I think you might have kind of answered your own question. You find it hard to let go BECAUSE you want your relationship to work! It sounds like you need to do some soul searching and really figure out what you want--do you want to end it and move on? Or do you want to stay together and try to work things out?
If you decide to end it, then you need to do it and walk away. If you guys keep talking and going back and forth with the relationship it's just going to make things harder. Before I met my husband I was in a relationship with someone for 4 years--he was a great guy, he didn't cheat, he treated me so good...but after 4 years I got to the point where I knew that it just wasn't meant to be...he wasn't "the one". He didn't do anything WRONG...but I just knew. So I broke up with him. It was SO hard because I felt like he didn't deserve it. For the first week or two he kept calling me wanting to work things out. It was hard not to give in, but I knew that splitting up was the right thing. So I quit answering the phone. I completely avoided him, which probably sounds mean, but it was for the best. Not talking to him made it easier for me to move on and heal (because even though I was the one who broke things off, it still hurt A LOT)...and I'm sure looking back on it, he probably realizes that it was the best way for him to move on also.
If you decide to stay with him, then both of you need to make a serious effort to WORK on your relationship. Communication is KEY. Sit down and talk about things...CALMLY. Don't turn it into an argument. And make PLENTY of time to have this talk. Tell him how you feel and what things you want him to work on. Then give him a chance to let him tell you how he feels and what he wants you to work on. Then you both have to make the effort to WORK on those things. It's hard to change certain things when they become habits, but they CAN change. And if you find that either one of you aren't trying to make those changes, then it may be time to move on. And be patient with it. If you find him making an effort to work on the things you talk about, but at some point he slips and goes back to his old ways, don't fly off the handle about it--TALK. It'll take some time and no one is perfect.
I hope I've helped a little. I'm certainly no relationship expert, but I have been very happily married for almost 7 years...all of my advice is from personal experience! Best of luck to you in whatever you decide to do!!
Last edited by Amba Dawn; 02-25-2010 at 09:22 AM.
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