my husbands indeciciveness ruined Vday ... OT - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community


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Old 02-14-2010, 04:00 PM   #1  
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Default my husbands indeciciveness ruined Vday ... OT

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i MADE plans today because i know that my husband never plans anything for valentines day .. he always does something VERY expected ... he waits for me to tell him exactly what i want.... 5 years later still knows nothing about me ... anyways ... i tell him i want indian food today but im not cooking so lets go get it. we like a certain buffet because you can take the exact amount you want and then take diff vegtable curries.... the buffet ends at 2 and its an 45 minute drive from our house ... so we would have to leave home at least by 1 .... we overslept ... its 1 30 and he is insisting we can make it on time ... i told him i didnt want to go out without getting all dressed up its valentines day after all i need at least 30 minutes to curl my hair etc ..... hes like yeah we have time for all that im like HOW ? he is like well if they dont have it we will figure something out ... so i tell him i need to be accountable for my calorie intake i need to know WHAT were having .. hes like idk well figure out something so im like WE CANT GET THERE IN TIME what is the backup plan? ... his awnser - you think very negative we CAN make it in time . so i got mad and im like you know what you wanna go ... lets go , ill drop on some sweats and a baseball cap ill be ready in 10 i just need time to shower ill even brush my teeth in the damn shower .. i get out of the shower hes like i dont want to go there .. so im like fine where do you wanna go ? hes like where do you wanna go im like oh no , dont do this to me the last time we played this game you sulked about the restaurant i picked cause you didnt like anything on the menu .. hes like nvm we'll just stay home ... i agree i think this is a good idea at this point .. 15 minutes later now 1 :50 ... still insisting we can make it to the restaurant ... lets go after all ..... i get ready .... hes like no i dont think we can make it .. sorry honey ... so im like what ever im going to get my book and get into bed ... i change back into my fuzzy robe get back into bed .... suprise !!!!!! .... his reply ... im going to warm up the car lets see if we can make it on time ( its now 2:30 at this point ) .... im beyond fustrated i hate people who make plans and then go through the should i ... shouldent i stage for hours on end .... ughh ... very fustrating ! indecisiveness in men is such a turn off .... maybe this is why you shouldent get married at 17 ...
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Old 02-14-2010, 04:04 PM   #2  
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oh btw i should mention i MADE plans today .... he insisted i cancel my plans because he planned something super special

AKA -- the plans .. ask me what i wanted to do that day .. he had made NO plans ...
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Old 02-14-2010, 04:23 PM   #3  
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Sorry you had such a bad valentines- but if it was 1:30, the buffet was 45 minutes away, how could you have made it if it ended at 2?

Hubby and I take turns planning out V's day. Last year he planned, and this year I did, and it's worked for us.

I think it's time that you two just say you BOTH messed up by waking up too late and now since you are the one dieting figure a place you can go and both enjoy.

When I look for restaurants I look to see if my husband will like the food AND if I can enjoy it as well.
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Old 02-14-2010, 04:48 PM   #4  
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I would have been frustrated too at the back and forth.. after the first time I would have said forget it. I think age may have a LITTLE to do with it, but my DH is 29 and still can be indecisive.

Good thing mine is at work this week, so we didn't have to plan anything today. Next weekend we are going to do something

Don't let it ruin your day.
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Old 02-15-2010, 02:14 AM   #5  
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Honestly, I would have gone without him after the first bout of indecisiveness. But I gotta tell ya, imho getting married young has nothing to do with it (I got married at 18, and now at 26 my husband still can't ever make up his mind). I think it's just a guy thing. They don't want us to be mad because they make the "wrong" choice, but they want us to read their minds and know what they want so we can suggest doing what they want to do and that lets them off the hook completely.

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Old 02-15-2010, 06:48 AM   #6  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CHUNKEY_MUNKEY View Post
random rant

