbs and she looked quite trim and nice. Maybe you aren't seeing yourself the way others see you; as in your teacher who told you that you were beautiful. When I was your age, some other people would say things like that to me and it kind of surprised me as I didn't see myself that way. My friend told one fella to say that I was "cute" as gorgeous was a bit heavy on the mind ...

I think what bothered me was that I really didn't want to be seen for my looks alone; I wanted to be appreciated for my mind, my intelligence, my talents, skills, and gifts too. If you go into the professional acting field, you will definitely have to remember not to take things too hard -- what people say, good or bad ... I mean, not to let it bother you. That profession can be a bit shallow, as you know ...

But you still have lots of time; and other interests too like your art and writing. You could take courses in English (as in writing) and Art, and do drama on the side if you are still really interested in that. You are young and have lots of time for that.

I hope you find what you are looking for; keep your options open and look for opportunities along the way. As John Lennon once said, "Life is what happens when you are busy making plans" ... BUT to that -- I would add this, "Don't forget to live your life, while you are busy many plans!"

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Old 03-14-2010, 01:55 AM   #3  
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First of all, you have to be dedicated and motivated every single day. You have to be prepared for rejection. You have to be prepared that you might not get your "big break" for 10 years. And if you're insecure about your looks, then acting is the worst possible profession to enter, besides modeling. Do you know why agents and casting directors want headshots taken? Because they want to know if you look right for the part. There are few actors who aren't attractive, but they make up for that by being very comedic, funny, and damn good actors. Unfortunately, however.... they're mostly men.

Welcome to the real world, where women are almost solely judged by the way we look. Men are too, but they can get away with being unattractive if they're funny, like Will Ferrell. But if you're insecure about your looks, people will tell, and you won't get parts. People who are cast are confident, and are sure of themselves. Anyone who says that they're not confident are full of it.

I know some people who are professional actors, one guy is a regular on the new 90210, one woman is in Hair on Broadway, and a couple others are theater actors who do national tours. It's exhausting work, and they've all dedicated their lives to being actors, even since before high school.

You might love it now, but in five years, you might hate it. I wanted to be an art historian in high school, and I ended up getting my degree in English and am trying to be an editor and work for a publisher. My point being that your tastes can change over the years and do what you love, and it might turn out. But always have a back-up. The last thing you want to be is one of those "actresses" who live in LA and wait tables on the side, and then it becomes that you're a waitress who occasionally has an acting job on the side.

My fiance knows someone from high school who always wanted to be an actor. He's like 25 and is only doing commercials. He's been doing it for 10 years and only gets commercials. And I doubt he has a back-up plan. So you can go down that path too, just be prepared. Make sure there's something else you're good at.
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Old 03-14-2010, 03:19 PM   #4  
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Justwant2Bhealthy-about the assertive training...sounds good, but I know I can become more confident, I'm just at the starting line to get to that point.
oi, oi, oi. She was talking about my face, not my body. I'm not seeing myself in a distorted way. If I could accually show you what my body looked like, it's like...I have a skinny torso and I gain all my wieght in my hips, stomach, butt, and thighs. if I lost 10 more pounds of fat, it would be to the 'time to tone' phase. I'm jiggly, but with my hight I can carry it well. The problem is my body frame, it's not big enough for my hight so that's why in a way I'm alittle on the cubby side. If you looked at me, you would see a average curvy girl that could trim down alittle. I just want to be healthy, and not jiggly. Were I can feel more confident in my skin and not pull my jeans up all the time to hide the roll that wants to stick out, or to always pull my shirt up and down. I can relate to that. But honestly I think most don't think I'm pretty. I don't care about that, I just want to think I am.
I know this profession is shallow. It accually doesn't make sense for someone like me to want to be an actor. Most would label me as a loner, and shy. But I know it what I'm suppose to do. I've been acting in front of the mirror for a long time, untill one day I realized...I love it. I want to entertain people. I know I'd be great at it.Beucase I already do. First I want to be a vet becuase I love animals, an artist, then a magician, then a direction....so most involved around entertaining. (I still would love to derect in the future, I used to make home moves-drived my family crazy with my camera always stuck to my hand)
Acting.There is no doubt in my mind. At all. I'm never going to give up. I'm stronger then that.
But accually I don't have alot of time, if this is what I want to do, not really. I'll have all the time in the world for painting and writing. They will be my back-ups. I'm thinking about going into a acting school/colledge in California or Nevada...but at the same time I feel I have all the skills I need. I know that's an ego talking. But I know me. I know it's true.
Thank you, Justwant2Bhealthy...for caring.

