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-   -   Does anyone try to sabotage you? (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/20-somethings/188676-does-anyone-try-sabotage-you.html)

19Deltawifey 12-24-2009 02:08 PM

Does anyone try to sabotage you?
I was just wondering if anyone tries to sabotage you and the progress that you have made. I think my coworkers aren't intentionally trying to sabotage me but I do feel the pressure from them to eat because it makes them not feel so bad about eating unhealthy stuff. Now that Im not eating any of the unhealthy stuff at the school I think it makes them feel bad and I noticed that some are avoiding eating the food also now or limiting there portions since I have. Now I eat the salads and I dont touch the cake, cupcakes, pie, desserts, etc. And I think that motivates them a little but Im heavier then them so maybe they feel like wow she's eating healthier I need to step up my game and eat healthier. IDK

Does anyone else have to deal with the outside pressure to eat more?

Oh and I don't feel bad for turning the food down I think now they have given up on trying to feed me junk. So my persistance has paid off

bargoo 12-24-2009 02:35 PM

Oh, yes, the saboteurs are all around. Stay Strong.!

JadeBlue14 12-26-2009 09:10 PM

My dad does it all the time. Unintentionally, I'm sure. But he'll go out and bring me home cheese fries with out seeing if I actually want them. And then I feel bad for not eating them because he always plays the "I was thinking of you and you don't even appreciate it" card. I've learned to break things he brings home into tiny portions and eat it over like 4 days. That way I don't hurt his feelings, and I'm not completely blowing my calories.
I've found ways to adjust, but it can be hard with food coming from every angle.

Mikan 12-27-2009 02:26 AM

My family was like this all day on christmas. Just the comments, they watch you looking at the nutrition facts, tell you to get a bigger piece of pie, etc. You have to be careful around people who have tried diets but give up often because they want you to do the same and relate. It is very hard to deal with, because the biggest source of temptation to overeat is yourself, so others can become your excuse.

Phoenix301 12-27-2009 09:45 AM

I was quite lucky this year at Christmas. I still could of eaten better.. if anyone sabotaged me it was myself 2 of my cousins are on the same trek as me and have been pretty successful so it was nice to have other people watching their amounts etc. There may of been a few comments but I didn't personally have anything happen or be pushed to eat something I didn't want.

loquaciousjogger 12-27-2009 01:26 PM

Yes, one of my good friends (who is stick thin!) was telling me about how she just ate healthy for a few days and already lost the weight. Then, goes to try to give me cookies/candy. Ugh, took the bait...

platformnine 12-27-2009 01:39 PM

Loquacious - That's exactly how my best friend is, the girl is rake thin and can eat all of that junk and it barely affects her! Over the summer she was a size ten and she worked out with me for a month and dropped to a size six pretty effortlessly.

Thousandsunny 12-27-2009 01:59 PM

My best friend and I sabotage each other constantly and it's not even intentional half the time. I'll say "Well, I already blew today by having that cookie, lets go get drinks and mozzarella sticks!" and she'll be all in for it or she'll say "Man, I ate a cheeseburger and fries for lunch, screw it lets go get ice cream!" and I'll follow along. It's hilarious but something I should probably watch out for.

angee phalangee 12-27-2009 04:32 PM

My husband and a couple of my best friends do.

My husband still insists on keeping junk in the house, and everytime he goes to eat candy or something junky, he always makes sure he offers me some...twice.

My best friends are the same size I was when I started, and they pretty much hate that I've lost weight. So not only do they tell me that I look weird now, but when I hang out with them, they taunt me with food and laugh about it.


arumaru 12-27-2009 07:28 PM

Not in my day-to-day life, no. I haven't yet gotten to a point where I look amazingly different, but I'm noticing that people are already acting strange about my weight loss. It's not all positive.

Stella 12-28-2009 03:30 AM

I`m extremely fortunate. All those who matter to me are extremely supportive.

My husband still offers me chocolate and wine if he is having some himself, but when I decline, he`ll say: "Okay, I don`t want to tempt you but I can`t not offer!"

My friends are complimenting me all the time ("You`ve lost another stone - which is 14lb - every time I see you!"), even the skinny ones ("Gosh, look at you - we are the same size, that`s fantastic! Now we can swap clothes!") and take a genuine, not exaggerated, interest in what I eat.

My family is geographically distant, but my mum and sister ask me every time we speak about my weight or size, not my eating. They`ll ask questions such as: "I bet it feels great celebrating Christmas wearing a nice frock in a smaller size, does it?" Totally sweet. I`m so fortunate.

There are very few others who, I feel, are a bit jealous, but they don`t make me eat, either. They`ll pass comments but nothing I can`t handle. Others just don`t acknowledge it at all, not even if someone else says something first.

maenad 12-28-2009 06:07 AM

i am a self sabotager. My BF is supportive of whatever i want and is happy i am getting thinner, he wants me to eat but is glad to help with portion control (usually by eating half of my food off my plate!) My number one problem is alcohol, I am good about controlling my food, but when i drink i drink alot and end up going thousands of calories above my aloted amount...and all i have to do is order a diet coke rather than a beer.....

jkinboston89 12-28-2009 09:09 AM

Most of my friends do this!! All but one! It's soooo frustrating.
My fiance is extremely supportive and when we go out in company he sort of plays the buffer and tries to help when comments come my way, my family is mostly supportive, but my friends are really terrible.

All of my thin friends tell me how I don't have to be so careful about what I eat. Afterall, they eat whatever they like. For me, it's actually pretty easy to avoid unhealthy food now. I don't crave it anymore. Sure I could work it into my plan, but I don't WANT TO. My thin friends insist that I have to eat some junk blah blah blah.. but who's to say that it's a must. I don't actually WANT it.

I just seriously need to come up with some good responses to these people who think I'm going overboard when I don't eat cake every day!! Does anyone have some good responses? Anything I say comes out sounding very defensive (which it is! but I don't want to come across too harsh).

When it's someone new, I'll just tell them I don't like the food, that way, in their mind, it's becomes an ok decision to not eat the cake.


mkendrick 12-28-2009 09:55 AM

Quite honestly, and I am NOT proud of this, I have more or less intentionally tried to sabotage people losing weight. If another heavier friend in the group got serious about getting fit, I'd find myself constantly belittling her and tempt her with food and tell her to blow off exercise. I realized I was doing this, and I did feel bad, but somehow making her feel bad and pressured about weightloss seemed to make it easier for me because I was not losing weight. It was my own shortcomings getting in the way.

Now that *I* am the one losing weight, I don't think anybody could stand in my way. I've had a few friends poopoo on me for working out and counting calories. On one hand I feel for them, because I know how they're feeling. On the other hand, it makes me even prouder that *I* am getting fit. I know they're only acting that way because they wished they were losing weight too.

People let their own heads get in their own way too much. If I had put half as much energy into just joining the club and losing weight instead of being annoyed that my friend was and sabotaging her, I'd have a head start on my weight loss journey. Oh well.

MindiV 12-28-2009 10:02 AM

My co-workers bring snacks up here all the time, and before my husband started trying to lose weight he'd have stuff in the house, like pies his mom baked, etc.

I never saw it as "sabotage" really. I mean...just because I am dedicated to changing my habits doesn't mean they have to be? Why should my co-workers not have snacks up here because I'm not eating them? Why should my husband do without his favorite homemade pie because I can't eat it? It's my fault if I can't stay out of it or being able to say no...not theirs for having it around.

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