my advice, grab a bottle of vodka... losen up a bite, and get it on!!
Haha! I concur with this.
Also, I am not comfortable with my body but I always wear something nice to cover it up... I have a lot of tight camisoles that I wear under everything and to bed and during extracurricular activities with the bf, as well. Aeropostale sells really great, extra long, snug fitting camis that suck those rolls right in. And the extra long part is important so it doesn't creep up your belly! I'm an apple shape so I always have that problem and it drives me NUTS.
Anyway, I think a guy would appreciate a bigger girl who was fun in the sack over a skinny girl who was so self conscious that she was pretty much a non-performer. I have some guy friends who are pretty obnoxious club-going types and they can hook up with gorgeous tan, blonde, skinny girls then never return their phone calls because they were so boring in bed. Just be bold and brazen... CONFIDENCE is sexy.
Divine, I'm going through something similar, except I'm just single. I'm considering therapy myself, but I've done a little reading on some exercises that I can do myself, mainly just telling myself over and over - you are not ugly, you are beautiful, flaws are okay, etc. I also find that exercise really helps me when I feel like this. Maybe it's the endorphins, or it could be just an hour of me saying over and over again - you can do this, you're awesome, etc. I know it sounds silly, but it does work.
But I do agree you have to love yourself first, and that can only come from within.
Thanks everyone for all the advice. Loving myself is definitely something I'm working on...I've talked about all this with my boyfriend and he is nothing but supportive. I told him we're going to have to take things slow for a while, that I need to get comfortable with myself and comfortable being around him, and he said that's fine and that he just wants me to feel the same about our intimacy as he does (apparently it's a very emotional thing, and I've actually been detaching all emotion from it to avoid how I've been feeling about myself, well until recently when the intimacy stopped all together)...
I'm definitely lucky that he's so supportive...and I think I'll be able to work through this. I looked at myself in the mirror this morning....and I guess I didn't seem as bad as I thought I was. I mean I still have the lumps and bumps and stretch marks, but I have lost a lot of weight, and some of it really is going away...
I actually measured myself...and realized I have a pretty desirable figure. 40-32-41....That's like almost an hourglass figure, right? I guess that's pretty cool...lol
I'm trying to find things to help me feel better about myself, and so far I've found a few things...and I'm still working on finding more. I'll make it through this, thanks for all the support guys.
my advice, grab a bottle of vodka... losen up a bite, and get it on!!
haha. Love it!
Quote:
Originally Posted by MiZTaCCen
I think you should look in the mirror every day and pick out something you love about yourself. And every day make it something different.
I agree. I was going to mention something along these lines as well. The 300+ forum has a "Something Positive About Myself" thread that I think is a very good exercise for women of ALL sizes. Find something positive about yourself EVERY DAY!
Seriously. Hit up the lingerie department. In the beginning of my relationship with my boyfriend, I was very self-conscious and refused to let him touch me with the lights on. But when I got my hands on some flattering night gowns, I felt much better. I was happy because he couldn't see my tummy under the silky fabric, and he was more than happy with the "outfits."
It's hard for me to find lingerie that fits...not because of my size, but because of my boobs. I'm a 36F...and it's pretty damn near impossible to find lingerie with an actual cup size made for a 36F...and if it doesn't have some sort of cups...the "ladies" definitely go south (they're just too big and too heavy to support themselves anymore. I've had stretch marks on them for YEARS because I used to walk around my house a lot without a bra on and they didn't like supporting themselves)...and I don't want to spend the money on lingerie if it's not going to make my boobs look good, they're one of my best assets when they're supported right...lol.
Trust me, I've looked. I'd love some lingerie...that would be one thing I could get used to...I'd be covered up enough to feel comfortable...but uncovered enough to where he'd be happy.
I'm a 34J ( yes, a J! ) so can totally relate to that. Check to see if Bravissimo ship overseas. I get all my bras from there and they are WONDERFUL. They are really supportive (you can jump up and down in them and nothing moves!) and they look great too. They really made me feel happier and more confident. They have nightdresses and vest tops with added inner support too, which are brilliant. I don't know what I'd do without them! (Apart from wear granny bras that make my boobs look like soup plates, and be miserable...)
Really hope you find something, wearing a proper bra that supports you is SO important!
If you do end up getting anything from there, don't go for the 'Freya' styles, they're a bit rubbish. Get a
the 'panache' brand - they are the best!
They do ship overseas...they actually sent me a catalog....but since I'm in the US, they don't do returns...and I'm just extremely nervous about buying something that I'm not sure is going to fit me and not being able to try it on first....and with shipping to the US, a lot of it is pretty expensive. That was one of those things I was going to wait for until I got to my goal, cause they had a lot of gorgeous stuff, but I didn't want to order something that would only fit me for a while..
What about a cute waist cincher or underbust corset? It has the sexy look of a corset and covers the belly but you're free to wear whatever bra with it!
