Do you have a sense of what size you are? - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

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Old 01-28-2010, 12:51 PM   #1  
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Default Do you have a sense of what size you are?

Kind of related to body dismorphia, I suppose. I don't know if I have an accurate sense of what size I am. Or what size I look like. I know I should not worry about how other people see me, but it doesn't stop me from thinking about it.

My best friend is a tall blonde. I've always described her as a tall skinny blonde chick. Not unhealthy skinny, but when I look at her, I think skinny girl. She's fit and athletic looking. Since I've always been self conscious about my weight, we never discussed sizes or weight or anything, but now that I've lost weight, I'm more comfortable with it. I mentioned that my size 10 jeans are getting too big, and I need to try on some 8/9's. She said that she was size 10, and my jaw almost dropped. I would have assumed that she was like a 5, haha. When I look at her, I think skinny. When I look at me, I do not think skinny. But apparently we are the same size in pants. And if we are the same jeans size, I wouldn't be surprised if I weighed less than she does since she's a couple inches taller than me (which, I realize, taller can make the same size look skinnier).

Anyways, not that I'm obsessed with comparing myself to my friends, I was just surprised. Perhaps other people look at me and think skinny too? I couldn't imagine it!

I guess I just have no idea of what size I appear compared to other people. I know that sounds strange since I look in the mirror and see pictures, but I think it's a common problem for girls. There was a show on Lifetime a few years ago, How to Look Good Naked. These self-conscious girls would compare themselves to other women of different sizes. They always thought they were closest to girls of much bigger sizes than they were.

Do any of you have this issue? I bug my boyfriend sometimes and say things like "am I about that girl's size?" and things like that. I just don't think I have an accurate sense of it.
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Old 01-28-2010, 01:04 PM   #2  
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Just when I think I know what size I am, I'm wrong. I do that too... I'll ask my husband - Am I about that girl's size? More often than not, he says - No, you're much smaller. It makes me feel good, but it also makes me wonder how other people see me. I'm in a size 12 right now and when I look at 12s in the store, they look too small. Lo and behold, I put them on and they fit.. It's weird to me. I would like to think that eventually I will have a better handle of my actual size. In the mean time, I'd rather be thinner than I think, than heavier than I think.

Last edited by stargzr; 01-28-2010 at 01:05 PM.
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Old 01-28-2010, 01:18 PM   #3  
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I'm the same way, I think I'm much much larger than I really am. It's sort of weird though, because when I was at my heaviest I knew I was big, but I didn't think it was that big and pictures of myself always surprised me because I looked so huge. Now I think I'm much bigger than reality (I think I'm around a size 18) even though I'm wearing size 12. So weird...hopefully once I get to my goal weight my brain will adjust to the smaller me.
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Old 01-28-2010, 01:26 PM   #4  
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I was the same way.. I would ask my DH if I was a girl's size that we saw out somewhere. This was back when I lost weight the first time.

But NOW after I gained all this weight back I think I was the opposite.. weird as it is. I gained weight and didn't realize how big I actually was. I didn't think of myself as a "big" girl. But then I saw pictures! I was like wow.. I didn't realize that was how I looked! That is what I got back on the scale.

It was a big eye opener for me. I can't wait to be back to where I was before.
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Old 01-28-2010, 01:31 PM   #5  
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I'm a 10 too, and 5'10". For me it's definitely the height... people think I look really skinny, even though I'm a size 10.. I can pretty much feel my hipbones and have a small tummy, so for me if I lost the rest of my belly I'd probably never go below a size 8, which means for me, a size 10 IS small. I think it's all relative.
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Old 01-28-2010, 01:38 PM   #6  
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You raise a good point. but, I see myself as SMALLER than I am. Huge denial issues I guess. It is only when I realized my size 20 were getting tight that I realized I must do something about this situation.
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Old 01-28-2010, 01:44 PM   #7  
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Adding to my own thread...

When I was at my highest, I had realized I gained weight, but I didn't realize HOW much I had gained. I could no longer fit in my jeans (the skinniest jeans I'd ever owned), but I figured I'd just gone up 10lbs or so. I have now lost 25lbs and now I fit into those jeans. Also, looking at the few pictures I didn't delete of me at my highest weight, the most flattering pictures of course, I am surprised how big I was.

So I've been on both sides, thinking I was bigger or thinking I was smaller.

I wish I could take a photo in a leotard suit, and blur my face out. And then have a bunch of other photos of different-sized women in the same outfit with blurred out faces so I didn't know which one was me. Then I could line them up from smallest to biggest. And then I found out which one of them was me, so I could see where I placed me when I was thinking of it as an annonymous body.
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Old 01-28-2010, 01:48 PM   #8  
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I'm Nthing the whole, "I actually think I'm smaller than I am!" thing.

