Hi ladies,

I just need some encouragement and I know I can always come here to feel better. About a month ago my 2 best girlfriends and I decided we wanted to throw a hotel party. So my other friend who works for Hilton booked us a suit for 40$. Great deal, I was so pumped! So, I invited all my friends, told people to bring friends, yada yada.

As the date approaches (tomorrow), my friends keep flaking and canceling. It makes me feel horrible. Do they not care about me enough to commit to a plan? Did they just decide - oh I have other more fun things to do then hang out with Sarah. My one friend who was planning this with me even flaked. After we had picked this date because she COULD make it....

Turns out I have 2 friends and my boyfriend coming. The other girl who was planning this, and the girl who booked the hotel room. And my boyfriend is going to bring some friends or else what's the point - a huge hotel room with hardly any people.

I just feel like my quality of friendships is lacking. I'm in a transition right now. Leaving behind all my loser college friends (which I had a ton of, but are no good for me) and trying to find new adult, head on straight, friends as I graduate college.

I'm just feeling very lonely

I know how that feels. This year I transferred schools for rowing and I left behind my old club team, amazing sorority sisters, and network of genuine friends. Here I have good friends too; however, I often feel lonely because its not the same as it was back at my other school.
I'm trying to not to dwell on it. I think for both of us, that the right relationships will come at the right time. We just have to stay positive and continue to put ourselves out there. Good luck with the party! I'm sure it'll be fun.

Yeah, talk about transitioning for me. I had a baby 5 months ago and my friends rarely call me. My best friend abandoned me...literally. she was so supportive during my pregnancy and even right when the baby was born but now has been MIA for couple of months. I can't go out now with a little one at home but a nice lunch or a shopping trip with her would be great. I am learning to let go and focus on me for a change. I am tired of accommodating everyone and sometimes I ask myself, would she do the same thing for me. And the answer is no.
Sorry you are going through this. You know what, if I were you, I would invite a couple of other people to the party and make it a blast. Show your friends what they have missed....and make sure you have a knockout outfit on and take lots of pictures ))

Hey Sarah, that really sucks. It happens to me too. I planned a party last month and originally thought about 10 ppl would show...it ended up being me, my bf, and my ex-roomie, who is my best friend up here. I find it really hard to make meaningful friendships up here now that most of my college friends have left. Right now I'm just riding it out till I go to grad school, but if I still have this problem even in a new city, it will be time for drastic friend-making measures, like joining a knitting league or online tennis exchange, lol.

Aw, Sarah, I'm sorry! That's the reason that I moved from NJ to MD - I had more/better friends down here, and I didn't want to spend all of my time alone.

Just have a great time, if those people are being flaky and canceling, its their loss!

And Forest - if you move back to DC to go to Georgetown I would so join a tennis league...I want to play, but playing with the boys is annoying because if you beat them, they don't want to play anymore.

Thanks ladies, it's good to know I'm not the only one feeling this way.

Summer and stargzr - Thank you for the advice. But the sad thing is - I already did invite all my friends, there isn't anyone else I CAN invite last minute....

Oh well - I have to make the most of it. It will still be fun, but it's the moral of the whole thing. And the fact that I'm realizing I'm really lacking friends.

the people who are meant to be there will be there. thank the universe for weeding out the bad seeds for you. dont fret about what the party could have been, that will just make your friends who are there feel like crap. be glad about the people you do have, live it, have a blast. if the energy is still screaming "partay!" with just the 4 of you, go for it! its its more of a chill, kick back vibe, grab some beers, some munchies, and a couple of good movies. if they're real friends they'll enjoy just spending time with eachother. you said it yourself. you've changed and are moving on to different types of friends. change can be tough but its necessary.

anyway, HAVE FUN!

i was just going to say pretty much what calissa said- use this as a weeding out process to see who really is your friend and then take it from there I'm sorry you found out that these people arent worth your time in such a harsh way but maybe it is better to know and be able to do something about it, rather than think you can rely on these people

What is with people not being able to stick to plans lately? I'm sorry honey...that is such a bummer. I can relate (as I see a lot of others can too!). My birthday last year was similar...we made plans months in advance and some people came, but a lot who said they were "so excited" and would "definitely be there" were suspiciously absent. It hurt my feelings, but I still had fun...

People are just flaky these days. And I don't think they think about how it makes the person they are flaking out on feel. They just blow off one plan for another or for nothing else at all and don't really consider that it makes someone else feel bad. In all honesty, I've done it myself.

Chin up...I hope your party is a blast anyway. You got a great deal on that room, that's reason for celebration!

And if the Hilton has a jacuzzi I'd say it's $40 well spent

Stella- I'm always looking for tennis buddies...now if only these darn schools would mail me my decision...unfortunately it usually takes till early March. Be forewarned tho--I suck. But I'm a very gracious loser lol. I'm used to it--I go bowling all the time with my bf who used to be in a league, and never ever win. Although now that I'm in such better shape, who knows, maybe this summer I'll actually win at some tennis.

Sorry for the thread jack!

I feel the same. I have hardly any friends in my home town. I have one really good friend here. Mostly, I hang out with my bf and his friends. His friends have become my friends, but still its not the same. My best friend has been MIA for months, I haven't seen her since August. Part of that is my fault, as I haven't made an effort (I don't like her bf all that much) and she can't seem to do anything without him. Plus, we're in slightly different places, but I miss her.

I'm trying to make friends but it's hard, I feel like such a looser sometimes. I just wish I knew how to meet people.

So I feel your pain!

I suppose it really is quality over quantity when it comes to friends.

Anyone from Minnesota? lol

I know what it's like to feel lonely! When I got super sick basically all of my friends dropped me. I'm only now starting to build new friendships. I think most people (esp our age) have no concept/patience for chronic illness. It's like they expect me to "get better" already. I don't complain about my pain level, I just don't hide it either. If I can't get up and walk around today, I'm not going to make up an excuse not to go see someone, I'll tell them why.

It's taken time but I'm developing friendships with people who totally get it.

And anyway, online friendships are for only the coolest people anyway!

Hope you'll have a great time! My friend and I had an even smaller party last week...just me and her, and we had a blast