sunflowergirl68-Yes. Exactly. I'm going to be modivated every single day. I can face rejection. It's not about the big break. I'll get there when I get there. It's about giving a great preformance. And reach alot of people, touching alot of people in that way. Yeah, I believe it doesn't matter if I don't have the right look, becuase I have the right heart. and that's enough. I have the skills. haha, and I can be damn funny. few, got that covered.
I want to be exhausted. I'd kill for it. becuase I love it that much. I'd be like, "whoaa, yeah. Let's do that again!!!" You might roll your eyes at me for saying that. one importent thing that you don't understand is that, I'm subborn, I don't give up and I don't give in. This is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life, I'll be able to show you guys. Becuase actions are more powerful then words. You can't see threw the computer to see my burning soul, that is ready to jump out of my mouth, and set the world on fire. I feel that passionate. I've unknowingly been waiting my whole life to discover this type of passion for something. I'm not going to change my mind. YOu can't change your mind about something you love. It's like changing your mind about wiether you love your child or not.
Yeah, I may end up hating the busness side of it, I'm not saying I will not to that. But I'm going to see to it that nothing can make me hate what I love to do. That would be like hating myself for who I am. I'm tuffer then that. I'm damn to strong to let that happen. I know I can do this. So I will.
It will take alot of modivation, sweat, tears, and time. But I'll get there. I just need to find the right path, and then do down it. It's going to happen, becuase I'll never stop trying to do what I am suppose to do. I have God on my side to help pick me up along the way, if I stumble. But I'll get back up and keep walking until I cross that final corner.
Exactly, I'm not goint to be that waitress. I'll be that student, or student/artess, something with more meaning and freedom untill I 'make' it.

I see what your saying, and that scares me. I'll admit I'm scared. I'd be stupid, not to be scared.
One step at a time though. Maybe, just maybe...I'm not like his friend...or just a waitress...maybe...deep within, I'm better then that.
I'm better then that. God be my witness. I'll be ecstatic to tell you, when I get there. Thank you so much sunflowergirl68, you made me stand up for what I believe in. <333333

I'm goind to get there. I am special. I am going to be going places.

I dreamed a dream.

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Old 03-14-2010, 10:50 PM   #5  
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Hate to say it but painting and writing isn't a good back-up plan. You don't make a living doing those things unless you're incredibly talented. It's just about as impossible to be published and be a successful writer (and painter) as it is to be a successful actor. out of the millions of people who want to be actors (or writers or artists) probably a handful are successful. I have a friend who wrote a book and she's been trying to get it published for 6 months now. And even then you don't make money.

If you don't have a job where you can't make money, you won't be able to make ends meet. I hate to be realistic. I just don't think you understand how much money it really costs to live. I'm 24 and I live in a small northern california town, and I have about $600 in bills every month, plus food, cost of living, going out, etc. And i do get paid well, but not enough.

And if you want to live in LA or Manhattan and be an actor, then you'll have to pay upwards of $1500 a month for a closet of a studio, and the cost of living is much higher. I can't afford that now on my salary and I work full-time. So just be prepared to be broke. It's not fun living on a credit card.

I will honestly suggest going to a four year college and majoring in business or something else that you're good at and minoring in theater. You can still try to be an actor but you'll have more of a secure back-up that will make you money.

When I was your age, painting was my passion. Writing poetry was my passion... but sometimes a passion is just a passion. So go to college. Every person i know who is a successful actor now went to college.