i MADE plans today because i know that my husband never plans anything for valentines day .. he always does something VERY expected ... he waits for me to tell him exactly what i want.... 5 years later still knows nothing about me ... anyways ... i tell him i want indian food today but im not cooking so lets go get it. we like a certain buffet because you can take the exact amount you want and then take diff vegtable curries.... the buffet ends at 2 and its an 45 minute drive from our house ... so we would have to leave home at least by 1 .... we overslept ... its 1 30 and he is insisting we can make it on time ... i told him i didnt want to go out without getting all dressed up its valentines day after all i need at least 30 minutes to curl my hair etc ..... hes like yeah we have time for all that im like HOW ? he is like well if they dont have it we will figure something out ... so i tell him i need to be accountable for my calorie intake i need to know WHAT were having .. hes like idk well figure out something so im like WE CANT GET THERE IN TIME what is the backup plan? ... his awnser - you think very negative we CAN make it in time . so i got mad and im like you know what you wanna go ... lets go , ill drop on some sweats and a baseball cap ill be ready in 10 i just need time to shower ill even brush my teeth in the damn shower .. i get out of the shower hes like i dont want to go there .. so im like fine where do you wanna go ? hes like where do you wanna go im like oh no , dont do this to me the last time we played this game you sulked about the restaurant i picked cause you didnt like anything on the menu .. hes like nvm we'll just stay home ... i agree i think this is a good idea at this point .. 15 minutes later now 1 :50 ... still insisting we can make it to the restaurant ... lets go after all ..... i get ready .... hes like no i dont think we can make it .. sorry honey ... so im like what ever im going to get my book and get into bed ... i change back into my fuzzy robe get back into bed .... suprise !!!!!! .... his reply ... im going to warm up the car lets see if we can make it on time ( its now 2:30 at this point ) .... im beyond fustrated i hate people who make plans and then go through the should i ... shouldent i stage for hours on end .... ughh ... very fustrating ! indecisiveness in men is such a turn off .... maybe this is why you shouldent get married at 17 ...
Sorry to be brutally honest but it sounds like your fault. You were acting like a complete pain in neck (trying to be some what nice). You need to calm down, its no wonder he didn't want to go out with the attitude you had.
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Old 02-15-2010, 09:03 AM   #7  
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My husband gave me a spice rack. Might as well have been a vacuum...
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Old 02-15-2010, 10:21 AM   #8  
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Yeah, I have to say... I think there were a lot of points in that story where you both went wrong. I can understand being upset at his indecisiveness, but you played along with it. I would have said at the beginning, "There's no way we can make. I mean, the math doesn't work. Let's come up with a new plan." There would have been no going back to the plan you obviously can't keep.

So it seems like the bigger problem was the inability for the two of you to compromise and negotiate a NEW plan. It appears neither of you really tried. "Where do you want to go?" "No, when I pick you get angry, you pick." "No, when I pick, you get angry, you pick." It sounds like he really wanted the original plan to work, because apparently coming up with the plan in the first place was a minor miracle.

My husband and I, we just name off places. If you like it, you say so. If you don't, you say so. It helps that we are both pretty easy going...
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Old 02-15-2010, 10:23 AM   #9  
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my husband didn't get me anything or plan anything. what a great v-day!
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Old 02-15-2010, 10:32 AM   #10  
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I wanted to add that he was acting odd, thinking you could make it and all. That could easily mean he did have a secret plan he was going to surprise you with, he just needed you to get out the door.

Btw, to summarize my earlier post: You can't blaim it all on his indecisiveness, when you wouldn't decide either. Just a thought.
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Old 02-15-2010, 10:39 AM   #11  
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On the other hand, I must commend you for taking the initiative and planning in the first place. It appears it never occurs to some women that they could take the initiative. I WANT to have a say in what we do. Sure, a surprise flower or chocolates can't hurt, but that doesn't mean I'm going to lay around and wait for him to tell me what our dinner plans are. Ok, I'm done. Sorry for the rambling.
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Old 02-15-2010, 10:41 AM   #12  
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I can understand why you're frustrated, but quite honestly, it sounds like your plans were ruined when you guys slept until 1:30, lol. And I'm sure he was frustrated with you for being a crank when he was trying to be optimistic. I agree, that maybe he did have secret plans if he was just trying to get you out the door. This sounds like one of those times when both of you just need to breathe, realize you were each at fault, and move on. Definitely not something to get too upset about or to hold onto.

At least you had your guy around for Vday...mine is in Iraq I did get a teddy bear, flowers, a note, and a call though, so I was happy
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Old 02-15-2010, 11:27 AM   #13  
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I agree with most of the other posters. It was a double fail. If going in the first place was so important, there should have been more of an effort to wake up on time. I completely understand not wanting to go anywhere else, but if that is the case and you are the one declining to eat somewhere then you've added to the indecisiveness. It's all easy for me to say though. I'm not really a valentines day gal. I love the stores being in pinks and purples, but I don't expect anything on that day. Birthdays and Christmas are the only gift giving holidays in my mind... but after our first 3 Valentines days apart (army, school, & air force training) I was just stoked that we got to actually spend it together.
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Old 02-15-2010, 02:29 PM   #14  
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this thread is hilarious! (not in a bad way!) .. my bf can't make a decision to SAVE HIS OWN LIFE. CHUNKEY_MUNKEY - does your husband happen to be a libra by any chance? lolz mine is - and he can't decide on whether to breath out of his nose or his mouth sometimes lolz
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