OT- No expectations
 

So, this kind of relates..but not really. I have never been a very confident person, especially when it comes to guys. So, there is this guy in one of classes that I like. He's fun to talk to, and he's funny. I just really enjoy talking to him. So, I had been thinking about adding him as a friend on facebook (I asked a friend if it was acceptable to do this). So I did. But I'm not expecting anything to come out of any of this. I'm just putting myself out there because I wont know if I don't try. But I guess I'm wondering if its just as bad to have no expectations compared to not trying at all?

And I suppose that I'm not expecting anything because to be honest...I'm not sure I would want to date me...again, is this bad? I guess that I have to get over my fear of rejection as I go through my journey, right?

I understand completely what you mean. I usually wait for the guy to make the first move...which they never do. lol. i'm impressed you added him. that's a good step!

The thing is though, while I'm not confident about my appearance I would want to date me. Lol. I'm pretty laid back and easy going...I can be funny (I make me laugh anyways :P). I'm smart. And I"m not ugly...but guys don't seem to agree. I thought the fact that I wear jeans and a tee everyday would be appealing because it shows I'm low-maintenence. Come to find out, what you wear can have a HUGE effect on whether a guy finds you attractive (a guy friend told me he "liked the whole package." And suprisingly to me, they go for the girls who dress up everyday. Which blew my mind bc I thought they'd be put off by someone obviously high maintanence (i'm talking about one girl in particular who all my guy friends are after-who isn't all that pretty but wears dresses and skirts 360 days of the year). Go figure.

Getting over fear of rejection is easier said then done. I feel like I'm so scared of getting rejected that I have an invisible wall that scares guys off. Like I'm giving off a signal that says: I dont want you either...and I don't know how to take the wall down either. Does that make sense?

So basically, I feel ya, but sadly have no advice to offer. Good luck!

P.S. I don't think it's bad to have no expectations. MUCH better then blowing things out of proportion in your head. Get to know him first and see where it goes...

You know what, if you're into him...Just tell him!!!

Seriously. What harm can come of it? I understand being self conscious...because I have ALWAYS been like that. I would always wait for the guy to make the first move...and then if they didn't make a move, just assume that they were not into me....but guess what...sometimes they were, and they were just as chicken as I was.

Longish story:
I had a friend in high school who had a crush on this guy for YEARS, and was always too chicken to tell him....and he died about two weeks ago now...and she's DEVASTATED because she never had the guts to tell him...She's honestly been flipping out...
Which leads me to how it affected me...

There is a guy, a great friend of mine...I've known him for about 8 years now...and all of those 8 years I have had feelings for him...well after I saw what a wreck my friend was...I racked up the courage and just told him...and guess what, he liked me the entire time too, and was just as scared of saying something as I was. I mean, 8 YEARS I could have been with this guy...and right now I have a bf and I can't even be with him...but seriously...I just WISH I had the guts to tell him 8 years ago...Things would be so different, and I would probably have been a much happier person.


Point of the story: Just tell him! You never know, he might be just as self conscious as you...and you could end up a very happy person =D