My best advice is to be prepared to be broke, to be rejected, and to have a job to pay the bills.
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Old 03-15-2010, 09:30 AM   #6  
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Don't give up.
Seriously. It will be hard. You will hear "no." trust me, I grew up in theatre. I acted all my life. I went to LA, auditioned, got some roles...
at 98 pounds I was told I was too heavy. I was told to get a nose job, a boob job, highlights, lowlights... No one was ever satisfied.
You HAVE to be confident. You cannot let them see
if it hurts you.
But still... If you love it, don't give up. I did. It became too much, I struggled with eating disorders, went to treatment, and quit. Be stronger than that. Nothing is worth giving up on your dreams. You will get there. Nothing is beyond your reach if you try hard enough.
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Old 03-15-2010, 06:27 PM   #7  
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sunflowergirl68- I see your point. But why worry more about back-up plans. It's just a backup. I am that talented. I should give you some examples of my work. I promise I will-I've worked on some story ideas for a book in 2008. I'll show you some paragraghs-but I don't have it on my home computer. Many teachers have said to me," remember me when your famious(author-wise)." I was humiliated in elementry school for being know as the best artist, I was coy from the attention.
I'm deffinetly not going to pick a back-up that I don't love. I thought about what you said last night, while I was lying in bed. I molded it over in my mind.

I love them all. None is going to be a backup for the other. I'm going to live out my life as I want. my soul-just to create a masterpiece. It makes my heart weal up with enlightened love. And writing, aw, the writen word. I love it. Love to paint a picture in someones mind.
Acting, to me is both. It's visual and mental. A moving picture that speaks. It's alive. I guess I can't choose a safe back-up-I'm not that type of person. I can't. I know it's stupid. But I'm doing what I love and that's that. I can't help it, that's just the way I'm put together. It's who I am. My mind can't go there. I am thick enough, and as long as I believe, people will believe in me. All have writing and painting on the side, when I'm stable with acting.

I know I'm starting late in the game, that's made me worried. But I'm not worried anymore about that. One of the most successful actor has never had any acting experience, and started late in the game. I'm just as powerful.

If that's what I want to do, it says something funny about me. Doesn't it? Life isn't all about the money, I know, I know...I'm ready not to be rich. But I'm ready to feel rich, and alive. I'm already poor.
I just will not have much. But what's in my heart will not make me stay in my possiable future for long.

Thank you so much. You've shown me the light in a way. I'd amit I was alittle ignorate. I believed in my skills so much that I was thinking about getting my foot into the door out of highschool, accually next year, or late this year. I changed my plans. I'm going to go to teathre next year again. I'm going to plan on going to an acting school/challegde. But I'm sure not going to let someone tell me it's unrealistic. I'm listening to what you have to say, and agree with what your telling me. The thing is, that is true for just about everyone out there trying to make it. Except for me. I'm not everyone. I'm Tiana Marie Goldman.
So the overall chance is different when you accually plug the person I am into the equation. I reach for the stars. I'm not going to settle. Or say, "Well I'll never go fare in life." or "Well, I guess I'm just not good enough." No. I am. I trust in myself. My own mother, is realistic like you too. Which is understandable, and I greatly respect the **** out of that.
It just has made me even more driven. It's sharpened my mind, and I can see in more clearity.
I know what's coming for me. I know the odds. I know I'm a moron for not having a netting for saftey. I'm proud to be that moron.

In what way are they successful? If you don't mind.
sunflowergirl68-I know I'm being a wiener. I hope you understand why. I want to thank you for helping me so much. You have made me look into myself. Made me realize...everything. Your one of the first persons I'm to say, " Look at me. I did it. In your face!" but with love
You should make time for your passion. That makes me sad, you shouldn't give up on that. A passion is a passion.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you. You've given me much in this short time. Thank you for caring. <3

one more thing, I'm not like your friends.

ValentineNicole-I know. I'll never give up. I can't. It's not in my dna. Giving up would be like dieing. I will be confident. I'm getting there. I can geel I have barried confidence somewere. I think I've proved that in my writing. I am confident. What am I talking about, I am confident. I feel very very confident. I am learning who I am right now is all. I'm blossoming. I'm just now in the process of breaking out of my cocon(Sp). I'm sure I'll be hurt sometimes, but I'm tuff. I'm not going to change myself in that way, if that's what they are asking those are the wrong people. That's not going to happen to me. I'm sorry you went threw that, that makes me sad. I don't want people to give up.
aw...thank you...that really touches me. I think that all the time. I can't think badly-those thoughts just don't happen. I can. and I will. It's my truest destiny. I'm going to help so many people...I can't wait.
Remember my name. You'll see it again.

thank you guys, so much.