I never actually felt like I was huge, and, like someone else said, I'd be totally surprised when I seen myself in a picture. I couldn't believe how big I looked!

I mean, I know I'm fat/heavy/obese, whatever you'd like to call it. But, I'd really be mortified at the pictures.

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Old 01-28-2010, 01:55 PM   #9  
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I'm a size 7/8ish, 5'4.5" female... probably a S in tops, M in bottoms. I'm pear-shaped, meaning that my top is relatively okay, but most of it goes to my thighs. My roommate is a 5'8" very tall and skinny type. I was looking in her closet because I was trying to find out her size just so I could get her a birthday present and I found out that she's actually wears a L in juniors...and is a small in dresses. The same as I. So bizzare!

I definitely know the feeling mkendrick! Just remember every body is different. A size might be good for one person and the same might look horrible on another... it definitely varies. I know that a size 10 looks horrible on me, when probably on my roommate, it would look great. Just keep in mind your body and building up your confidence. Who cares about the others?
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Old 01-28-2010, 03:05 PM   #10  
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Our bodies are such an illusion!!! People always assume I weigh less then I really do. When I was weighing 150's some of my coworkers could not believe it but at that time I was 6/8. Taller people do look skinner (and might be) but its really their hips that might be keeping them around a size 10 or so. If you look at their legs their jeans/pants might be looser in the legs but fit right in the hips. Its so hard to compare you body to even someone who is your same height because your frame/build could be totally different.
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Old 01-28-2010, 03:05 PM   #11  
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No, I don't. I weigh 220 lbs and I wear a size 12-14. I can even fit into some size 10s for tops and skirts, but I know that's definitely vanity sizing. It's not like I have a huge bone frame or like I'm really tall... I'm 5'7" with a normal looking bone frame but apparently I have dense bones and a lot of muscle, in order to be this weight and wear a size 12-14.

Anyway... shopping is surreal for me and it's taking me time to get used to how I look in the mirror/in photos. I have to lose at least another 30 lbs before I look just average and not noticeably fat. But the thing is, people estimate my weight to be 30+ lbs less than it is, but I definitely identify as being fat and can't imagine not being fat unless I get a lot smaller. I don't think I have body dysmorphia, because body dysmorphia is supposed to be irrational. I think it's rational and reasonable for me to need some time for my mind to catch up to my body.
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Old 01-28-2010, 03:11 PM   #12  
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I'm 5 ft. 9, and weigh 140. Yet I can close my eyes right now and picture myself, and I see me the way I remember being at 220. I look in the mirror and see the belly that's still there, the fat left in my thighs and backside - hate looking at myself in the mirror NOT dressed.
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Old 01-28-2010, 03:21 PM   #13  
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Yes, lately I've been the Queen of Denial and thus I think I am smaller than I really am. Truthfully, I sometimes expect to see my "old" 50 or 60 pounds lighter self when I look in the mirror. And I'm shocked to see how I really look.

Now, when I was younger, there were times when I saw myself as bigger than I really was. I look at photos of myself in my 20's when I thought I was "fat" and I'm actually quite thin. I've always had wide hips and a butt, those were things that drove me nuts in my youth. But hips, butt and all, I was still thin.

I didn't even begin to start loving my normal-weight body the way it was until I hit my late thirties.

Now, in middleage, my dysmorphia issues are of a different sort.
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Old 01-28-2010, 03:59 PM   #14  
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I have big issues with this. I always feel like a look huge...but I'm sometimes still surprised somehow when I see pictures of myself at HOW huge I look. I'm kind of struggling right now because I've lost weight, but I don't see it. I don't feel it. My clothes are bigger and if I look at a specific body part (for instance: my ankles...I have some now lol), I can tell, but if I look at myself from head to toe, I still see big.

I would love to be a size 10. That's actually my goal. But I know what you mean...I've always assumed that "skinny" girls were all a size 4 or 6, but height and frame really play into it. I don't think I could healthily be smaller than an 8 and I wouldn't look good any smaller on top of that.
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Old 01-28-2010, 05:19 PM   #15  
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Definitely no I'm in the "think I'm wayyyyy smaller than I actually am" camp. I went to a beach wedding back in November when I was down about 10 pounds and I wore this little brown dress that I thought looked fantastic. I just saw some of the pictures and they're horrifying! The first thing I thought was, "Well, no wonder I can't fit any standard sized knee-high boots - my calves are huge!!!" Makes me wonder how I'll see myself when I actually do reach my goal...
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