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Old 03-15-2010, 08:21 PM   #8  
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SNOWwolf ~ Don't be offended or put off by what people say here ... I think that you should pursue yours dreams, becuz if you don't pursue them, then how could they ever come true?

Most people in the entertainment field are multi-talented, multi-gifted, and multi-skilled. I think the most important reason to continue your schooling is to PERFECT THOSE SKILLS, and you will grow and mature during that time; and your confidence will grow too. You have a lovely name and a familiar one, and that may help you in some way ...

I think too many people don't pursue their dreams. They should at least give it a try, like VALENTINE-NICOLE did -- to know whether it is the right thing for them or not; and you won't know that until you do try your hand at it.

We all know famous actors, singers, and entertainers that have gone on in their later years to become accomplished writers and artists; one success flowed out of the other, ie Red Skelton, Tony Curtis, and Paul McCartney. These men were all very successful in more than one area.

I hope we do see your name in the headlines someday, and your dreams are fulfilled -- but do remember that GOD put us all here on this earth to help others along the way ...

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Old 03-15-2010, 09:16 PM   #9  
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Snow wolf I wish you all the best. I know a lot of people who started out dreaming big but never acquired the courage to actually attempt it. I applaud anyone who can at least try to accomplish what they set out to do rather than take the path of least resistance. Masochistic? Perhaps, but then you know.

A friend who was such an inspiration to me and had so much talent and passion and such a love for music when we were younger never followed his dreams. I've reconnected with him and it saddens me that this joy he once had for music is completely removed from his life.

I would encourage you to become as educated as you can on your disciplines. That will only help you. I started in musical performance and went to college for it. I realized that my dream was to be in music and I didn't really want to perform. I went on to study music indstry and LOVED it. I ended up interning for the GRAMMYs doing something that made me the happiest I've ever been- putting $$ to good use in New Orleans after Katrina and re-establishing school music programs. It was that long, odd journey that opened my eyes to what I really wanted to do.

I now head a committee in my home state that does similar things to what I did with the Grammys as well as work in music and hospitality (my 2 favorite things)

I guess what I meant by that rambling is that I'm not a professional classical musician (my 16 year old self would DIE at that notion!), but following that dream opened my eyes to the things that make me happiest in this world.

I wouldn't change this journey for all the $$ and fame in the world. I hope you are as blessed by following your dreams, even if your life doesn't look exactly as you pictured it at 17.
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Old 03-16-2010, 01:16 AM   #10  
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Snow wolf, I'm an actor as well. I had a convo w my boyfriend the other night... I was crying and a complete mess, telling him that I WISH there was SOMETHING ELSE I could do. Something more conventional, something safer, something that would bring me financial stability. But there isn't. Rich or poor, famous or nameless, I am an actor and there is absolutely nothing else I can fathom doing with my life. While I understand people wanting to preach about practicality, about having a back up plan, there's just no way I can live like that. my life isn't "practical." I wish it was, because it would make things (like buying a house, getting married, and starting a family with said boyfriend) much, much easier. But, it's not even a choice for me; acting is a part of my soul.

If that's how you feel, and it seems like it is, then having low self esteem is an incredible hinderance. Buy a journal and try to figure out why you don't love yourself like you should, and try to change it. You have to love yourself in this business, it will tear you apart otherwise. how many times have you heard people pick out a lovely woman's miniscule flaws bc she is famous and plastered on a magazine cover? It will happen. Oh well. If acting is a part of your soul, then you're in for a tough life. But it won't matter, bc you'll be doing what you love.

That's how I feel at least. Hope this helped.
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Old 03-16-2010, 01:37 AM   #11  
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I'm just saying.... I'm 24 and broke and you need to be realistic. I'm not saying to give up on your goals and aspirations. I'm saying to have a back-up that will keep food on the table, your rent paid, clothes on your back. have another skill. I still write, I still draw and paint, but for now, that's just a passion of mine that I do in my spare time. I'm not counting on making money on it, which is practical and what people do. I don't care to make money on it. It's just something I do for me.

There's a reason for the saying "Don't quit your day job."

I just can't help but to be a realist, probably because I'm a college grad and poor. And to be honest, it's not realistic to say that you want to be an actor, writer, or painter, simply because of how competitive those fields are, and how many people want that too. Every single successful actor, writer, and painter who didn't have a trust fund or a rich parent or a famous parent all had back-ups to pay the bills. That isn't to say that it's impossible to be successful, but it's nearly impossible.

I'm not quite sure what you mean by saying you're starting late in the game. You're in high school.... you'd be starting late in the game if you were 30.

"In what way are they successful? If you don't mind."

Who? My friends from high school?

One guy is a regular on 90210, another friend is on Broadway starring in Hair, and two others do national tours of musicals. All went to college.

If you think about it, it's the same as wanting to be a pro athlete. There's a reason why most pro athletes go to college, it's to have a back-up. Because they might not get drafted into the pros. So my best advice is to go to college, pick a major, have another skill. So many actors went to college and had a back-up. ****, some actors have put their profession in hiatus to go to college like Natalie Portman, Claire Danes, and Ashley Judd. Just look up actors who have gone to college.
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Old 03-16-2010, 12:08 PM   #12  
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All I have to say is go for it. Reach for your dreams while you're still young, you'll have time to be realistic later. Just be sure to go for it with your whole heart, if you half-*** it you'll definitely never make it.

And sunflowergirl, it's 100% doable to not go to college and still live a pretty good life, and a fufilling life at that, doing what you love. Neither my husband nor I went to college, he works and I stay at home with our two kids, and we own a house, a car, and have some money in savings. Sure we do without the premium cable channels, and we eat alot of ramen and we don't have all the fancy stuff in life. Our income even puts us on the borderline of poverty, but we're happy. Because we're doing the things we want to do. And in my (eternally optimistic) opinion that's what matters.

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Old 03-16-2010, 12:24 PM   #13  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Latchkey Princess View Post

And sunflowergirl, it's 100"% doable to not go to college and still live a pretty good life, and a fufilling life at that, doing what you love.
I know plenty of people who didn't go to college and make it just fine...

If its your dream go for it. Be prepared for what it entails, but don't let anyone talk you out of it.
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Old 03-16-2010, 01:42 PM   #14  
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I admire your tenacity. I'm glad that you're passionate -- that's very, very important, and it makes me sad how many people decide to give up on their dreams. I'm 22, and all around me friends are settling in jobs they don't want because they haven't gotten their big "artists' break". It's sad. I've decided I'm never going to give up like that, either.

Ever since I was a young child it was my dream to be an author. I wanted to write tons of books that tons of people would read. Everyone warned me to find another profession -- anything else. "Writing doesn't pay." I turned my back on them, and kept writing. I'm still writing now.

I will say, though -- and I'm trying to say this without sounding like some sort of self-absorbed hotshot ... I have written ten novel-length stories (200+ pages each). I won two scholarships in college for my writing. People have always told me I have a talent.

But I'm graduated from college now. And though I've had lots and lots of practice, and some success already, I have never published anything. If I were depending on my writing to have a place to live, food to eat and clothes to wear, I would be starving naked on the street.

I, like nearly everyone else, was forced to be "practical" and find a full-time job. But you know what? That's fine. I work with autistic kids full-time, and it's a job I thought I would hate, but now I love it. I love those kids. And I'm good at it... which I never, ever thought would happen! I used to think I would never be happy with anything but writing, but I was wrong. "Practical" does not always equal "soul-sucking" or "giving up on your dreams". I have enough money to support myself completely, which is wonderful. And I still have enough time to write, and to keep trying to get published.

The writing world is tough. Really, really tough. I'm trying to say this gently, but proper grammar, punctuation and spelling are the bare minimum. If you want to be a writer, you'll have to practice writing -- and learn the technical skills of doing so, too. I expect that artistry or acting is much the same -- passion is fantastic, but you also need practice. And you need to learn the relevant technical skills in order to be taken seriously.

Best of luck.

Last edited by Skyra; 03-16-2010 at 01:47 PM.
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Old 03-16-2010, 06:29 PM   #15  
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Hey again!

I agree w Skyra about having the technical skills relevant to your passion. That is an absolute must! Study and learn so you can apply those skills! I myself am headed off to my acting class in about an hour to do some repetition exercises
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